The Itchy Asshole Ledger
 

I was reminded of this bit today......

Sunday at the Supermarket.... nuff said!

if you nearly have an orgasm whilst scratching an itchy asshole......does that make you gay? just askin.....no reason....

...nevermind....

You men get the itchies there for the same reason you have skid marks in your drawers, don't you know? :bolt:

yes you are gay.
:)

You have worms

thanks for your support......you guys are SOOOOO sensitive.

If you have an orgasm while scratching your arse it means your prostate is working. ;)

It's something you should be happy about Jimbo. Scratch away. :)

Although, if it's itchy that far up, you might have worms. I'd get that checked if I were you...

no no....i was asking for a friend.....and my friend was telling me that it just felt so good to scratch it....because the itch was so intense.....there was no....erm.....penetration, as it were.....or so he tells me. *cough*

OK, do I need to spell it out? Toilet paper is our friend. Sheesh

No, but it means you're missing the boat. Lots of wonderful nerve endings there just crying to be stimulated.

Witch Hazel pads help. Wipies help. Soap and water help the most.

I now exercise 5-6 days a week, so I've had plenty of time to think about this. Sweat drips down my back and rolls down into my buttcrack. It tickles and then it stings.

I don't make a thread about it!

Sheesh.

hmmm...if it's stinging (can you believe I just typed 'stinking' lol) you might need to see if you've got haemaroids. I don't think sweat should sting should it?

i'm not looking. srsly

If Sundae has them, would they be shemorroids?

(Off to start thread about boogers.)

Nah, it's just the fact the skin is sensitive and probably not accustomed to a daily salt rub.

I had the old Farmer Giles when I was in my 20's. Didn't itch, just pooched out and scared me - I thought my arse was falling out because I's had anal sex. The Doctor was very sympathetic - bet she laughed up her sleeve when I left though.

I wondered if my arse was falling out when I developed them after giving birth. I wasn't nearly as mortified by that as I was at realizing I shat all over the bed when I was pushing him out.

Arses are such embarrassing body parts.

SHE SAID 'SHAT'!

so did he!

I lust after a bidet.

I have a funny story about a bidet.

When my husband and I celebrated our wedding aniversay recently, he booked us into this quasi posh little cottage for the weekend. When we first arrived, he asked me if I knew why there would be two toilets. That was funny enough. Then later in the weekend, he said he was going to pee in the bidet, at which point I had to tell him that it's not in fact, a urinal although there may be some similarities such as no seat.

married up, did he? ;)

I wouldn't say that. Have you seen how low class some of my comments are? lol

You can be classy and vulgar at the same time.

er . . . can't you? :eyebrow:

hmmm...in my experience, the answer to that would be no. lol If you're going to be vulgar (which I often am) any class you might have gets thrown straight out the window.

I do a pretty good impression of someone with class every once and a while though. ;)

Nope, if you do it with style vulgarity is classless. In fact it's even better if people think you are refined.
You so do :)

Ummm...thanks? lol You're too kind even?

SG that is so true. Dignity and Vulgarity in action can be a joy to behold. I once saw a quite proper individual launch into a superb rant and verbal sandblasting after they had been pushed beyond bearing by insufferable customer service. Ex military of a certain vintage.

reminds me of a terribly funny you tube link that jinx posted a while back.

One of my favorite scenes ever from that show!

Sometimes your asshole itches so intensely that you can feel it in your left big toe. On the right side near the toenail.

The Itchy Asshole Ledger

At least Heath had a younger brother to carry on his work, then.

:bolt:

Do you sniff your finger afterwards?

If you do (which you would!!), do you continue to sniff it and think "that stinks".

your opinion of me seems to have taken downward turn.......

i do an asshole scratching, ass shaking, booty dance. no...i cant carry that any further.....too visual by far.

i use a wad of tp of course. and it usually occurs to me that the scratchin of the itch is so relieving and pleasurable as to almost make the twitching from the itching worth it in the....end. I don't think i'm in as bad shape as BigRed, but I need much more discipline in my choices of diet. buffalo wings have to go, I'm afraid. As does sneaking pretzels......I'm not going to rule Beer out yet, but it's on thin ice. I'll see how more salad and less grease does for me for a month......and if I have no new entries to this ledger...I'll call it a success.

I still luv ya LJ, I just lump you in with other scumbag car industry scumbags...

Majority of them would scratch n sniff

and do you lump yourself in amongst us, then?

I cant recall my arsehole actually being itchy, and I dont believe I would scratch it at work :)

I get itchy arse cheeks, but not hole.

Maybe that's why you're not getting as many sales as you would like...

I get an itchy asshole after having a bout of hardcore diarrhea. Never eat burritos from a gas station.

Never eat burritos from a gas station.

Duuhh !!! the Street vender have the better ones !!

Might want to go get checked for worms, too, before you start going crazy on the dietary discipline.

The Itchy Asshole Ledger

I thought this was a Heath bashing thread.
I guess I'll need to go elsewhere to mock the dead prick.
And some of you cellar assholes.