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Divorce -- The Soundtrack
Music is universal.
I am especially sensitive to the lyrics of songs, sometimes it feels as if the radio or the stereo has come to life and is speaking directly to me, usually about what is most on my mind at the moment. Sometimes it speaks aloud what my subconscious cannot articulate. The stronger the feelings, the louder the voice. The cacophony these days is deafening. Here are the tunes (and lyrics) that reverberate in my head and my heart. Wipeout -- The Surfaris Quote:
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This one always gets to me:
Fleetwood Mac Landslide I took my love, I took it down Climbed a mountain and I turned around I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills till the landslide brought me down Oh, mirror in the sky What is love Can the child within my heart rise above Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides Can I handle the seasons of my life Well, Ive been afraid of changing cause Ive built my life around you But time makes you bolder Children get older Im getting older too Oh, take my love, take it down Climb a mountain and turn around If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills Well the landslide will bring it down If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills Well maybe the landslide will bring it down |
Hubby and I had a laugh over this song when our friend would come over, lamenting about his ex-wife, yet again. (they tried to get back together but he expected her to do all the work of repairing his infidelity...*rolls eyes*)
"She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mud Met a girl, thought she was grand fell in love, found out first hand went well for a week or two then it all came unglued in a trapped trip I can't grip never thought I'd be the one who'd slip then I started to realize I was living one big lie She fucking hates me trust she fucking hates me la la la love I tried too hard and she tore my feelings like I had none and ripped them away She was queen for about an hour after that shit got sour she took all I ever had no sign of guilt no feeling of bad, no In a trapped trip I can't grip never thought i'd be the one who'd slip then I started to realize I was living one big lie [Chorus] that's my story, as you see learned my lesson and so did she now it's over and i'm glad 'cause i'm a fool for all i've said [Chorus] la la la la la la la la la love Trust la la la la la la la la la love Trust and she tore my feelings like I had none she fucking hates me |
The Radiohead album 'OK Computer' always gets me. The song No Surpises, even now I can't listen to it. If I do I just...sob. That album was on my playlist during my most unhappy time. The last year and a half of the relationship was a slow death. To love someone and not be in love with them hurts. The overwhelming sense of guilt almost, but not quite overshadowed by feelings of resentment....which then takes you back to guilt. Feeling like you're one of the lost ones. I sometimes just sat on the edge of the couch, alone thinking "I want to go home" knowing I already was....and knowing it wasn't really home. I think I just wanted to be 10 again.
More than any other song, 'No Surprises' seemed to catch that mood for me. The lyrics alone don't show why...it was the combination of the lyrics and the melody and the singer's delivery. I'm sat here typing and even just thinking about that time and that song, playing it through in my head..I'm fighting tears. No Surprises A heart that's full up like a landfill, a job that slowly kills you, bruises that won't heal. You look so tired-unhappy, bring down the government, they don't, they don't speak for us. I'll take a quiet life, a handshake of carbon monoxide, with no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, Silent silence. This is my final fit, my final bellyache, with no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises please. Such a pretty house and such a pretty garden. No alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises please. |
Lyfe Jennings - The Phoenix
Goodbye Sometimes makin up is easier than breakin up We believe if we just fake it enough We can trick our selves into believing that we're still in love But in our harts we know that it's inevitable Though it's hard to let you go I know I must Sometimes memories just ain't enough Sometimes you out grow the ones you love Sometimes it's none of the above It's just the fact that people change No one's to blame There ain't nothin that stays the same So we sit around and cry Because neither one of us wants to be the first to say Goodbye Sometimes givin 2nd chances is easier than dealing with the fact that Once the trust is gone you could never get it back But your holdin on because your afraid of bein alone So here you are holdin on to somethin thats already gone And don't act like it's the first time you've heard it in this song Cause your heart done told you all along If your momma done showed you right from wrong No thing should hold you down this long There's no one to blame nothin stays the same So we sit around and cry because neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye So let me be the first to say...goodbye |
Living Colour--"Broken Hearts"
I see the fragments of the dreams I used to have And bits of aspiration lying in the sand The stained glass wall of love that I cannot see through Provides the only light here in my lonely room A breeze reminds me of the changing time and place A tear that takes forever rolls down your timeless face I hear that they say that broken hearts will mend But when they do they're never good as new I wish right now I could change it back I never meant to do the things I did to hurt you I never really thought that it would come to this Sometimes the things you lose are often the things you miss I see the reason for things I used to do They're all transparent now and so I see the truth I hear they say that broken hearts will mend But when they do they're never good as new I wish right now that I could change it back I know you don't believe but I care about you And I never meant to do those things I did to hurt you |
Your Good Thing (Is About To End) -- Lou Rawls
I don't have to beg you to hold me, Somebody else will. You don't have to love me when I want it, No, 'cause somebody else will. Some kind friends say you don't need it... But all the time they're trying to get it. Look out, your good thing is about to come to an end, Your real good thing is about to come to an end. All those nights I watched the four walls I did not have to watch them all alone When other girls said they wanted me, baby, I didn't have to tell them I was your very own You have all the love that I've got Even ice melts to water and gets hot... look out... Your good thing is about to come to an end, Your real good thing its about to end Getting myself back together Is gonna be a big problem I know, But when the right woman says she wants me, Boy, You can bet I won't tell her 'No' 'Cause your real good thing is about to come to an end Your real good thing, your good thing Baby Good thing, your good thing, your good thing Baby |
Pardon -- The Robert Cray Band
(Intro) I hear him when he weeps and moans I've even seen him shed tears For after taking those wedding vows That didn't last many years I've seen him walk the streets alone In the wind and rain cold and weak Help the poor man save his heart Take him in, make him neat And grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love The people talk when he passes by And they don't seem to care The pain he hides down in his soul That they don't want to share If he could turn this world around He could be like you and me Help him break these chains of love Help the man go free And grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love (guitar solo) And grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love He's guilty of nothing that I can think of, oh no So let's not convict him He just happens to be a prisoner of love So if you're out on that lonely street And by chance pass him by Don't rush to judgement or put him down Cause you could be that guy Someone could take your heart to school one day And that would surely change your plans And all the things you think you know Now you understand And grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love All you got to do is Grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon Grant him a pardon from love Grant him a pardon, baby Grant him a pardon from love Just grant him a pardon From love Won't ya (guitar outro) |
Always Suffering -- The Rolling Stones
(Jagger/Richards) Let's take a walk Just you and me And talk of days gone by Across the fields Under the trees Let's speak of you and I While the whole world Was wandering We walked a steady line When all our friends Were wavering We kept on trying Now we're always suffering Already lost Always suffering Already lost Remember when On summer days I would sing a lovers son How you would smile Shower me with praise And the sun shined on Now the rain is falling slow And the nights grow long And the train Cries out so hauntingly She is gone Now we're always suffering Already lost We're always suffering Already lost Please take these flowers Smell the perfume Let your soul come alive Let there be hope Hope in your heart That our love may revive For life is but a chance On a wind swept hill And the seeds of love Are swirling above Let them be still But we're always suffering We're already lost Always suffering Already lost |
Deuce, I have been reading your posts and havent commented, because I am on the other end of this trip. I have just served my ex....
Anyways, this is the ultimate break up song... Where I Stood - Missy Higgins I don't know what i've done Or if i like what i've begun But something told me to run And honey you know me it's all or none There were sounds in my head Little voices whispering That i should go and this should end Oh and i found my self listening Cause i don't know who i am, who i am without you All i know is that i should And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you All i know is that i should Cause she will love you more then i could She who dares to stand where i stood See i thought love was black and white That it was wrong or it was right But you aren't leaving without a fight And i think i am just as torn inside Cause i don't know who i am, who i am without you All i know is that i should And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you All i know is that i should Cause she will love you more then i could She who dares to stand where i stood And I wont be far from where you are if ever you should call You meant more to me then any one i've ever loved at all But you taught me how to trust myself And so i say to you, this is what i have to do. Cause i don't know who i am, who i am without you All i know is that i should And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you All i know is that i should Cause she will love you more then i could She who dares to stand where i stood She who dares to stand where i stood. |
My First Night Alone Without You -- Bonnie Raitt
There is an aching in my head From the bed I can’t get used to It’s these little hours in the dark, I dread As I spend my first night alone without you Honey, half of me has gone away With all the love I learned to cling to Tomorrow I’ll have to find another way To live the rest of my life alone without you You taught me how to live How to be myself And how to give Oh, but now it’s you Who’s given up on giving You’ve lost the thing, no one to teach Changing and now you’re out of reach And my life tonight just don’t seem worth living No, no I’ve been sitting learning how to read Cause back in school I never liked to It’s just one of those little things I’m gonna need As I put my life together, baby, without you |
My mother sang this song to me when I was a baby. I sang this song to my son when I held him, when he was a baby. I know the song is about two adults, but the chorus applies to anyone. And I hear it and it makes me cry.
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My sunshine is definitely gone.
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I am sorry, so sorry, so sad. Hard to say, harder to hear, hardest to forgive. Please accept my apologies. I offer them without any strings attached. I hope you accept them, they're yours to do with what you see fit.
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Looks Like Rain - Grateful Dead (Barlow/Weir)
I woke today, and felt your side of bed The covers were still warm where you'd been layin' You were gone, my heart was filled with dread You might not be sleeping here again It's all right, 'cause I love you And that's not gonna change Run me round, make me hurt again and again But I'll still sing you love songs Written in the letters of your name And brave the storm to come For it surely looks like rain Did you ever waken to the sound of street cats making love And guess from their cries you were listening to a fight Well you know, hate's just the last thing they're thinking of They're only trying to make it through the night I only want to hold you, I don't want to tie you down Or fence you in the lines I might have drawn It's just that I have gotten used to having you around My landscape would be empty if you were gone It's all right, 'cause I love you And that's not gonna change Run me round, make me hurt again and again But I'll still sing you love songs Written in the letters of your name And brave the storm to come For it surely looks like rain Whoa, looks like rain Turning grey and it surely looks like rain Whoa, surely looks like rain Oh, looks like rain Whole world turning grey and it looks like rain Oh, looks like rain Oh, here comes the rain Turning grey and it looks like rain |
Woke up with a heavy head
And I thought about leavin town I could have died if I wanted to- Slipped over the edge and drowned But, oh no baby, I wont give up so easy Too many tire tracks in the sands of time Too many love affairs that stop on a dime I think its time to make some changes round here Yeah, Im gonna tear it up Gonna trash it up Im gonna round it up Gonna shake it up Oh, no, baby, I will not lie down Im brave enough to be crazy Im strong enough to be weak I see all these heroes with feet of clay Whose mighty ships have sprung a leak And I want you to tell me darlin Just what do you believe in now? Well, cmon over here baby You bout to gimme a heart attack I wanna wrap my lovin arms Around the small of your back Yeah, and Im gonna pull you, pull you, pull you Pull you right up close to me Yeah were gonna tear it up We gonna trash it up Gonna round it up Gonna shake it up Oh, no no no, I will not lie down Turn this thing around I will not go quietly I will not lie down I will not go quietly I will not lie down I will not go quietly I will not lie down I will not lie down Well, dont you ever get lonely? Dont you ever get down? Dont you ever get tired Of all the wicked tongues in this town? Oh, baby, I just wanna take you away from here I aint no tiger I aint no little lamb Suppose you tell me mama Who do you think I think I am? And ooh baby, dont you give a damn? --Don Henley |
Thought of you as my mountain top
Thought of you as my peak Thought of you as everything I've had but couldn't keep I've had but couldn't keep Sometimes I feel so happy Sometimes I feel so sad Sometimes I feel so happy But mostly you just make me mad Baby you just make me mad Linger on, your pale blue eyes Linger on, your pale blue eyes... --Velvet Underground And soon enough it will be... I used to love her, but I had to kill her I used to love her, but I had to kill her I had to put her Six feet under And I can still hear her complain I used to love her, but I had to kill her I used to love her, but I had to kill her I knew I miss her So I had to keep her She's buried right in my back yard I used to love her, but I had to kill her I used to love her, but I had to kill her She bitched so much She drove me nuts And now I'm happier this way I used to love her, but I had to kill her I used to love her, but I had to kill her I had to put her Six feet under And I can still hear her complain --GNR |
Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone
Judy left the same time Why was he holding her hand When he's supposed to be mine It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to You would cry too if it happened to you Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night Leave me alone for a while 'Till Johnny's dancin' with me I've got no reason to smile It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to You would cry too if it happened to you [Lead Break] Judy and Johnny just walked through the door Like a queen with her king Oh what a birthday surprise Judy's wearin' his ring It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to You would cry too if it happened to you |
and one of my faves...
i spend my time thinking about you and i know, i should think less. im caring about you girl, i care a whole lot less. i give my self to you and now im so less. im always thinking about you yeah. i think a whole lot less, a whole lot less, a whole lot less, a whole lot less. i spend my time thinking about you and i know, i should think less. i`m caring about you girl, i care a whole lot less. i give my self to you and now im so less. im always thinking about you yeah. i think a whole lot less, a whole lot less, a whole lot less, a whole lot less. |
Love Hurts (Everly Brothers, Nazereth, others)
Love hurts, love scars, Love wounds, and mars, Any heart, not tough, Or strong, enough To take a lot of pain, Take a lot of pain Love is like a cloud Holds a lot of rain Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts I'm young, I know, But even so I know a thing, or two I learned, from you I really learned a lot, Really learned a lot Love is like a flame It burns you when its hot Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts Some fools think of happiness Blissfulness, togetherness Some fools fool themselves I guess They're not foolin' me I know it isn't true, I know it isn't true Love is just a lie, Made to make you blue Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts Ooh,ooh love hurts |
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. And she's always gone to long. Anytime she goes away. Wonder this time where she's gone. wonder if she's gone to stay. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. And this house just ain't no home. Anytime she goes away. I know x 16 Gotta leave the young thing alone There ain't no sunshine when she's gone Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. Only darkness every day. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. And this house just ain't no home. Anytime she goes away. Anytime she goes away. Anytime she goes away. Anytime she goes away. |
Deuce, my song was about getting over and getting on. All Divorce Soundtracks need one (or more) of those. Think about it...that point will come. Hope all is well!
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Poignant
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True
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Maybe it is true, but I always thought this line:
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Heh heh, kind of like how I think the Pina Colada song is way messed up! Or "You are so beautiful...to me" sounds like he's implying "even if everyone else thinks you're an ugly cow."
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If you wake up and dont want to smile,
If it takes just a little while, Open your eyes and look at the day, Youll see things in a different way. Dont stop, thinking about tomorrow, Dont stop, itll soon be here, Itll be, better than before, Yesterdays gone, yesterdays gone. Why not think about times to come, And not about the things that youve done, If your life was bad to you, Just think what tomorrow will do. Dont stop, thinking about tomorrow, Dont stop, itll soon be here, Itll be, better than before, Yesterdays gone, yesterdays gone. All I want is to see you smile, If it takes just a little while, I know you dont believe that its true, I never meant any harm to you. Dont stop, thinking about tomorrow, Dont stop, itll soon be here, Itll be, better than before, Yesterdays gone, yesterdays gone. Dont you look back, Dont you look back. |
glatt:
It *is* true. It *is* messed up, and more than a little. But I have done it and, perhaps up to today, would continue to do it, and without complaint, because all that comfort he'd give up was in service of a greater comfort, the pleasing of his woman. No more messed up than spending his very last dime, really. I guess that's what's messed up. I guess that's how *I'm* messed up. I have a set of priorities that don't match her priorities and don't match reality, since they're not sustainable or attainable. Yeah, I have problems. |
Bruce, you rock!
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Wish Someone Would Care -- Irma Thomas
Cry, cry Sitting home alone, thinkin about my past Wonderin how I made it, and how long it's gonna last Success has come to lots of them, and failure's always there Time, time waits for no one and I wish, how I wish someone would care Some folks think you're happy, when you wear your smile What about your tribulations, and all, all of your trials Smiles, smiles hide a lots a things The good, the bad, the hurt, all of this goes too And I wish, how I wish, how I wish someone would care I wish someone would care Don't you think someone should care? Ah don't you think someone should care? Sit down and think about yourself Ah don't you think someone should care? MMMM don't you think someone should care? Ah don't you think someone should care? |
Stardust -- Willie Nelson (Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, et al)
And now the purple dusk of twilight time Steals across the meadows of my heart High up in the sky the little stars climb Always reminding me that were apart You wander down the lane and far away Leaving me a song that will not die Love is now the stardust Of yesterday The music Of the years Gone by Sometimes I wonder why I spend The lonely nights Dreaming of a song. The melody haunts my reverie And I am once again with you. When our love was new, and each kiss an inspiration. But that was long ago, and now my consolation Is in the stardust of a song. Beside the garden wall, when stars are bright You are in my arms The nightingale tells his fairy tale Of paradise where roses grew. Though I dream in vain, in my heart you will remain My stardust melody The memory of loves refrain. |
Dedicated, with much love, to my beautiful strong proud wife:
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One minute:
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Next minute.
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Bill, you are killin me.
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killin me...
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usin me.
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I gotta change the playlist...
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Turn Me On -- Norah Jones
Used To Be My Girl -- O'Jays Just My Imagination -- The Rolling Stones (cover) ... It's not working. ... |
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