Today I was called "bloody snotty" at work
 

I work in a clothing and accessories shop, with most goods selling for around the $50 mark. In walks mother and 2 year old child, mother starts to try on slippers, child moves around fiddling with things. I see her taking childrens' goods off a display and politely say to her "Please don't do that." Mother takes an interest, gets the child away from the display, returns to her slippers. A little later child marches behind the sales counter, right beside me, and proceeds to stuff paper into a storage pigeonhole containing $40 leather gloves. I say "Don't do that, it's not for rubbish you know" keeping my voice pleasant. The child is not bothered and certainly not scared by me; the mother goes apeshit. "Go easy on her she's only two! In fact you I won't buy any slippers here if you're going to be so bloody snotty about it!" shoves slippers back at me and marches out.
So ... should I have addressed the parent ("Please stop you child from doing that") or the child? Was I snotty?

Mothers can be very possessive even when their children are in the wrong. I have heard my wife say more than once that she has overreacted to a situation involving my son. Most tend to respond well to positive instruction towards their children rather than negative. Don't get me wrong. I don't think you did anything wrong here. But, since you are dealing with strangers and their children, it would be best to try distraction tactics rather than trying to correct the child.

She wasn't going to buy the slippers anyway.

You should have punched her square in the nose and said:

"That makes two of us."

she should have been paying attention to her kid - not just the shoes.

My Brit friend says bloody is far more rude in the UK than the US.

Given that, I'd probably have told her that her language and attitude was more harmful to her child than polite correction from me.

Working in shops here, with the same actions and words on her part, the bosses would expect me to apologize. I'd tell them to shove the job.

That's why I don't work retail.

In an Arnold Schwarzenegger/Rainier Wolfcastle voice:
 

She was projecting, she was the bloody snot. She should have been watching her kid. You did fine.

Sorry. But that is an almost trivial example of problems directly traceable to a parent. In this story, rumored is that some parents of 'lawyered up' kids want to sue the homeowner - who originally was not going to sue anyone. The jumper was rumored to be a heavy drug user and somehow repeatedly was not prosecuted. Discipline having been such a problem that kids even have assigned seats in the cafeteria.

Haddonfield teens going to extremes

What makes this column especially interesting? If it were not for the columnist, then these many stories would remain unreported. Some adults successfully protect their image rather than admit to problems.

I have no idea why the event and that parent even bothered you for one minute. It does not matter what she thinks. You did you job. Nothing more need be said. However think about the homeowner on Maple Street who is even blamed by some for being he victim.

That's an entirely different thing. When you have Michael Myers chasing you around you do what you need to do.

When the kid comes behind the counter, just pretend you don't see them and accidentally step on them. Guaranteed to distract them from their intended mischief.

I used to work in a DIY store and parents were a nightmare they would let their kids run around treating the place like an adventure playground.
One day a kid of around 3 was opening and closing a door of a folding door display and the boxes of packed doors were inside the display and there was a chance this kid could have hurt herself.
I took her hand off the door handle and whispered to her that the store goblin lived in one of the boxes and if she woke him up she'd be eaten,never seen a kid run for her mother so fast,I was laughing about that for days..Some parents have no clue

I don't think you were snotty at all, limey--mom should have appreciated your attention and pleasant tone, if she wasn't going to watch her child closely herself. Shops can be dangerous for little kids whose parents let them do whatever they want.

We had a small child in our store who was shaking a rack, while his parent stood right next to him doing nothing to stop him. The rack was coming loose, so out of alarm I said sharply, "DON'T do that!" I think I scared both of them, but that was a lot better than having a hurt kid on our hands. :headshake

No snottyness there at all Limey!! Good on you I say.

I've tried soooo many different tactics with clients kids its not funny.

I agree with be-bop, scare tactics usually work (if the parents arent interested), so long as the parents dont hear you telling their kids something awful might happen to them :D

We had a little bugger picking up handfuls of rocks and piffing them willy-nilly in the yard the other day, I got a dirty look from Mummy when I asked him not to do that because he would damage the cars. I really only said it to let her know that SHE should be doing something about it.

85% of child behavior problems are directly traceable to top parents!

A very restrained response I would say on your part Limey. I would have told the mother to police up her spawn or I'm putting the child in the trash compactor. Of course like others have said, that is why I don't work in retail either.

Some parents have no respect. I wouldn't waste any time worrying about the stupid twat if I were you limey. ;)

We get the same, Limey. Especially being a nursery store - there are often older brothers and sisters in tow when parents come in to buy things for the baby.

Unless it involves actual damage I turn a blind eye because it's not my shop and I hate confrontation. We've had a child ram a £60 ride-on toy into the legs of a £600 cot while the mother said weakly, "Oh Noah, don't..." Yes, it's a display model, but we sell our ex-display stock afterwards and that's one that's going to be heavily discounted now. Some parents think that shop items are public property and can be mauled with impunity (right up until it's their time to buy, when they want one from the back, wrapped in plastic, rather than the one that's on the shelf).

My 60yo co-worker is the best in these situations as she will barrel out from behind the counter blaring, "NO! Don't touch that! Not safe for little ones!" She'll literally follow the child around the shop if the parents don't start adressing the behaviour. She's a pretty tough rock chick in reality, but being of an older generation she can come across as a Grandma figure and so she doesn't get the back chat.

Don't worry - your reaction was fine, the mother is the one in the wrong. You never know, she might actually go home and think about how her child was behaving once the first defensive reaction has passed. Hmmm, maybe not!

Dress like Mary Poppins... uh, make that Mrs Doubtfire... and they'll fall into line.

You did fine limey. This is the same parent who won't believe the teachers/ bus drivers / baby sitters / coaches when they talk about how disruptive she is. You do them all a favor when you make an assertive but measured and cool response.

I still say a Nine Iron would have had a more lasting statement and been a more effective behavior modification tool.

i would have just gave her a "Ello, ello govna waz dis?"

Clearly the woman lacks parenting skills. It happens here all the time. People bring their children to restaurants (sometimes upscale restaurants) and let them run around like wild animals between tables, throwing things, and I've even seen then shooting spit wads all the while the parents sit there doing nothing and when someone has a complaint, they lose their minds.

When this happens, I lose my mind too. I've grabbed 2 kids shooting spit wads in my direction by the scruff of the neck and brought them back to their parents table and when their father stood up to say something I said, "Your kids are shooting spitwads in a restaurant. If I see it again, I'll whip their asses and yours too."

I've also seen parents bring screaming 2 year olds to 3 hour long epic movies when they know the child can't sit still that long, or others allowing their children to run around the theater (with blinking and glowing shoes)

i think you'll have to answer this for yourself

do you have a cold?

Thank you, thank you!!:notworthy
Of course I was looking for validation, but the fact is that although I have very strong views on parenting I have no kids myself (because I have very strong views on parenting ...) so am uncertain whether my behaviour would be considered out of line by actual ... parents.
I confessed the lost sale to the boss this morning, thinking that a pre-emptive strike would be better than Mrs Mummy writing to complain about me, or worse still, turning up at our other shop (where I usually work) today while the boss is there. She (the boss) was cool ...
Hey ho.

Do I dod't.

:f167: Limey, were you looking for a Cross of St. Andrew? That's a saltire.

Thanks UG. Wasn't in the list when I last updated my sig.