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-   -   Are Mommy and Daddy Terrorists? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=14926)

xoxoxoBruce 07-29-2007 01:18 AM

Are Mommy and Daddy Terrorists?
 
The Center for Rational Debate website has a page called Kids' Corner.
Quote:

If you want to make sure that your parents aren't terrorists, follow this simple checklist, and ask yourself if your parents do any of these things:

1) Do they seem excessively concerned about the environment?
2) Do they say bad things about President Bush, the Iraq War, Republicans, or conservatives?
3) Do they seem excessively concerned about poverty or poor people?
4) Are they friends with any flamboyant homosexuals?
5) Have they ever told you that gay people are okay?
6) Do they say bad things about Jesus or Christianity?
7) Do they praise Mohammed or Islam?

If you said "yes" to any of the questions above, your parents are probably terrorists. Now is not the time to panic. Report them to the FBI and the Department of Homeland security before they find out that you've been to this website and kill you. If you do this quickly enough, the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security can step in and save your life.
Believe it or not, there is actually more at the link.

Aliantha 07-29-2007 01:50 AM

What a bunch of crap. I can't believe that's meant to be taken seriously.

xoxoxoBruce 07-29-2007 02:05 AM

You don't live with your parents, do you.

DanaC 07-29-2007 04:47 AM

That's a joke site. That is parody. (it is isn't it?)

fargon 07-29-2007 04:55 AM

What right wing corn holer cam up with that shit? I am about as conservative as you come, and I can't believe this shit.

xoxoxoBruce 07-29-2007 05:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 369237)
That's a joke site. That is parody. (it is isn't it?)

I hope so.
On the front page is;
7/26 Cheney has a right to privacy
7/26 God supports the Iraq War
7/20 Mother Teresa ruined a generation.
7/20 Morality should not be universal.
7/17 The Iraq War is saving lives.
7/15 Global warming is good for you.
7/12 America deserved 9/11.
7/07 Gun control caused the Virginia Tech tragedy.
7/07 Immigrants are trying to steal your job.
7/01 We should nuke Iran.
6/24 Environmentalism hurts the economy.
6/17 The handicapped are taking over America.

piercehawkeye45 07-29-2007 06:04 AM

My guess is that it is a joke and I really hope I'm right.

Quote:

How did you become so wise? How do you stay so rational all the time?

-Does a good painter "try" to paint? Does God "try" to be good? Does a writer "try" to write? No, of course not. A painter doesn't "try" to paint, he simply paints. In a similar fashion, I don't "try" to be rational; I simply am.
Edit- It is a joke

Quote:

From: Luke

Dear Jesus,

If people who don't believe in you and God are so wrong, why don't you just burn them alive? Or have some magical horses come in and rip them apart? Lethal injection is fun! Or you could pick them up and throw them off a cliff. Maybe you could put them all in a hole and take control of a missile and nuke them. Anyways, just wanted to know why they aren't dead yet.


Your local Anti-Atheist,
Me


PS: You could also have an Atheist convention on a ship and ram their ship into an iceberg.worked pretty well for the Titanic.


Jesus Responds:

It is obvious that you have been reading your bible. Scripture states quite clearly that the only thing that calms God's uncontrollable rage is the sight of severed heads:

Numbers 25:4
"And the LORD said unto Moses, 'Take all the heads of the people, and hang
them up before the LORD against the sun, that the fierce anger of the
LORD may be turned away from Israel.'"
If God decapitated people himself, it would eliminate the need for faith. Feel free to massacre some atheists. Hopefully you'll kill enough of them to calm God down. Otherwise, look forward to more Hurricane Katrinas and 9/11s.

Your pal,
Jesus

DanaC 07-29-2007 06:14 AM

Well thank fuck for that. That we even had to ask the question is a little scary.

fargon 07-29-2007 06:28 AM

has anyone tried those phone# on that link?

Sundae 07-29-2007 08:27 AM

Forget Mummy and Daddy, I'm now worried that I'm a terrorist!

wolf 07-29-2007 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fargon (Post 369238)
What right wing corn holer cam up with that shit? I am about as conservative as you come, and I can't believe this shit.

You can pretty much bet it's a left-wing cornholer that came up with that shit.

TheMercenary 07-29-2007 10:46 AM

Pretty funny. Sites like this that are hard core right-wing are no different than the hard core left-wing sites. Both are full of shit. Both pander to their target audience. Both tell half-truths and outright lies to get readership and hits. And people who like to read that crap get off on it. Nothing new in the world of the net. And the beat goes on...

yesman065 07-29-2007 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 369258)
You can pretty much bet it's a left-wing cornholer that came up with that shit.

:D

The part that gave it away for me was the very end
"...before they find out that you've been to this website and kill you."


C'mon people. OK admit it - who didn't have their coffee before posting?

DanaC 07-29-2007 11:16 AM

Quote:

Pretty funny. Sites like this that are hard core right-wing are no different than the hard core left-wing sites. Both are full of shit. Both pander to their target audience. Both tell half-truths and outright lies to get readership and hits. And people who like to read that crap get off on it. Nothing new in the world of the net. And the beat goes on...
Nothing new to the world of publishing/printing/new media etc. It's political satire, it has a very long tradition.

Usup 07-29-2007 11:26 AM

Stop taking your anger out on everybody elses parents and except your own.

DanaC 07-29-2007 11:34 AM

Usup, I have no idea what you mean by that, but welcome to the Cellar :P

Now there are two people with 'Kavkaz United' as their usertitles, my curiosity is peaked, what does it refer to?

yesman065 07-29-2007 11:36 AM

"Accept your own" or "parents except your own" - you lost me.
(I know - its not that hard)

Oh and welcome to the cellar

Usup 07-29-2007 12:10 PM

woopsy daisy. "Accept your own" is what I meant. I thank you for the welcoming corrections. Let the party begin.

Usup 07-29-2007 12:22 PM

Hey DanaC,
I changed my user title by the way.
Kavkaz United refers to a region under Russia called Kavkaz where we originate from. The word United means well "united".
I've known Rexmons my whole life and he told me about the cellar.

DanaC 07-29-2007 12:54 PM

Ahh. I went googling and there was a Kavkaz United football team. I had wondered if that's what it was, cause so many football teams are 'united'.

Usup 07-29-2007 01:02 PM

Nah, we dont do football. We do Russians. ;)

Clodfobble 07-29-2007 01:42 PM

Uh. Yeah, it's a joke. :rolleyes:

Quote:

How Can Jesus Edit a Website?
It's a lot easier than you would think. The Center for Rational Debate has a very close relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. When we first started this website, we all got together and prayed to Jesus. He did so much for us that He seemed like the perfect choice for our editor-in-chief position. After all, who could possibly turn down an applicant that lists "Lord and Savior" and "source of all knowledge and morality" as previous job responsibilities! Soon Jesus responded and accepted the position. The office was overjoyed.

Before an article is published on our website, I grab some wine and crackers and pretend they are the blood and guts of Christ to whet my appetite. Once my fervor reaches the point of no return, I devour the body of Christ like a rabid dog. This ensures that I am ready for divine communication. I open the prayer waves with Jesus by thanking Him for all that He has done for us. Soon a voice inside my head tells me whether or not the article is ready for publication. Sometimes the writing just isn't up to snuff and Jesus sends it back to the Center for Rational Debate for further editing. Other times, the article is given the thumbs up for publication.

yesman065 07-29-2007 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fargon (Post 369247)
has anyone tried those phone# on that link?

WOW - the phone #'s and the link are the real deal! Now thats scary.

Rexmons 07-29-2007 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Usup (Post 369297)
I've known Rexmons my whole life and he told me about the cellar.

I've never met this man before in my life. ;)

bluecuracao 07-29-2007 06:48 PM

OMG, that website is hilarious. Don't miss the hate mail!

yesman065 07-29-2007 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rexmons (Post 369328)
I've never met this man before in my life. ;)

Then how did you know he was a man?

xoxoxoBruce 07-29-2007 09:26 PM

Because non of the cells allow women.

Rexmons 07-30-2007 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 369413)
Because non of the cells allow women.


...thats a beheadin'

xoxoxoBruce 07-30-2007 12:23 PM

I'd have expected that.

deadbeater 08-06-2007 05:58 PM

That site is so obviously pro-atheist and liberal.

bluecuracao 08-06-2007 06:01 PM

I think you should send them some hate mail.

xoxoxoBruce 08-06-2007 06:03 PM

Send Mom & Dad some too.... before they kill you.

yesman065 08-06-2007 06:19 PM

My mom sent me some - and the link to this site!

xoxoxoBruce 08-06-2007 06:20 PM

Wow! She really hates you.

yesman065 08-06-2007 06:26 PM

yeah no shit - mom sent me to the cellar - you'all blame her - it wasn't my fault!


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