I Ducks, do hereby solemnly declare....
 

...that I am taking a break from everything and anything to do with the opposite sex* (dont get any ideas, I shant be batting for the other team anytime soon)

This includes...::gulp::... sex for the sake of sex, fuck buddies, married men, one nite stands, bases 1 and 2, dry humping, heavy petting (is this base 2?) and dating....oh...and cybering in any way shape or form (sorry ToGgie!!)

I have been out today and bought myself an xbox 360, to add to the gaming collection, all kinds of alcohol beverages and bikkies n cheese, chips (crisps), plus I dropped a small fortune at Darryl Lea.

Your assistance in this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You :)


*excluding work environments and flirting, coz...well, it helps me get my own way :)

I thought you gave up on blokes a few weeks ago ducksy? Has something else happened in the mean time?

I just need to keep away from army dudes, I think that is my main problem...but I have decided its all too fucking hard and giving up :)

LJ - shit head, thanks heaps.

Darn, there goes our IOTD.

Can you translate for us Yanks. Is 'bikkies' biscuits or crackers? What's a Darryl Lea?

So sex on a desk doesn't count? How very Clintonesque of you.;)

Take a break, but hang in there. From your pics you are a very attractive person and you should have your pick of guys. And if you don't believe that, we could always post a poll:eek:.

I am depressed. Nay, despondent.

Ducks, I didn't see "married men with permission from their wives" on that list. When shall I expect you?

Ducks! you've depressed Els! You can't do that, sweetie! you must, right now, post a pic of your lovelies so as to appease his 'Spode-ness!*

I know what you mean, RE: army dudes. I married one. I lurrrrrrrved him. One night, we drank the bar dry of tequila, I got preggers and the rest, baby, is history. Do NOT do it! Army dudes, while HAWT in uni, rarely are hawt in any real life situation--they tend to just want to shoot at anything that threatens....anyway, we love you!

*Els--don't say I never did nothin' for ya!

You are my goddess and connection to reality in an otherwise insane world, Bri.

Shit, sorry 'spode, of course you are still on the list.

Thats different, you *love* me and not just coz I am a dirty slurry.

Bri, I think you are very correct about the Army thing. When I get back on the horse (so to speak), I might try fire boys. :)

army guys are generally douches

But, but....youre still cute :D

Ducks, you can have them wear the uniform without them being the real deal.... best of both worlds and all that.....

Fuck off. :D

Hey Merc that can be a good thing. Ya'll clean up the mess the pussies make! :D

Yabbut, they have to get into character and shit too....Navy boys? are they any good.

It means I will have to relocate a little, but meh, its doable.

:D

If you want a Navy boy you'll have to do more than relocate. Can they even do woman, to man sex change?

Navy boys are women?

<checks>... Doesn't look like it from over here, Ducks.

But it does sound like you should work on getting men rather than large, old boys.

The Navy boys I've met have mostly been pretty shiftless -- hot, though. All in all, I'm very happy with the Marine I married. :D

I have to say that I am sorry that you don't want to give "the other team" a try. Our uniforms are much more comfortable. ;)

Um, LJ...where'd ya get that pic? That particular porn star would prefer you to Ducks. ;)

googled him right up. didna ken he was a gay porn star. does he have a big wang? brown hatter?

Not sure about the wang size, or if he's a top or bottom...the cover photo doesn't show very much, and I haven't had time to review the movie. :(

Ducks, does this mean you also intend to give up the production of suggestive photos? (Link goes to NSFW thread)

Oh hell no Steve, I'm still up for flashing me bits any chance I get :)

I was thinking that was LJ's screen saver, Blue ;)

Then have at it Girlie !!!

Though I reckon the honors at blowjob expertise come out about even between the genders -- a longish way of saying that any BJ that doesn't overdo with the teeth feels good.

did you say that you were in the Navy?

Often enough, yes. But curiously -- full disclosure here -- my Navy years were so blowjobless that I'm very hard pressed to remember any at all. Guess I'll just have to suck it up... etcetera...

Was RK right when he said something along the lines of...... attractive chicks without partners, are single for a reason.....?

A friend of mine (male) said something a long the lines of (and dont shoot the messenger here)...

......really attractive chicks are super high maintenance and too much trouble.

.....really ugly chicks are really insecure and high maintenance, so too much trouble.

....fairly attractive chicks are easy going and comfortable with themselves, they are the ideal partner here.

....when you see a seriously unattractive chick with a hot guy, you have to wonder whether she can suck start a harley, or let herself go when she *landed the big one*.


I guess I am just pondering the big picture here :) and generally feeling shitty with myself.

Damn... I wish you were closer Ducks. I could probably capitalize on your mood to take advantage of you.

hehe this belonged in the humor thread really. :)

You did leave out one though. How about fairly attractive chicks who don't know how to trust anymore so run from relationships.

I am torn between thinking this is healthy not to need someone and it really must be unhealthy for not needing anyone.

I am always puzzled at women who can go from one heart ache to another. Their need for love is so strong. If that 'need for love' came in a bottle I'd just take one every now and then and just go prowling for a night.

There is the other side you speak of, the "I don't need anyone, I'm perfectly happy and content with myself" yet we long for the bowls of popcorn, and a blanky, a movie, and someone to share it all with.

I too have never understood running into another relationship, another marriage, or whatever. Getting divorced was painful, who wants to set themselves up right away, just out of fear of being alone?

I take great pride in my ability to do it all on my own. But, I'm a human who does wonder if "that guy" is out there.

In the meantime, I guess I'll keep running, screaming, in the other direction. :p

IMO, usually a chick who is super hot on the outside has not had to develop anything substantial on the inside. For example, they can treat a boyfriend poorly, and if they break up, there's the next guy in line, thinking with his little head, ready to date the hot chick.

Maybe she's attractive in other ways. And don't underestimate the power of the suck. ;)

Don't feel shitty, we're here for you. :)

"Fear of being alone" doesn't always sum it up. Some people get their fulfillment out of taking care of other people. Being alone = being useless or on a more subconcious level being a bad person, because you're not able to give anything.

That makes sense. Good thing I'm not only independent, I'm selfish! ;)

I'm soooooooo getting back on the fucking horse this weekend :cool:

try a man first, ducks...if its been a while..it might be a little .....tight yet?

I remember you now...

I dont believe in doing things half heartedly :)

Oh, you mean that old adage that for every hot chick out there, there is some dude that is tired of her crap. :D

Ahuh. That's not a bit insulting to women. So, women who are very pretty are empty headed, or not worth bothering with? Sheesh. Can't win in this world. Either you're not pretty enough, or you're too pretty to bother with.

No, that's usually a claim of someone frustrated with women. There are plenty of good looking women (and men) worth a relationship. However, attractive women (like attractive men) have a much higher likelihood of being a void-of-personality-twat. I attribute it to the fact that people who are attractive get treated better. I don't think it's a conscious thing, but they get better jobs, better pay, and better opportunities. People want to please them more, whether to get in their pants or just because we love aesthetically pleasing things.

The real treat is someone who USED to be unattractive, so didn't grow up with the attitude that they are somehow better, and then BAM! she turns into super-fox.

Whenever I see an attractive girl like ducks who is having trouble with guys, I'm pretty sure she is choosing her guys for the wrong reasons. Maybe it's the uniform. Used to work for me years ago, but never fall for anyone who has attracted you with something that comes off (as opposed to goes off).

It should be pointed out that this guys name is Matthew Rush.
If you want to see more of him, check out any gay porn shop. He is VERY impressive.
He is also trying to be a legit actor. I saw him in a play in Boston. His acting needs work but I've seen worse. Plus he was naked in the play. Quite a body of work. ;-)

Some of the good ones to be with are the anti-social folks. Not the, 'oh god, I'm slitting my wrists etc' people but just the folks who go places to just read or what have you and they aren't there to be seen. The only people I have ever dated I met either while I wasn't paying attention, or I saw them reading something neat.

None of them have been bad to look at, either. :D

The people who cultivate unusual hobbies, but not such unusual hobbies as to be illegal, are very often worth knowing. They are -- not ordinary.

Creative Anachronists

Combat Pistol Competitors (need to look up any web presence for these -- one tends to think more of hardware with these people than software)

Buckskinners

Historical Recreationists/Reenactors

Survivalists that are politically agreeable with you -- mild paranoia can be a hobby if you play it right.

Artisans who make a living making oldfashioned goods -- coopered barrels, birchbark canoes...