Gifts
 

My stepdaughter's 9th birthday is coming up, and we are at a complete loss as to what to get her. Any suggestions?

I know you're going to ask, "What sort of things does she like?" and the answer is nothing in particular that we can determine. 99% of the time she fiddles with the baby's toys rather than any of the tons of things in her room. She wants to watch whatever the other kids watch, wants to do whatever everyone else wants to do. She is the ultimate people-pleaser and will not express an opinion even if pressed. She does like to read manga, and we've gotten several for her, but we need to get her more than just books.

So what would you get a 9-year-old girl you knew nothing about?

Pogs!

No, wait. I might not be the right person to ask.

a trampoline

Books.

Stuff without batteries.

Craft-y cut it up and glue it together kits.

If she's attuned to the baby, maybe a baby doll of her own. I'm not sterotyping here, I'm trying to read your vibe. I saw a commercial this weekend of a "Mommy make me better" baby or something like that. Brings out the inner nurturer. The dolly has red leds behind her translucent cheeks. They glow when she has a "fever" and dim when the "medicine" is administered. The same for the heart shaped boo-boo on her wrist when covered with a band aid.

A musical instrument.

A special trip somewhere--the zoo, the museum, the science center.

A bike. I remember fondly my first two wheeled bike. My world expanded dramatically when I had my own "wheels".

A ball to play catch with. A glove. Not a baseball whiz yet? How about one of those kits that have hook covered paddles for the hands and a fuzzy ball. Velcro catch. Veeerrrrry easy to succeed. Or a throw toy called a foxtail--a ball with a long (three feet) fabric tail. If you miss late on the ball, maybe you'll trap the tail.

A kite.

Clothes. I love the sons and the daughter (and nephews and nieces) equally, but you have to admit, the girls are a lot more fun to decorate.

Jewelry, maybe a special pendant or earrings? Can she get pierced ears yet, Mom?

I could go on and on. I love kids. :)

My first reaction is to go into an independent toyshop and ask them - but I don't know whether these are prevalent in your area. Independent (proprietor owned) shops usually get feedback from parents and children and so can give you real feedback.

If she usually fiddles with the baby's toys I'd give her something small that uses imaginative play. She may still be interested in real toys and creating her own stories. Something like Sylvanian Families or Polly Pocket - as long as it's complicated, not just a toy figure.

One of the issues I find both working here and with friends/ family is that people assume that children grow up so quickly - and then complain how grown up they are. Girls up to 13 still appreciate small, delicate, intricate toys. And away from everyone else, a 9 year old will definitely role play. If you really think she is worldly wise and will despise these, Barbie is still a safe bet - again, role playing but with the fashion and lifestyle edge. Same with Girl's World (do they still do that? a head you apply make-up to and arrange her hair)

If she's a real people pleaser, give her a wonderful book. She'll read it to please you and you'll have given her a gift for life. I started to really rate books at 10 (as in books I will reread now). Something like Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House in Big Woods.

Hope you find something she enjoys.

--Shoes from Zappos--some cool Converse perhaps?

--take her shopping for clothes if she likes that

--some "grown up" coloring books and a set of really cool markers. Dover makes some really nice ones, and there are educational ones on animals, anatomy, etc. that are fantastic.

--an ipod if you want to spend some bucks

(I'm not trying to shoot you down here, I'm just trying to give you more insight into her personality for additional help...)

She has about 6 or 7 of them, never opens them.

This is a possibility. She's only with us for a weekend at a time though, are there negative repercussions if the baby doll has a fever for two weeks? ;)

We have a nice keyboard, and she takes piano lessons at her mother's house but hates them. Maybe a recorder (you know, the kid-friendly flute-like things) or something though.

Her main birthday present last year was a trip to a local water park, and the year before that was a special trip out to see a play with her grandmother.

She's had one since she was about 5, but still doesn't know how to ride it (doesn't have one at her mom's.) We work on teaching her a little bit each time she's here, but she's generally terrified of falling over and it's hard when you don't get regular practice.

The velcro paddles are a possibility. She has a foxtail ball (and it never gets played with... notice a pattern yet? :)) Easy-to-catch would definitely be a requirement, she's not terribly athletically inclined. She's complained before that at camp they don't let her "sit and relax" enough.

She has two.

Unfortunately she views clothes as a simple necessity, not an enjoyable thing. Her relatives all give her clothes and she has told us (in private, she's a polite child!) that she doesn't understand it.

She has pierced ears, and probably a half dozen each of earrings and necklaces, but she never wears them. She just keeps the same one pair of studs in her ears at all times.

Please do! I love kids too, and I'm usually the one who comes up with really awesome gifts, but this kid is just so introverted and really hard to figure out!

I'm not sure I'm ready for one of those huge monstrosities in my backyard, and the little round ones suck.

At last count she has about a dozen Barbies and probably a similar number of Polly Pockets. She does play with them on occasion, but I kind of feel like giving her more of them is a cop-out? Maybe I'm trying too hard to expand her horizons though.

I was about her age when my mom got me a large and complex dollhouse kit where you painted and assembled the whole thing yourself. I really liked it once it was done, but I admit I got lazy and made her put most of it together. Maybe I could find something like that.

We've thought about one of those large, really detailed posters, I forget what they're called, where the inked part is actually fuzzy like black velvet? It would take her forever to finish, but that might be part of the appeal. Her Lite-Brite has been one of the few artsy toys that's retained its fun for her.

money?

Get her a motorcycle and you could use it during the week.

My daughter always liked Barbies, Polly Pocket, etc. at that age. (I prefer Polly Pocket myself. The accessories, being soft and flexible, are much less painful when you step on them in the carpet than the Barbie shoes etc.) But sounds like that's all tapped out.

My daughter suggests dress-up clothes. She also likes Tamagotchis.

How about a razor scooter? A pair of roller skates?

How much are you looking to spend?

Is she the kind of kid that will do things with other people, or does she prefer to play by herself?

Admittedly, I was an usual kid, but a Hoyle's Complete Rules of Card Games (which includes solitaire games as well as games for two or more players) and two decks of cards was good for me for hours upon hours of amusement.

I collected Breyer Horses ... they're still around, but you might want to avoid dust-ables.

I was looking at the amazon.com listings for 8-11 years olds, but honestly, nothing really stood out. Scrabble is timeless, but a poor choice without someone willing to play with her.

I have four very expensive Native American Flutes, but I keep one of these in the trunk of the car in the event of a flute emergency. These plastic flutes have pretty good tone for the price, and they are very durable. It's musical, requires only a small amount of musical skill, but has a high coolness factor. It can reinforce a lot of the skills she's learning in piano, but without the drudgery associated with piano practice (I took piano, and a bunch of other kinds of music lessons, so I know what that's like).

When my daughter turned 9, instead of a birthday party, I took her and a few (3) of her friends to the mall to one of those "glamour shots" places.

The girls had fun getting made up (It was age appropriate). they each had a few outfits (supplied by the photographer) and we took group shots and individuals for each of the girls. It was not expensive (trust me - back in the day I didn't have an expansive budget) and my daughter and her friends had great take aways.

We still have the one large picture of my daughter hanging in the living room.

Yeah, maybe instead of giving her a thing you can do something together. A camping trip with one or two of her friends, a movie and ice cream, a day where "she is the boss" and decides what is for dinner, what movie to rent, when bedtime is, horseback riding...

The RC Dragonfly! My 9yo daughter adores hers -she saved up to buy it. We all do in fact. I think I posted about it somewhere, wait.....

toys are hard, you know? they're expensive, and they usually have such a short shelf life. Kids get bored with them, break them, grow out of them.

Just like in Toy Story.

(sniff)

I always liked the Anti-Coloring books my mother bought me. It had things in it like what does a skunk smell look like or This clown has learned how to become invisible. We can only see a circle. What part of the clown do you think this circle is?

It got you started, but if could turn into whatever your imagination wanted. No worries about lines or what it's "supposed" to look like. Just being creative, something uniquely hers that she can show off.

Well, Steve beat me to it, but I think a Razor scooter would be good. They are easier to ride than a bike, and once you learn how to balance on one, riding a bike is pretty easy. They are a lot of fun too. Our 5 year old son became an ace on the scooter, and when we gave him a bike, he just got on and rode it.

The dragonfly is a neat toy.
Lil'G went to a build-a-bear store when her friend had a b'day. They really enjoyed it.

Thanks for the ideas, everyone! We ended up getting her a fiction book about a girl who trains dragons (based mostly on the fact that it is liberally sprinkled with pictures and has a holographic cover, so she's more likely to start it), a big fuzzy velvet poster with a set of markers (darn thing only comes with 5 colors, you can't make great art with that!), this little fake stained glass project thing where you fill in the frame with different colored goos and let it dry, and an RC dragonfly. :)

And the razor scooter is on the short list for Christmas if she still hasn't mastered the bike by the end of this summer.

lucky girl!

I should get commission.... :lol:

I think you should send me one!

my brother has one of those - love it! so much fun! my daughter is turning 8 this week - i'm SO getting her the dragonfly!

She's done Jester - all purchased as per this post

i know - i just caught it

Shame you deleted - they were good ideas

Hey, Christmas will be here before you know it, put those ideas back jester!

GASP! The "C" word! It's only June .. . . . (wails!)

SIX grandchildren!

:santa:

Anyway, here is my Christmas wish list for the girl the same age:

jewelry (for any girl's wish list, always)
purse
accessories
books (on any gift list of mine)
notebooks/journal
buffy stuff (She and her mother are into Buffy, so I got them shirts from Cafe Press)
Discovery Girls (a girl's magazine, 'cause her mom said no more books!)
Thrillville video game (which she specifically asked for)
shoes

also, the Oh Yuck books (Oh, Yuck, the Encyclopedia of Everything Nasty, and there's a history one, too) are great for that age, girl or boy. I can't read 'em (too gross) but the kids love 'em!

The beauty of the dragonfly is that both sexes love kit, so it doesn't matter if it's a girly girl, a tomboy or even a boy (:lol:)... whatever
damn I really should work for them.....

Hebe (9yoD) chose that as her Science Fair "reward" book. She loves it.

also a good boy and girl gift

i had suggested a journal for her to write in - girls at that age may enjoy things like that (diary) also, giving a gift card. most of our credit unions around here offer "VISA" gift cards that can be used anywhere. obviously these make great "C" gifts.

I'm thinking like Big V.

An instrument, or clothes and jewelry.

Beestie has great ideas too and SD's idea about polly pockets.

Games

A party! most definatly.

Maybe at a roller rink even with pizza and party hats and glow bracelets.

Or a garden party with a pinata of course! Make sure the stuff inside is ultra cool to make her cool.

The trouble with parties is, they require friends. And to put it bluntly, she has none--in this city. She's effectively only here 2 days a month, the rest of the time she lives in Houston with her mother. She will have a fun birthday party with her school friends in Houston, rest assured, but here it's just us and some relatives from this side of her family.

then I suggest making a princess castle out of some pretty fabric to hang from the ceiling. Inside there is a small sitting place..perhaps funky chunky kids jewelry, a tiara, a mirror with lights all around. Even lights on the outside of the space.

I'm thinking since she isn't there that much then maybe to create a very special place just for her. More than presents it's the exaulted level on her birthday to a position of a very special person? plus little girly girls love that kind of thing. If she isn't that girly you could modify it to whatever she is into. Like zoo animals and have the tent part be jungle motif and fill it with stuffed animals and rubber snakes. see?

I am thinking theme fort or princess castle made from a simple fabric and filling it up inside to make a special place just for her.

?

What's your budget?

I still say a Dragonfly rocks.

Hebe got a Nintendo DS whe she turned 10 (from all her grandparents combined -we don't do big present spending. She adores it, but it's not exactly high up on the educational value scale.

Maybe you could invite some of her friends from her home town to come out and visit with her and have an elongated sleepover party?

You forget, we got her the dragonfly on your recommendation last year. :) She loved it, BTW.

The thing about her friends from Houston is, their mothers are at least semi-friends with her mother, and thus... not going to be fans of us.

I know, I'm a big Negative Nelly, always shooting down everyone's ideas. :)

OK I blasted past all the replies and sorry if someone already posted this, but the first thing Inoticed is that you mentioned she has tons of stuff in her room.

W/o getting all pop psych on you there is a good book called something like the five love languages. the gist of it is that everyone expresses and perceives love in a different way. For example, some people may feel most loved when they get a gift and someone else may feel loved when you spend time with them or another may feel loved when you talk with them.

Personally, I don't really care about getting presents. They're ok, but they don't really blow my skirt up. I'd rather go out and do something fun, have an adventure, stuff like that.

My wife likes me to listen to her with rapt attention. That makes her feel like I really love her. She'd rather I do that than have a big celebration and presents on her birthday.

Maybe what your daughter would like for her birthday isn't something that can be bought.

OK I read all the posts and this time I noticed that the thread is almost a year old so the good news is her 10th birthday is coming up. But I keep seeing that this girl doesn't seem like a material girl. (sorry) As for no local friends, maybe she isn't into that either. I'd say read that five love languages book, they guy wrote a version about kids as well. They are quick reads, give you some ideas and small insights. They aren't life changing or anything but I found them helpful at least in realizing that not everyone experiences the feeling of being loved the same way.

Oh, definitely. She's not into material things much at all. And that's fine, we like to spend the time we have with them actually interacting with them, rather than sending them off to play with stuff by themselves. But she wants to like things--she has clearly and specifically expressed jealousy at how much her brother likes his toys. She doesn't want his toys, mind you, she wants something that she will like as much as he likes his Transformers. What we need to do long-term is help her accept that it's okay to just enjoy the things that make her happy, but she's still too competitive for that so far. She literally would not want a fun day out doing something if it means her brother will see her get no "things" for her birthday. Sibling rivalry does not even begin to describe it. To be honest, that's one of the subconscious reasons she's going to love the toaster that makes pictures--because she'll like it herself to a reasonable degree, but also because her brother will want pictures on his toast too, and she will be thrilled to allow him, because it will be an acknowledgement from him that this is a cool thing she has.

This whole dance we try to do backfired over Christmas, however: one of the things we got her was a little remote-control car, because A.) she liked the remote-control dragonfly so much, and B.) Minifob loved chasing the thing around in the store, so it would very much fit into her enjoyment of playing with him. She would have loved it, I know she would... except it turns out her younger brother already has the exact same toy in Houston. So she hated it.

Yeah that is complex. I suppose it's out of the question to have a birthday for her w/o her younger bro?

Some friends of ours had a party at an indoor climbing wall. You know how to do that right?

Well, good luck, but if she can spend a brother-less day that may be the best present of all. (especially if she can watch his face as she says neener neener as you all drive away to have FUN.)

Sorry, I forgot you did get the dragonfly. Hmmm..... One of those lockable journals? they seem to be doing the rounds at girls parties here

Not that I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth--not that you're a horse, either!--but the whole reason this thread got resurrected was because I posted in the "making you happy" thread that we've found several solid gifts for this year. So any further work coming up with suggestions will only benefit me come December.








...and her aunt got her a lockable journal for Christmas. :)