Holy crap I got raped
 

I was riding my bike back from class 30 minutes ago and unexpectedly I got a restricted cell fone call.
Hmmmm. Who is this?
I pick it up, and it's this lady from ESPN, calling about the internship I applied for about a statistics job.
She raped me.
Very bad.
She told me I had a typo on my cover letter/resume. She said she didn't want to disqualify it just based on that, but the job requires attention to detail. The typo was her name.

OWNED.
I told her I'm very sorry, and she said it's important to get the name right of who you're contacting (I'M A FREAKIN' IDIOT). Which it definitely is. (AND I DEFINITELY AM)

Then she said I had no sports experience (which I don't so far, I'm trying to get my foot in the door! :( ) and I said, "Yes, sorry not yet" and then she asked if I had knowledge.
:3eye: Now I think (thought!) I had knowledge. But I don't. I don't. I don't know shit. :greenface
Then she asked, "oh you do? So you could tell me how to calculate the ERA average?" And I was like "yeah! (white lie for confidence!)"
Then she was like, "ok, what is it?"

OWNED.

I was like "um (10 seconds) I can't think of it, offhand" (WHAT A FREAIN' NOOB FRESH)

Then she asked me the last five heisman winners.

OWNED.
I said "Reggie Bush?"

Then she said who the last five pennant winners.
I named White Sox, Bosox, and Marlins. I couldn't even name the goddamn Cards from last year.

She then said with scorn, "well can you at least name two players on the Lakers, other than Kobe?"
:blush: Yay! My time to shine!
I told her Lamar Odom, Kwame Brown, Chris Mihm, but she didn't care.

She asked what sports do I know more about, I told her pro basketball and football. In recollection, those two are actually the sports I'm almost exclusive too, sadly.

She told me based off this fone rapage I'm not qualified and she's looking for a well rounded individual.

It was embarassing, humiliating and very, very humbling. A chance at ESPN would be golden! I'm a frickin' n00b. But I guess this is the first of many ownage/rapage experiences in a future career.
In hindsight, I shouldn't have lied about the ERA calculating. :3_eyes:

But at least it showed me--hey fresh, you're not the shit. Do your homework. That's what I'm gonna do.:dunce:

Ouch. Lesson learned I hope.

The fact that she called anyway is positive though. Still, ouch.

It's good that you're not being too defensive about it. If you do end up in the industry, your paths may cross again. Tell her how much you learned from that experience. :)
Better luck (and preparation!) next time.

I second Pie. Yes, you lack in knowledge - but that can be remedied. The important thing is your attitude to what happened. The fact that you admit the mistakes you made and intend to do better in future is really positive.

Bet your cheeks still burn when you think about it weeks later though :)

Yeah....but if my experiences are anything to go by, that embarrassment will start to fade after a decade or so.....

Agreed, sounds horribly unpleasant.

That said, if I was being particularly touchy, I might suggest that the use of the word raped in this context diminishes the power of that word to describe the devastating effects of that sex crime on the victims. But I could just be old and out of touch.

I'm very glad you weren't truly raped. That would probably have been a huge emotional set-back in your college career. This one you will get over, and at least it was over the phone and not face-to-face in front of a panel. And you learned from it rather than blaming the interviewer as so many are wont to do.

Thanks all, and my bad monster.

It had JUST happened, and I used the word that was continually drumming in my mind. I tossed the word rape around (unfortunately) just like the word owned. I'm sorry it was inappropriate to use that word, good catch monster.

Anyway, currently I am going to contact my park district back at home and hopefully land an internship there. I can't go big yet, so let's start off with little kids and soccer!

Actually, when I saw the thread title, I thought, for one horrible gut-sinking moment that you'd been attacked or abused. Very glad was I when I hovered over the link and got the first few lines of the post :P

I noticed that's something a lot of gamers do. I got used to that somewhat in UO. Still made me pull up short when I saw the title tho:P

now you're talking something worthwhile. and here is the kicker - if you actually get bitten by the bug and become a real football fan... there is your niche. espn, sportsillustrated, foxsoccerchannel.com, pretty much all of them use crummy writers who know nothing about the sport to cover major events. get your feet wet and you can slip in there. plus you'll get to be around the beautiful game and get paid for it.

hear hear.

Also, the word "owned", when used in terms of a human, is diminishes the word as it connotes slavery.

j u s t . k i d d i n g

and of course pwned is dispespectful to those in poverty needing a quick cash loan

I always read it as prawned.
As I always thought Prawn of Prophecy when I saw David Eddings' ubiquitous book in the 80s.

At least no one mentioned the F-word...

"Prawn of Prophecy"

(would type a pithy comment, but too busy ROTFL)

We always used to say, "Grease up, here it comes!" or "Time to buy stock in Cheseborough-Ponds*!"
I guess this is horribly minimizing to those who have experienced lack of lube...

* C-P used to be the maker of Vaseline. It was acquired by Unilever in 1987.

I, for one, was relieved when I saw that it was freshness that had started the thread. Too often, I see the last poster's name on the search results (Labrat when I first saw it) and I got that falling off a chair backwards feeling for a second. Then when I opened it.....

She raped me.
Very bad.

leaped out at me.....and I got all turned on.....that's when i noticed freshness was the author...

so.....now that you know about the drama that is my life.....


good story, freshhy. souds like an episode of threes company....except the part where you dont actually get the job and succeed in faking it for a couple days, which is long enough to get the girl

Did you at least do an impression of Dick Vitale or Howard Cosell? That always gets 'em going.

Just wanted to emphasize, rule number one in the newspaper industry is spell the names correctly. That is probably also rule number one in job applications. I'm surprised they even called you back... which suggests there must still be a fair bit going for you, if they still called you despite the error.
Better luck next time. And now you know what kind of questions to anticipate. Time to turn yourself into a walking sports trivia book.

I was going to make the comment about the use of "raped" , but that has been covered. Wow, that's two learning experiences in one day. Feeling dizzy yet?

Shit....I freaked when I saw the title, and fresh as the author....sooooo glad it was a minor rapage as far as rapage goes!!

Bummer Fresh, but I am seriously liking your outlook on the whole experience.

:D

Good luck with the next one

ERA: I am 99% sure this is how it works but I would double check.

You take the earned runs for the pitcher. Lets say 2.

Then take how many innings he pitched that game. Lets say 6.

That means the pitcher has an average of 2 earned runs for every 6 innings. Then you have to find out how many earned runs he would get if he theoretically pitched 9 innings, which would be 3. So the pitchers ERA is 3.

My Freshman year in high school I managed to pull off an ERA of infinite after my first appearance, figure that one out. ;)


Better luck next time though Fresh.

You sure it was infinite? Infinity can be reached by dividing by zero.
To get infinity as your ERA, you'd have to give away (at least) one run but pitch no innings.... How'd you manage that?

That's what happens if you give up a run and are taken out (or the game ends) without getting anybody out at all.

Thank you. I can now sleep again.

UT got it right. And it was glorious.

I was put in for two batters, both hit doubles on me, coach wasn't happy.