The Cellar - Scientific chat-up lines

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Scientific chat-up lines

New Scientist has just announced the winners of their competition to write science-based chat-up lines. Aside from variations of "Is that a mass spectrometer in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?", the winners were:

Quote:

Would there be any resistance if I asked to take you ohm?
(Emma Byrne, London, UK)

I love the way you smell so different from my dad.
(Toshi Knell, Nowra, New South Wales, Australia)

Would kissing you increase global warming and damage the Arctic irreversibly, or is it just enough to break the ice?
(Andy McCready, Sheffield, Yorkshire, UK)

I've had my ion you.
(Gary Duffala, Rio Rancho, New Mexico, US)

Baby, you must be a start codon because you are turnin' me on.
(Jessica Swanson, Stratford, Prince Edward Island, Canada)

I don't wish to brag, but in several parallel universes I invented the internet, warned the world about global warming, ran for president and won the Nobel peace prize.
(Yonatan Silver, Jerusalem, Israel)

Hello, I've just taken part in the clinical trial of a new drug to help memory loss; could you tell me, do I come here often?
(John French, Wellington, Somerset, UK)

You are definitely the woman of my REM phase.
(Giuliano Aluffi, Milan, Italy)

Er... hello... um... er. Oh look! Our shoes have similar spectral characteristics.
(Jon White, Rampton, Cambridgeshire, UK)

Meiosis?
(Kirstie Brogan Grace, Grays, Essex, UK)

I'm sure there have been chat-up line threads before but I'm too lazy to search for them.
Share your science-based chat up lines with us here.
And any other good, reliable, bad, outrageous, notorious or just plain funny chat up lines.

Australian = chat up line
American = pick-up line

Sorry.
I was following the language in new scientist which is British.
Australians use both versions.

So, want to come back to my office and see my socio-linguistic dissertations?

Hmmmm.... about as successful as a thread as they would be in the bar.....

I defy all of you thinking that these are poor!

All of these would be brilliant, the trick to know the if the target is a geek, because quite frankly some asking you to explain what ohm or spectral meant while you were hitting on them would really cramp anyones style.

but if your after another nerd, no need to chat 'em up......

"Out of all the faces in the bar tonight, yours most closely approximates the Golden Ratio."

"I just can't take my olfactory bulb off of your pheromonal output."

Your appearance of overall health, fitness, and signals of post-adolescent maturity make you an excellent choice for mating. I am willing to preen myself for an equivalent psycho-biological ritualistic judgment on your behalf. Although I believe that the combination of our DNA would result in the improvement of our species, I am willing to attempt to prevent same through the use of a barrier device.

Actually I love the idea of personality-specific chat up lines.
Except mine would be literary and my most successful relationships have been with men in whom I awakened a love of reading, rather than those who already had it. Well certainly regarding poetry anyway.

Ah if only a man faced with fog would advocate looking for cat footprints, he'd make me swoon...

Quote:

You are definitely the woman of my REM phase.
(Giuliano Aluffi, Milan, Italy)

:lol:

I guess I could try: "Your physical features conform very closely to the ratio of 1:1.618."

Nah.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 419078)

Spock, is that you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet (Post 419424)

Spock, is that you?

Noooooo - its tw.:p

"if i could be any enzyme i would be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes."

(prety sure its dna helicase...)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl (Post 419113)

Ah if only a man faced with fog would advocate looking for cat footprints, he'd make me swoon...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

This morning we have 6 to 8 inches of snow on the ground. Unfortunately it is disolving into the fog. Rain is on the horizon so Kwanza ain't looking too white.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Check the snow for signs of little cat feet.

And now, the runners up:

Quote:

I need a seed for my pseudo-random number generator - could I have your phone number?
Ian Marshall, Palo Alto, California, US

Your universe or mine?
and
Hello, did you know that I've invented calorie-free chocolate, and I've got some back at my place?
Attracta Uí Bhroin, Dublin, Ireland

You're so sweet I am developing insulin resistance.
Alex Carlton, Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire, UK

What's a nice girl like you doing in a superposition like this?
Nigel Eaton, Hitchin, Hertfordshire, UK

Did you know that if oysters had no natural enemies, in 10 years the world would be 28 miles deep in oysters? (We married in 1968 and are still going strong.)
Michael Boddy, Binalong, New South Wales, Australia

Hello, I am Bob. You must be Alice. You haven't changed a bit!
J. H. Van Veen, Voorschoten, The Netherlands

As a quantum physicist, the moment I observed you I determined that we were heading to your place or mine.
and
Of all the bars, on all the planets where conditions support intelligent, bipedal, carbon-based life forms...
Yonatan Silver, Jerusalem, Israel

Hello, I'm Doctor Frankenstein - and I've got a monster!
Allan Whatling, St Mawgan, Cornwall, UK

I've got some francium back at my place.
and
You have a hyperfine structure.
Ilona Schofield and Caroline Riggs, Brighton, East Sussex, UK

Forget what they say about butterflies, I think that you could whip up a storm just by fluttering your eyelashes.
Justin Byrne, Dublin, Ireland

How can I know a hundred digits of pi, but not the 11 digits of your phone number?
Yuan Yang, Leeds, Yorkshire, UK

Looking at you, creationists may have a point after all.
Amy Fairbrother, Northcliff, South Africa