Loaded Nachos/ Tortillas
 

BACK STORY:
We went out on Bonfire Night and need to eat quickly and cheaply in a pub.
I am SO unfussy, but it turned out HM Bro was.
Now I was twitching and glancing at my watch every two minutes as we went from place to place, but I was happy with were we ended up, and I was happy that HM and I would share Loaded Nachos.

When it arrived I was very disappointed. The nachos (tortilla chips in this case, although that is forgiveable) were flavoured, the cheese had been baked hard (ie no longer even stringy) and everything was a stodge that had to be picked apart.

On second question from HM Bro I admitted they were , "Close to inedible" meaning another 5 minutes and I would not have done more then pick at the edges. We didn't have time to send them back but I was aware that HM was unhappy with my attitude - he was paying and I had been twitchy all evening.


ADVICE PLEASE:
Am cooking loaded tortillas as an example/ apology.
I have chilli (v good recipe - making with turkey mince to lower fact content)
Guacomole - jar, not risking first time from scratch!
Sour cream for separate bowl
Two cheeses for melting
Jalapenos

Any advice re layering please?
I can prove I wasn't being a nacho snob merely by not leaving the damn thing under a hot grill for 10 minutes, but if I can get any additional advice I'd appreciate it.

From bottom to top:

Chips
Chili/Beans
Cheeses
Guacamole
Sour Cream
Jalapenos

The general rule for me is you go from hot to cold (cheeses of course being stored cold but you want them to be hot and melted on the nachos,) with the exception of the jalapenos because A.) they are a pretty garnish and B.) you wouldn't want to accidentally get three or four buried in a single bite.

I have to say though, chili is rare on nachos around here. Usually it is just refried beans (mashed and cooked-again pinto beans) or black beans. Sometimes ground beef or fajita meat will be layered on top of that, but usually not together with the beans in a chili sauce.

agreed, clobble, but....
you have to do 2 layers of chips/beans/cheese.

dice tomatoes on top, too....but after they come out of the oven...

and i much prefer frejoles negros

Well sure, but she didn't say she had tomatoes. Everything except the beans and cheese should go on after they come out of the oven.

And two layers? What kind of weirdo yankee nonsense is that? I mean, I guess if you're trying to make sure you don't end up with a leftover pile of chips underneath with no toppings... but you should just use fewer chips in that case.

Sorry if it's not traditional - I've had many different layered/ loaded nachos/ tortillas but what I am going for here is an improvement on what we were served. Chilli rather than refried beans, guacamole, sour cream to the side, melted cheese & jalapenos.

Without being overconfident I am pretty sure I cab out-do the mess we were served, just would like help with the order (though authentic advice will be stored away for the future)

I usually do chips chees chips cheese, melt that, then put the beans etc on after with more cheese, melt, then sour cream etc.

actually, I'm going to go make some right now. This has made me hungry for nachos. I'm going to cheat though and use a bottled nachos topping instead of making my own sauce.

authentic advice, eh? well....lah tee dah!.....

Loosely related anecdote:

In high school I went on a school trip to London, and the one really irritating kid insisted that we go to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch one day. So we did, and he ordered fajitas, which the waitress pronounced "fah-JEE-tahs." When they arrived, she asked if he knew how he was supposed to eat them. We all laughed at her.

they were very tasty

I don't generally advocate violence, but you would have been well within your rights to wallop her. Bearing in mind 60% of Brits know how to pronounce fajitas, and I am working on the rest of them.

They do a cracking Caesar salad though. With anchovies. Which I heard a Merkin practically gag at. READ THE MENU FIRST! (I love anchovies, but this taught me that Caesar Salad does not have universal ingrededients)

hmm, I'm not sure which of two things you are talking about.

Around here (Tex-Mex border, and you can't get any more authentic than that); nachos are tortilla chips topped with a variety of toppings, but most commonly, beef (usually ground, or minced as you would say) or chicken, cheese, sour cream, chiles, tomatos, guac, etc. They are based on regular tortilla chips. Anything on a tortilla is called something else, e.g., tostada, quesadilla -- depending on what you do to it.

There's also a "layered dip" which I'm familiar with, which kind of sounds like what you might be talking about. It's a dip with --uh, yeah, layers-- usually for a party, in which you dip the chips. Very messy, but good.

. . . or do you use tortillas and make your own chips with them? (confused) I've been trying to figure out why you would use tortillas to make nachos (other than making them into chips).

Put the chili on it if you want--what's wrong with that? As long as it tastes good to you.

Maybe the confusion is because "chips" are what Brits call french fries?

No, she seems to have corn chips clearly in mind -- curious maize crisps from the Americas.

I'd say both the refried beans and a layer of the turkey chili atop the bean layer. Or somewhere in the middle anyway to moisten quite a few of the chips' parts that are towards the center of the dish.

Refrieds are absurdly simple, and while usually done with pinto beans, they could readily enough be done with any bean other than kidney. I think kidney beans refried would come off rather too strong, too -- not-refrieds. First, simmer beans until they are very tender and the bean water has gotten pretty full of bean carbohydrates and is thickening. Add 1-2 TBSP (30-60ml) of bacon dripping or lard, either works fine. It's done when the fat is melted and stirred in. Remove from heat and mash by hand or puree in blender. To prepare for eating, reheat gently. If you prefer, the fat may be added in the reheating. It's ready when the fat is melted, and you stir this in as above.

Guacamole from scratch is no harder and you don't have to light a burner. All you really need to ensure is that your avocados are the black, lumpy-skinned Haas variety, for this kind mushes up best into green avocado goop, and that they be ripe -- giving somewhat under your finger when pressed. If they're very soft, they're going overripe and make ugly looking guac. Some like to use either one of the bright green variety of avocado or a somewhat less ripe Haas for a bit of chunky texture mixed in with everything else. Your other ingredients are, and as fresh as you can get 'em: 1-2 large cloves of garlic for every two avocados, half a large shallot, one largeish jalapeno pepper, 1-2 limes, and one Roma tomato per batch of guac. Salt to taste. Guac can be fooled with quite a lot as far as quantities go; to make a batch bigger, just add more avocados and adjust your lime and salt. The lime juice keeps the guacamole from browning in the air.

If you need to ripen your avocados, stow them in a paper bag as you would ripen any other fruit, check daily for that somewhat yielding texture. You'll need a mixing bowl, a chefs' knife, a potato masher, a tablespoon, and a fork.

Halve your avocados with the chefs' knife, cutting all around the pit and periphery and unscrewing the two halves of each fruit. To remove the slippery hard smooth pit, thunk your knife edge into the pit and unscrew it out of the avocado half. Holding the knife's edge away from you over your kitchen wastebasket, put your hand on the blade's back and use thumb and forefinger to pinch the pit off the knife edge and into the wastebasket. Works a treat, and quite safe! With your avocados halved and pitted, use the spoon to scoop the green and yellow flesh out of the skin and into the mixing bowl.

Cut the limes into quarters suitable for squeezing. Peel and mince the garlic and the shallot, and mince the jalapeno, all very fine. Chop the tomato fairly fine. The garlic, shallot, jalapeno and tomato can all go in together, but first we mush up the avocados with the potato masher, which will likely reduce the avocados to a chunky paste. Now complete the job by mushing the avocados even smoother with the fork against the walls of the bowl. Add garlic, shallot, jalapeno and tomato, and mix in with the fork. Squeeze at least four of the quarters of lime into the mixture and stir in. Be prepared to use six quarters of lime or even more if it's a large batch, but taste test after four to see if it's citrusy enough. Sprinkle in a small palmful of salt, to taste. Your salting can vary quite a bit.

You can optionally garnish with chopped fresh cilantro, or stir some into the batch if everybody likes cilantro.

If you're in a hurry, you can substitute salsa cruda, which is minced-everything-but-the-avocados above, lime juice being optional but tasty. Bottled cooked salsa maybe not so great -- guacamole seems at its best with its ingredients all raw.

Once you've made your own guacamole, "guacamole dipping sauce" simply tastes feeble and vitiated. They keep cutting the stuff with mayonnaise or something... moderate feh!

When you've made guacamole from scratch thrice, you shall be the acknowledged master of guacamole for blocks around!

I draw the line at guacamole. Avocados are GROSS!

:greenface

Yes, I know I'm in the minority here. Buy no loathsome green squishy stuff will ever pass my lips.

Don't be so sure about that. I bet most people avoid that green crap.

Dunno. Most people give me "the look" when I tell them I hate avocados. Like, get me away from this crazy woman look!

I've never given so much thought to the proper layering of nachos.

Mostly when I make nachos at home, it's Tostitos brand tortilla chips (the round kind); and grated cheddar cheese on top. Nuke for 1 minute on half power, top with Pace picante sauce and sour cream if I want to be extra messy. That's it.

. . .

Excuse me, I have to go grocery shopping now!

Debating authenticity when it comes to nachos is kind of silly. As far as I know, nachos are a Tex-Mex invention; there is a lot of flexibility in interpretation.

I don't actually hate avocados but I don't like them. I want my fruit juicy, sweet, a little tart, but not oily.
Just my take.

Same here.

We could do a poll.

Not down here. Guacamole is a staple, and avocado slices are quite standard on sandwiches at any place better than a Subway... But I realize it's entirely a regional love.

yes, they're everywhere! Lurking in perfectly otherwise-palatable burgers, sandwiches, and salads. And nachos.

Our local chinese restaurant makes salmon fried rice with brown rice, topped with a sliced avocado - it's wonderful... I might have it for dinner...

so, I never did get a clarification, SG--are the nachos you're familiar with made with tortillas? (as opposed to tortilla chips?) Just curious, honest.

Oh, and nobody has mentioned the Anti-Nachos: those tough round things of a vaguely corn-like nature topped with orange hydrogenated vegetable oil, aka cheez soss, which abound at convenience stores and movie theaters.

Ick. Ook. and Gobbledygook!

Shop-bought Ceasar Dressing here has anchovies in it. They're just ground up really small.

Poor waitress was only trying to help. I would have had no idea about pronunciation or what to do before I moved here. Maybe she was new and keen to make a good impression and it never occurred to anyone to tell her the pronunciation. Or maybe she was joshing you and you just didn't get it. I hope you tipped well, bloody yankee tourists. :lol:

I was talking about tortilla chips (unsalted) because they are they easiest thing to get hold of here. When we go to the cinema we get the hard round things and are called nachos, but I wouldn't go out of my way to find them. No idea what you mean by the two different names but I'll use them correctly if you can explain the difference.

Anyway, all went well. If my camera was working I'd have taken a photo but I guess they would be messy to anyone without the ability to taste through the screen... Just a big ole pile of chips with molten cheese and chopped jalapenos from the outside. Inside the treasure of more cheese, chips, guacamole and chilli.

HM complimented me and thanked me on more than one occasion - I could tell he really enjoyed them. He also said he knew exactly what I meant about the poor excuse for loaded chips last week. Although he did say he was so hungry he wouldn't have noticed how bad they were until I said - I think this is a little bit of getting off the stick because he saw how much of a point I had... may be wrong. Anyway - feel all bloated now, but really really pleased I did it.

Then we watched Hot Fuzz. Heaven.

i bought that movie on your advice and was underwhelmed. jinx fell asleep to it twice that i know about.

Sad to here that. I can watch it again and again (and have done)
It's just so... sly :)

Cloud I think I know what you mean know - no, not the big soft floury tortillas, the small triangular chips. But they are often called nachos on the menu, hence my confusion.

must speak to your english sense of humor better. it was long as hellllllll, too. not awful.....just not cathartic like it was for you.

No subtitles and I just couldn't hear it. :sniff:

I'm sure it's just a language interpretation prob. SG, I'm so glad they turned out good!

Two layers of all the goods are mandatory, including chese. Then bake in the oven for 12-15 min or until done.