Total Criminalization
 

Are you doing anything illegal in the privacy of your home? It sure would be convenient if we were all criminals. Then, the authorities would only need point their finger in your direction.

All this surveilance, it shouldn't bother us "good" folks, right? Well, unless something we're doing today becomes illegal, tomorrow. I don't think they'll dismantle the framework of privacy invasions just because a few "good" folks raise their hands and complain that things are getting a little uncomfortable.

After all, it's just to catch terrorists, and we have to support that. No matter what. The boogeymans are coming.

But, while we're at it, after we're done with this pesky terrorism phase that darkies are going through, we should do something about the pot smokers. And the goddamned homos, too. Get 'em up against the wall! Man, this new-fashioned police state is a great way to get rid of the undesirables.

Hold on a second, someone is kicking my door down.

if you got a warrant, I guess you're gonna come in

Until the need for warrants is eliminated. Why should, my friend, the nice policeman, be hampered in his fight against terrorists, gangsters, druggies and father rapers? After all, the nice policeman is looking after my best interests... protecting the children from all those bad people.

heh.. yeah 'bad people'... right there on the group W bench.

I have to admit that I watered a small patch of ginger an hour ago. I was crouched behind my car in the driveway, and the ground was so dry that the water pooled on the surface for a while. Too hot for it to run down the driveway though.

I'm waiting for the watering police to arrive, as it was not my day to water.

When it's not you're day, can you put a bucket of water on something rather than using the hose? Here the theory is with a hose you don't know how much water you're wasting, as opposed to with a bucket you know exactly how much you're using plus you can't walk away and let it waste water.

If you don't show it to me first... when you come in, you are going to be in for a very RUDE reception.

Most water restrictions allow for spot watering.

Lizzy, how long have you been under water restrictions?

We have cisterns on the ranch.

I don't recall how long the water restrictions have been in effect. Years now. Floriduh with the bikers and nascar. When I lived near the Mouse, we had similar restrictions.

Yeah, I know I could have used a bucket, and I know that another hour later would have dramatically reduced the evaporation rate, but sometimes you have to Carpe Diem, dig?

Whatever, no one is really going to make a fuss. Technically I could be fined. That's not likely to happen considering I don't water the lawn here at all but have neighbors who do nearly every day. I have more of a cracker yard with native plants and sparse grass.

It's just my way of stickin' it to Da Man. Oh, wait, am I Da Man?

I smoked a cigarette. The Smoke Police didn't show up, but they very well could have. Next law: gun down people the minute they leave a bar.

Someone has posted a sign on the outskirts of town, which the city has not found a way to touch. It reads:

_____ Protocol:
Bend over and grab your ankles.

I saw a picture of that. Didn't the town take it down and had to put it back up?

Yeah, I think it now has to be on a free-standing post on the guy's property, and now there's nothing the city can do. I don't even know who it is, but one of the trustees at my club has one in his car window.

Cooooool! Never let the bastards relax for a minute.

I love it! A little civil disobedience never hurt anyone.

It's even better when it's perfectly legal.

Water cops tried to arrest me at my grandfather's house for watering his lawn years ago. I had to walk the line a mile to the cistern with them.
The thing that confused me the most is that they were pissed-off about it.
I was polite, told them they were doing a good job, offered them a cold drink and sandwich. Seriously, you guys think I don't like cops... but I do as long as they are not doing anything unconstitutional. I feel for a guy doing something he is told, especially if he has been brainwashed into thinking that it is the right thing.
But, back on topic... to this day, I can't figure out why the two water-cops were pissed.

Ha, I didn't know that. I guess I knew they enforced the restrictions in some places, but I see so many people flout them.

Bet they were angry because they were psyched up for the job of having you bend over in acquiescence. When they had to recognize they were wrong it was embarassing, and a let down. All that adrenalin and no place to piss.

Blimey, do cops piss adrenalin?

environmental cops are the worst! They aren't real cops in my city, just civic employees with a leeeeetle (a very leeetle) bit of authority. They are the ones that will give you a ticket for putting a garage sale sign, or having an old car in your yard, or watering on the wrong day.

the worst!

An adrenalin rush can give some folks the urge to urinate. YMMV.

Yeah, those civic officers are asshats. I suppose they do a needed job, but my encounters with them have usually been in opposition. Small town mentality, ya know?

This one loser in the Parks Department in this town followed me around a lake to tell me that my dog needed to be on a lead. No one was in the park save the Parks guy and me, and my dog had been swimming. She was on the lead when she was out of the water before and after, but the uniform said I was in violation, etc., etc. Apparently dog swimming is allowed, but the dog must be on a lead even while swimming. He had spotted me through binoculars taking my dog off lead and putting her back on. I could have sucked it up and dealt with it, but he wasn't very smart and had to repeat the same tired words four times. I was irritated before he got through with the second iteration. I get very haughty with people like that. It's too easy for people to assume I must be stupid as if the degree of blondeness confers idiocy. Yeah, bite me, Bozo.

Back to Flint's more general topic, I do a number of things that law and order types might get upset about. It's not so much that I have to break laws, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with some of the personal research I do, or the things I create.

If I was ever arrested for anything that gave a wide open search warrant to police, I could be in some hot water. I guess that would depend on what my alleged crime was. If it was murder by motor vehicle, perhaps my distillation efforts, odd botanicals, and archaic weaponry would be of no interest.

However, I have a friend whose personal collection of murder mysteries was confiscated when her husband was arrested for murder... They were returned, but how do you suppose an Agatha Christie novel incriminates a devoted reader?

So, I'd rather not be too specific but, yeah, I have a number of areas of interest that I'd rather not come to law enforcement's attention.

Maybe about ten years ago, an ex and I were out in the canoe on a large lake with a small island. The tiny beach on this half acre island had some interesting stuff. There was an attenuated pot plant growing in the sand about an inch and a half high. It wouldn't survive, and was showing serious signs of distress. He plucked it and stuck it on the prow. We started back to the dock when he noticed a cop car in the parking lot. He tossed it rather than the possibility of this tiny plant of two leaves getting us in trouble. Might seem far fetched, but really you just don't know what will make some joe with a badge come down hard on you.

You know those mattress tags that say "Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of Law"? I'm not sure if mine is still on.

That should be good for 10 years.