Casual Friday - Corporate Hell Thread
 

Time to share more aspects of corporate life that are amusing in a sick or sad way...

The two dozen of us had been pulled into a conference room for a meeting on what had been a fairly normal Monday. People were busy chatting about football games, cookouts, and all the normal weekend topics office drones carry on about while waiting for the staff meeting to begin. In the middle of the table, a speaker phone beeped to announce that our director (who worked at another office) had joined the conference number to speak to us. My manager, sitting across from me, had a long and unhappy look on his face. On seeing this, I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that only grew worse as our director addressed the group.

"Good morning", he said in a flat tone followed by a heavy sigh, "I, uh... well, I have some bad news and I want to get it out of the way." The volume in the room quickly dropped. "You've all heard there have been budget cuts, recently, and we've done everything we can to tighten our belts." I winced. "Unfortunately, I have to tell you all that we're going to lose a lot of good, talented people to these cuts." Some in the room emitted groans of disgust as a thick depression set in. Blank stares, furrowed brows, and silence ruled the room until someone asked, "How many?"

"Somewhere between ten and twenty-five percent."

I looked over to see a co-worker's head hit the table in frustration. I threw my pencil across the room, knowing that my contract position was guaranteed to be eliminated. Those that lost their jobs were in for a world of hurt while those that were retained by the company were going to be completely swamped by a mountain of work. Everyone was screwed. No one said a thing. It felt like minutes went by as the director searched for the right words, something to say to his people, something to reassure them that life would go on and the world wasn't ending, words from a leader to shake us from shock.

"In light of this, uh, information", he stuttered, "...you may all wear jeans for the rest of the week."

Total silence. Some confused looks. Had we heard him right? Had our director attempted to ease the pain of a major layoff announcement by extending casual Friday? Was this a joke?

"...since, ah, you might as well be comfortable during this difficult time. Thank you, uh, for your time." The conference line beeped to signal he had hung up.

That was the day I changed. From then, on, I knew I could never treat a job at a major corporation seriously ever again.

That really sucks. However, I did laugh my ass off and read it to a few people when they came into my office to make sure I was not going insane.

It sounds typical.. I remember during the days of the .com bust, I saw more than one article basically saying that management types were relieved that, with the tight labor market easing, they would once again be able to force employees to wear suits. You could tell some of these people just really weren't comfortable unless they could essentially punish their employees for the heinous crime of being their employees!

I remember when my employer instituted a written dress code for the first time... one of my cow-orkers was a very dapper button-down kind of guy. I figured he'd be all for it, but he said, "I wear a tie because I choose to.. I'll be damned if I'll sit still for somebody telling me to do it!"

yeah, and you can wear a Hawaiian shirt on Fridays /Lumbergh voice

I don't think I remember anyone switching to jeans, perhaps in rebellion. I found that strangely amusing. And sad.

Well, to finish that story, months passed and no one got laid off. There were some major re-orgs within the company and money was mysteriously "found", as it always was during bad times, and everyone kept their jobs for a little while longer. Morale was pretty low from then on out, though.

Morale has been so low for so many years at my place of employment that many aspects of the company are now engineered to deal with negative employee reactions. (more on these this, later) So while a lot of the problems that must be dealt with are expected, especially in a company with an employee population in the tens of thousands, it is the subtle reactions that most often make one realize they're working in a place where people have a dim view of their job.

Several years ago I went out for lunch and, on my drive out of the business park, I noticed a couple vehicles pulled off to the side of the road and a cluster of people gathered around gazing and pointing into the woods. I joked to myself that maybe they had found a body and, sure enough, on my return an hour later I passed by a series of cones that had closed off a portion of the road inside the business park with a string of yellow police tape just beyond. I parked near my building and walked down the road from the office to investigate, moving the cones aside as I arrived to allow an ambulance and firetruck through to the scene that was already crowded with police. As I stood at a distance, watching, the coroner arrived on scene and I witnessed the police head into the woods with a ladder. Yep -- someone had decided to hang themselves from one of the big oaks sometime the night before or early that morning.

I didn't realize it at the time, but the commotion had caused many in the office to crowd around the windows in an attempt to figure out what was going on. After the ambulance had departed with lights off and no cargo, I figured the investigation would take some time and headed back in -- nothing to see there.

"What happened?"
"What's going on?"
"Was there an accident?"
"Is everything okay?"

I explained what I knew -- police said they'd found a body up the road and it appeared that to be a suicide by hanging. I found it surprising that it happened in the business park, but owning a police scanner I know that suicide is pretty much the norm for any given day in any part of this town. When the news finally got to my manager, he rushed up to me and made a request: "Please do a headcount."

"What?"
"We need to make sure everyone is okay."

I was surprised and didn't understand -- out of the many thousands of people in the dozen or so companies inside the business park, I didn't see a reason to suspect that one of our people had offed themselves. Yet, my manager was insistent and began to rush from cubical to cubical, taking roll. When my manager couldn't locate some of his employees, he frantically paged them until they called in to let him know that yes, they were in fact alive and no, they were not yet that stressed out with their line of work. Phone calls were placed, security was alerted to the situation down the street, and I watched in amazement as other managers sprang into action, checking off names from their rosters. This, I figured, was not a normal reaction.

I found out later that my management had been concerned for some months about the mental health of their employees. More and more of them were on anti-depressants and, in my group, half had seen a doctor in the prior two years for stress and depression.

You'd think this would be a good indication that something wasn't quite right.

Wow. That is one rough workplace.

Sounds kinda' typical to me.

The Marketing Director was very proud of her jeans today at work and pointed them out. I was like yea- that's- that's - those are neat. Ya know....something to live for.
Sad.
I work here but I don't directly work for them....so....I'm probably supposed to live by their rules...but they don't pay me. So if they have a problem with the way I dress they can talk to my boss, who really won't be interested in hearing it.
The staff gets jealous and points out my jeans when I'm wearing them M-Th or whenever. That is also so sad. It's not like I look trashy at work, I usually have something on with the jeans that dresses them up a bit- but alas...for some people it is still really a big deal.

Maybe if your pants are tight enough it will keep your life from falling apart somehow? Happy Jeans!!! Wooo-hoo!!!

;)

Cicero - in Colorado, it seems, everyone wears jeans. I thought NM was the same way.

Are you in Colorado HLJ?
When I lived in Colorado jeans were more off limits than they are here in a corporate environment*......I think it really just depends on the company you work for.
Most people down here are pretty relaxed about that....just not at this particular place along with a couple others I can think of.

Disclaimer:
*Well- The place I was living is pretty conservative compared to the rest of Colorado, I have to add.* Not that jean friendly...not that anything friendly really....thinking about it.

I'm in the Denver area. The only people I see in suits are the lawyers that work in my building, and then only when they're going to see the judge.

I don't think the standards have much to do with suits. At most corporations I worked at in Colorado, as well as here, what you were wearing was ok as long as it wasn't jeans of any kind.
Business to business casual was all fine.
Except for Lexis Nexis, they let people edit in their pajamas...which I would never do.

My office: no shorts, no sleeveless shirts, no uncovered toes in the manufacturing area (if something falls and cuts one off, it is easier to find if it is still in your shoe). Other than that, we are very casual. Some people like the slacks, button-up, loafers route. Others are in jeans and a golf shirt every day. I like to mix it up.

Let me guess...Colorado Springs?

:D
Noo waay. Wrong. How could you be so wrong about such a thing?!?

The jeans thing kind of makes me laugh. Most places I have worked in the tech field have allowed for wearing jeans. Once place I worked was so funny about it. They use to taunt their sales staff by dangling the jeans privilege in front of them to encourage performance. If we make x number of sales this week, next friday you can wear jeans! Yay! I wanted someone to pipe up and say "Sorry, but my commission only affords me this pair of second hand dockers."

When I was working in sales I had to dress to a certain standard for the customers benefit (although I don't really think the customers cared). When I went to logistics, dress standards were more relaxed and I wore jeans pretty much every day.

Now I often wear my pajamas since I work from home. :)

Awesome!! I've had the same pair of lame Dockers (beige) that I bought second-hand 5 years ago!!! I happened to be discussing the dress code with a manager when I wore them to work recently........she said that I "Always look so nice" as she came by my room in passing........poor thing was really reaching for a compliment!


I then got to discuss my Dockers with her at that point....I gave her the Docker's history because she opened that window of opportunity! It felt good case....now that really felt good.....I got to say "yeah...I got these second hand...years ago.....". Then I gave her a look telling her it wasn't by choice!!! Haaa! Silly......but I wish you had been there! You probably would have enjoyed it.:D

Yeah, you and your Prada can get out of my office before I continue to discuss my crusty beige dockers. Thanks......

Kitsune, my sympathies. I now personally hate your boss.
"One quarter of you are going to lose your jobs, the rest of you are going to have your workloads increased by a third ... but to make up for this, I'm going to let you wear jeans for a week!"
To suggest that this in ANY WAY makes up for the bomb he has just dropped is insulting to the intelligence and needs of the staff. If that were in a Dilbert cartoon (and it well could be) I would laugh, but in real life ... I'm not sure whether to shake my head sadly or reach for the Molotov cocktails.

Which sooner or later suggests a minor head twitch and flicking the Zippo.

Cicero, I have always resented dress codes in underpaid positions. It is like saying "Not only am I not going to pay you much, but I expect you to spend more of the money I don't pay you than is reasonable on clothing to come here and work." When I was in the work world, I wore a lot of second hand "business" clothing. I started to look for ways to grunge it up, whilst adhering to the dress code. I have worked in few environments with dress codes, but those I have worked in have been irritating, to say the least. I like your crusty dockers comments. Heh. Can one even find Dockers new, anymore? I don't know because I have never bought them new.

After 20 years in uniform I don't dress up for anyone unless it is a wedding or a funeral.

My understanding is that this is extremely difficult in clothing stores -- workers in those positions are paid very low wages but must wear recently released, name brand clothing in order to help advertise it and "look the part". Second hand Dockers or faded shirts will get you sent home, so part of the sales positions essentially requires you to constantly buy new clothing. Imagine how much money you'd be out if you had to drop cash every time a new seasonal line is released. The company, of course, pays for none of it and the worker is left with very little paycheck in the end.

Yeah....my boss isn't like that. She knows that I am only paid one-sixth of what this job normally contracts out for. But the other people here at work have no idea what I do and how much I make.....All they care about is the fact that my hair doesn't look so hot. Because they are ridiculous and stupid(ass-hats)..................Most of their job is "looking the part". Most of my job is actually doing the part. So you don't like my hair? GFY

At one of my past jobs, the boss's wife (Argggh) was constantly asking me when I was going to dress a "little nicer". Now, this was a job where on any given day I might go home clean or gunked up from having to do some maintenance on equipment. I got her to stop one day by asking what my clothing allowance was. (This was years ago, in a job where asking for a $.10 per hour raise was like asking for their firstborn). Never bothered me again. :D

Modern American companies cannot be trusted any further than you can throw their corp grounds over your shoulder. ;)

If you are a contractor you are also eligible to end the contract and to move on to another one.

If they are laying people off and your work increases, you have options. As a contractor there are times that they are perfectly willing to give you a bit more because you are contractor, ie overtime even for engineers.

It's not romance, it's engineering.

Don't get comfortable in the US in an engineering job. Ninely percent of the world's engineering will be done in Asia by 2020. Know the trends and where you fit in.

Welcome Nowhere!
This reminds me of what one of our long-timers (Lumberjim) here said to do about people that correct your pronunciation- as I think it might also work for this type of scenario. Ask them about their breath problem. Or ask them if they have a mint and avoid actually taking one.
:D

When I worked in The City (financial district of London) I and my colleagues loathed the introduction of "dress down Friday" when we were told we could wear "smart casual" clothes to work. None of us had "smart casual" so almost everyone (especially the guys, as it happens), went out and bought special clothes for Fridays. Me? I just ignored it and wore the usual smart stuff. My home clothes (jeans, T shirts, scruffy sweaters) were a long, Long, LONG way from what I wore to the office (skirt suits, heels, statement jewellery items) and was not going to pay out extra money for clothes to be worn one day of the week only.

:lol2: That's priceless.

"You can't bill for more than 40 hours."
"But you made me stay here until I got the job done."
"Yes, but overtime is not allowed."
"Great! I'm leaving early, then."
"You can't, you have to be here during core hours. Comp time is not allowed."
"...but then I'll be here over 40 hours. Should I just leave the next time I'm in the middle of an outage when my time is up?"
"No, you have to fix the problem even if it means staying over."
"I have to bill for the time I worked, which is more than--"
"You can't bill for more than 40 hours."

(wash, rinse, repeat)

I have no plans to ever be a contractor, again, if I can help it.

Really? Most of our software engineers are over there (>75%) and the quality of the code they produce is ass (not to mention the frequent problem of data theft and rapid turnover), so they've been busy moving some of that functionality back. A couple of significant "incidents" made them rethink the whole "offshoring is so cheap, nothing can possibly go wrong!" idea.

Almost an engineer.
...until I saw how they are treated. :worried:

I am being lent on to buy a Halloween costume that will be worn five times in total. I might try that clothing allowance line. At least it will get a laugh.

Thanks Zen....we need a Halloween thread.

This whole thing just sounds like "Office Space"



http://www.seomoz.org/img/articles/Office%20Space.jpg