Tidbits
 

This is from last night. I originally stuck this in another thread for temporary storage, then thought I should start a thread for storing tidbits - little ideas that someone might eventually find a use for.

Feel free to use these ideas, or to add your own.

(I'm putting these in the Cellar instead of on my local hard drive because sometimes when I'm travelling I might want access.)

---

Ignore this 1) He had hair as white as nuclear winter

2) Darn, I can't remember the second one. Something about... I can picture what I was seeing when I had the thought, but the thought escapes me. There were two guys sitting at the bar, and one of them was putting his arm around himself, from behind. Maybe I'll know in the morning.

Oh yeah, there was a third thing. I was eating peanuts at work and I swear that one of them was, except for it's size, an exact replica of the virgin Mary's left breast. Unfortunately I ate it. But you do believe me, don't you? (meaning me, tomorrow)

You idiot, that peanut was probably worth $30k, to the Golden Palace, on ebay.
Sigh... I guess I'll get a crappy birthday gift... again. sigh

Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED 'em mayonnaise! Oh this is great. [speaks into tape recorder]

Night Shift?

I... think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

That's funny, because I was just cleaning the kitchen and thinking that mayonnaise looked like something oozing out of a serious burn.

So did the fish.

Real actual scholarship essay:

Because I get my work done, and I don't leave anything unfinished.

Real class satisfaction survey:

I didn't learn nothing from this class. I found it repetitive and redundant.

Real career aspiration essay:

I would love to get into the medical assassinating field. (Student used this word twice. Student's last name was not Kevorkian.)

Followed by another student who said:

I know it sounds weird, but I'd really love to sit in on an autopsy.

These are just from the past couple days, IRL, here at my job. Now, do you think my book will be hilarious or what?

I'm reviewing 3 grant proposals for Oklahoma State University (e.g. High-Throughput screening and evaluation of filamentous fungi for improved bioconversion enzyme efficiencies).

In the contact information section, I put that I work in the Department of Duplicate Redundancy.

it's the:
Department of Duplicate Redundancy Department

Yeah, I ran out of space.

I'm glad to see someone's paying attention.

Robert Bradley
Robert Cray
Robert Randolph
Robert Ward

calculating errors.


funny.

BigV - A hungry mind is an angry mind

by your feet and hands...

Krusteaz Instant Spiced Cider tastes like artificial nothing.

Perhaps you failed to mix it with apple juice.

BigV -- you're right. I just read the box. It's actually powered water. It says "Just add cider."

What? It's like buying instant water.

Exactly.

I've given serious consideration to this and still don't agree.

Robert Bradley Train, from the New Ground release.

Robert Cray An embarrassment of riches... you could throw a dart, really. How about "I'd Rather Be A Wino" from Who's Been Talkin'"

Robert Randolph Plenty of choices here too. How about "I Need More Love" from Unclassified. UT, you should check out the bass solo that opens this track. It's like the rumbly explosion that launches the space shuttle, and everything just takes off from there. Sweet.

Robert Ward Rare -- "Potato Soup" from the Black Top Blues Pajama Party. You may be excused for swinging wide on this final turn. It is a rockin git-ar virtuoso performance.

I invite you to reconsider. :cool:

Plus, they just line up this way in the view of my iTunes library.

Thanks for the invitation BigV, I think I will.

I have really been disconnected from the music world lately, it's good to have a new introduction.

Travelers Face Greater Use of Personal Data

de-fucking-lightful.

plaintiff smashed on head from falling sky
 

Plame's Suit Against Top Officials Dismissed
"assuming you get your day in court"

Freak Accident -- Sky falls again!
 

DOJ Drops Wiretap Investigation
"assuming you get your day in court"

yeah, that'll never happen.

Cheney Stonewalls the Senate

Honestly, too many to mention. This administration is all about sunshine and openess. [/sarcasm]

Ya really think you'll get a day in court? If you do, you're deluded.

Trade union membership? Sexual orientation?

Yeah- this is my knee-jerk reaction:
Don't fly. At all. I don't.
:mad2:

Note to self:

Remember to tell Happy Monkey & bigw00dy idea for joint project

.
.

Heh. My dad and I have actually looked at a similar piece of furniture. I'm not sure when, if ever, we'll get around to it, though...

Why is midnight midnight, when it's the divide between today and yesterday?

From here.

Also, why do people say 12 a.m. or 12 pm? If it is exactly at 12 it's either midnight or noon. Someone says 12 a.m. and I have no idea what time they're talking about.

Quit yer nitpickin.

You know full well that people mean "Midnight" if they say 12 AM.

Yes, we both know they are wrong, but it's in common use.

Seriously...I didn't know that! Hopefully it's self-explantory, like "I'll meet you at the library at 12 pm" I know the library isn't open at midnight!

I think it's part of my OCD. I never understood "lefty-loosy, right-tighty" either. It depends on what part of the bolt or whatever you're looking at as to whether it's going right or left.

But, I'm weird.

Well, you know that 12:01 a.m. is in the middle of the night. People just make the leap that 12:00 a.m. would also be in the middle of the night. They are technically wrong, because there is no such thing as 12:00 am, but I think it's in pretty common usage.

Maybe, but you are accurate on both the clock thing and the bolts thing.

Ahh yes. I see their "logic." But my brain does not accept it!

If you are going to tighten or loosen a bolt or screw, you do that from the head end. Looking from the head end the lefty/righty thing works, unless it's a rare left hand thread.

Of course a nut doesn't have a head end, but looking from the nut end of the assembly still works.

There's the rub. I usually hold the bolt still and turn the car (or hold the faucet handle and turn the house). That's how we've always done it in my family and I'm not about to change now.

Whenever I see Steve Buscemi I think he looks like Steve Buscemi in a Steve Buscemi mask.

A good reason to stay with military time.
2400 is the final point in the clock. Every second after that is the new day.

Middle of the night would have more to do with light than with time. But of course none of think of that either, middle of the night could be any time where you should be sleeping rather than doing the wild thing, partying, or studying, or whatever.

Is there really a 24.00? I'd have assumed it went 23.59, 00.00, 01.00.
I would always say noon, midday or midnight anyway.

Here's something you probably didn't know when you woke up this morning.

The rules determining the order in which the Olympic teams from each of the participating countries are not based on they alphabetic order. They are instead based on the number of strokes required to represent first word of the name of the country name in Chinese. Additionally, Greece will enter first and the host country, China, will enter last.

From here.

'cause thats how they do alphabetizing in chinese-speaking countries. Obviously without an alphabet, you gotta find... other means of organization.

If there were no laws, there would be no crime.
- HLJ

There would be crimes against humanity and probably more of them.

A spilled beer would always be a crime.

Why can't cholesterol evaporate out of food when you cook it like alcohol does?

I lovingly caressed her head
with the soft rounded corner
of a cast iron frying pan.

Because then all food would taste like celery...icky.

When you cook with alcohol it leaves the flavor behind.....

the skiff floated gently along,
exactly like a bowling ball wouldn't

I saw a bit of black under the couch.

What is it? A sock? A shoe?

Then the black moved.

Ah.

A cat.

Stupid is the new smart.

I'm at a tribal energy meeting and I heard a few phrases that I like, one being "green is the new red."

"Tribal energy meeting," - that's a good one right there.

I officially enrolled the kids in a cyber charter school for next year. Had orientation today.
I'm sad and happy and anxious and feel like a weight has been lifted.

cyber charter school?

Yes. This one.

Interesting, thanks.

but... and forgive me if I'm being rude/stupid.... what benefit does this have over regular schooling?