I'm going insane!
 

I had such a rotten day yesterday--stressed to the point of hysteria. To wit:

Daughter No. 2 split from her husband of a year and a half. So, now she's alone--again--with two kids this time. She's now in Portland.

So, I'm trying to decide if I should move up there. This not the first time I've contemplated this. It's not that daughter needs me so bad, I'm looking at a move for me, my career, etc.

But trying to decide such a major life change is making me crazy! Such a major change-- this level of stress is telling me something, but whether it's telling me I'm dumb for even considering it; or whether it means it's past time to make a change, I can't figure out yet.

You say it would be a move for your career... what's the job market actually like up there? Maybe send out some resumes, get a feel for the possibilities, and then you'll have a better idea of whether this is something you really want (and are able) to do.

Does she want you there?

JTC :nuts:

she wants me there bad and the job market is better than here.

I'm at the top of my salary range for my profession here in town. I'll have to get another job eventually--my boss is 64 and isn't talking about retiring yet, but I have to look at the long term. My town has very few economic opportunities, and I figure I have another 15 years to work and save.

If I stay here, there's a chance--just a chance--that I'll be able to buy a house, which has been a life-long dream of mine. If I move, I'll lose that chance more than likely.

The thing is, I can go. I've lived here for 20 years, and I have no man in my life, no close friends. My lease is up next month, and I've saved a l ittle bit--enough for a move. But should I?

I kind of feel I owe it to myself to make a change, shake up my life a little, and go on an adventure. It would be risk--and if I don't take that risk, will I feel like a coward? If I'm going to do it, I should do it now, while I'm still young enough to get a good job and enjoy things.

ack!

Damn the torpedos....

I would do it in a heartbeat, its beautiful there, and housing is very reasonable. The area about 20 miles NW of Portland is our retirement destination

When I was contemplating moving down here, I didn't think I was ready...I stressed out, panicked, moved.....and god I'm happy I left that hell hole. Remember that hind-sight is 20/20 and you may not know how much a place is a drain on you until after the change, and you have a different perspective to view from.

I was worried about the move etc.....I thought I was getting too old for lots of upheaval...Turns out..the quality of my life is at least 35 percent better just for taking the risk and moving. I'm pretty happy with it, though the move was rough, and it was difficult finding a good job...It's just really nice not living where I was...The more I think back the more I am elated that my husband made me leave. I was actually over-worrying and everything turned out better than I dreamed...I was actually pretty stupid for staying there for so long...Like I said hindsight is 20/20.


That's actually the other place that we were going to move(Portland)...and we still may at some point.
:D
I've always heard good stuff about it.

"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
--Helen Keller

Go for it Cloud. Then you can post all about your new surroundings!

Do you own a house now? Is it paid off?

Speaking from experience, it can be quite a shock when you realize that your 30yr loan won't be paid off until you're 78.

no house, no.

where were you before, Cicero?

I already told you that in a pm Clouder!! Remember? Anyhoo- I was in a lame town called colo. spgs. Why do you ask?

:)

oh, yeah, sorry. Just wondered.

GRANDBABIES!!!

It sounds like a good time for an adventure.

ugh. Daughter No. 2's in a world of hurt and I am vacillating back and forth. If I move, I give up my medical insurance (and I need medical work done); a lot of my financial security (but I could possibly make $10K more a year elsewhere); my chance at buying a house . . .

fuck. I'm just gonna let it stew for a while. I may need to spend some of my saved money helping Daughter get a place--she's talking about going to a women's shelter right now.

Oh no! That would give up your chance of visiting Cicero this year!!
:(


No really, if it weren't for my hasty not-well-thought-out decisions sometimes....I think I would be in an incredible rut in some small stinky town working on a factory line or something, married to a guy named, Guy, that wears raccoon hats, and drinks a case of natural light every day before going down to the unemployment line. (again) Our cutlass sierra from the 80's would be in good condition aside from guy's fallen roaches, burning the seats while he was driving around while I would be at work for my 10 hour shifts, at minimum wage in a poverty stricken area. Ok that's just one possibility.....and that can go on and on...anyhoo....

I was talking about moving and over-worrying in the other post for a reason. :)

Cheer up and think about how to solve the issue and enhance your life at the same time. Then you would just be enhancing your life and there would be no problem at all....You are a creative person.....I'm sure you'll figure out how to make things life-enhancing rather than problems to deal with. ?

(don't listen to me I'm no sage)

Hitchhike to the great northwest.... naked.

Even my Ex thinks it might be a good idea for me to move. But there are still financial concerns that I have to address.

I've pretty much decided to plan to make A CHANGE--but I'm keeping my options open as to what that change may be. And I am working on a timetable of several months. Not too long, because I could subside into inertia again; but not fast enough to make me panic about it.

So, for now, I'm concentrating on:
1) improving my health and appearance in order to improve my chances at a good job. (Fat people get paid less).
2) continuing to improve my job skills (I had a whole series of courses planned out before this)
3) see if I can improve my credit situation and financial stuff; e.g., a moratoriam on buying new "stuff" as much as possible
4) Declutter my house in preparation for a move. Get rid of the shit that accumulates, and make provisions for ceiling to floor cleaning.

After a few months of this regime I may be able to see my way clearer.

ETA: and one more thing--make sure I spend as much time as possible with the daughter and grandkids that are here!

Maybe go visit when you can line up some job interviews, instead of taking such a risk?

Cloud, rents are high in Portland , just so ya know and it fricken rains all the time, there's mold and year round allergies. I never get to see the sun it seems.



wise
wise a.........acre

My wise mother she say "It is better to regret the things you HAVE done than the things you have NOT" ...

Don't move up there unless she wants you to, otherwise you will both be within distance and lonely.