A Short Review of Mass-Produced Honey Buns
 

Or, something only gluttons and cyclists (is there a difference?) care about.

Little Debbie Classic: Boring, small, no crusty glaze. Spend your 50-cents on two oatmeal cream pies.

Little Debbie Frosted: Small, and very gooey. Delicious, well worth 50-cents.

Mrs. Freshley's Jumbo Classic: Crusty glaze, LARGE, and nicely gooey. Worth the premium if the commie bastards don't have the frosted version.

Mrs. Freshley's Jumbo Frosted: I would give oral sex for these. 'Nuff said.

Non-honey bun category --

Apple Ugly Apple Pastry: Tasty, large, gooey, and a good change of pace. Could use a tad more "appleness."

Mrs. Freshley's Iced Cinnamon Buns: Milk required as they tend to be dry. I can't drink milk during a ride so these are pretty much out.

There's a roast beef cooking upstairs...it won't be ready for an hour...TORTURE.

Love the title of this thread! When I think of honey buns, I think South Pacific:

My doll is as dainty as a sparrow,
Her figure is somethin' to applaud.
Where she's narrow she's as narrow an arrow,
And she's broad where a broad should be broad.

A hundred and one pounds of fun,
That's my little honey bun!
Get a load of honey bun tonight.

I'm speakin' of my Sweetie Pie,
Only sixty inches high,
Ev'ry inch is packed with dynamite!

Her hair is blond and curly,
Her curls are hurly-burly.
Her lips are pips!
I call her hips 'Twirly' and 'Whirly.'

She's my baby, I'm her pap!
I'm her booby, she's my trap!
I am caught and I don't wanna run,
'Cause I'm havin' so much fun with honey bun!

I am caught and I don't wanna run,
'Cause I'm havin' so much fun with honey bun!

Believe me sonny!
She a cookie who can cook you 'till you're done,
Ain't bein' funny!
Sonny, put your money on my honey bun!

I love it, Cloud!

I'll have to see that show sometime.

you haven't seen it? [aghast]

He's a youngin...they weren't well-exposed to classic musicals. Shit, neither was I for that matter...I'm 31.

If you haven't seen South Pacific, you are perhaps not aware that the song is sung by a male sailor wearing a grass skirt and coconut bra. :)

As far as your predicament, I'd suggest a spanking to take your mind off food . . . but that would probably just remind you of buns! :lol:

Those things look so uncomfortable!

Sometimes uncomfortable can be good. Looks kinda . . . restricting doesn't it?

As long as I'm hijacking poor Grant's thread (sorry, I'm being weird today) I'd like to honor that other cinematic ode to honeybuns:

Princess Leia!

(if I were really clever I'd post a clever Star Wars pic here . . . but I'm not).

S.P. was my high school musical, and my buddy Jim was an awesome honeybun, at 5'6" and about 241 pounds of fun.

He let it all hang out and earned much respect.

I thinking more of chafing. Ow!

Grant--if you happen to stay at a Holiday Inn Express during your travels, you've got to try their breakfast bar cinnamon rolls. I think they put crack in them.

I used to buy frozen ones that you heated in the oven that were pretty good--don't remember the brand.

Is there no difference between gluttons and cyclists? Most cyclists I see look pretty fit to me. Not that I ogle their asses or anything. [cough] Guess they need lots of calories to peddle.

I have to put in a plug for Lula's Cinnamon Rolls, located at the Four Seasons Mall in Greensboro, NC. (This was during my salad days in the late 80s... I can't swear they're still there.) The cinnamon buns were absolutely delicious, but the real treat was the frosting--thick, creamy, and just all-around yummy. One time I had a tray of 1/2 dozen of them. (Why? I forget. We must have been having visitors or something and decided to have a treat for breakfast the next morning.) Anyway, I was carrying this tray out to my car, and as I walked through the mall and then out the department store, I could just feel the lustful eyes of my fellow shoppers on the portable heart attacks as I walked out. I'm surprised I wasn't mugged for them.

mmmmm . . . frosting!

mmmm....thick and creamy

(I had to say it just to steal the joke from Sheldon.)

For buns, you have to look long and far to find something that will beat a U.S. Navy cinnamon sticky bun. It's just plain yeast-risen bread, with cinnamon and butter rolled in and more drizzled on top. The secret seems to be natural-raising the yeast bread slowly all night.

You pretty much only got these once you were out to sea a few days; they would give the mess-cranks a break with some days' supply of shore-made bread early in any run. The crew would eat this supply up and then the ship starts baking its own, and sticky buns would show up for breakfast.

(I am glad somebody else besides me here saw South Pacific before. I threw a riff on it at Aliantha and seemed completely to baffle her. Or some kibitzers.)

Great show! I grew up watching all the R&H musicals.

All those commerically prepared honey buns suck.

And they still let you into the armed forces?

The ones I've had out of vending machines are bad, but some of the store bought are ok.

I work near an Entemann's Outlet and for a while I was bringing home their Ultimate Super Cinnamon Buns until my wife begged me to stop. Apparently, these form a very strong bond with XX chromosones.

Begged you to stop? I'm surprised she didn't just start hanging out at the outlet! :angel:

If I could get freshed baked goods in the places I was riding through the past few days I would have. Normally pre-packaged bakery is absent from my diet.

Hi, I noticed your post about Lula's cinnamon buns when I googled them just a few minutes ago in a desperate attempt to possibly find their gooey delisciousness once again, LOL! I am very sad to report that they have not been in Four Seasons in quite some years and I cannot find them anywhere else. My family is from Burlington which is just down the road from G'boro, we used to drive there very often just for a cinnamon bun. . .with extra frosting of course!!
I just had to acknowledge a fellow Lula's-lover and share the sad news. In comparison to Lula's, Cinnabon buns PALE in their shadow, so I'll continue to search for any trace of Lula! I'll not be satisfied with any cinnamon bun until I find her!! LOL!

Sorry, I thought my previous post was posting directly to SteveDallas's post about Lula's. . .sorry for the very vagueness!

There's and ultra cyclist (whose name escapes me) who swears by donut shops.

Roger Kramer and the Tour de Donut?

I believe you--Cinnabon is terrible! There's too much...something in them. I can't quite put my finger on it.

The secret is not to sing show tunes in the showers.

Just hum them if you really must.

This information is no longer classified.

:p

Steve Dallas,
Unfortunately, Lulas is no longer at the Four Seasons. I was in college in Greensboro in the 90's and LOVED there cinn rolls and sticky buns. I moved to NYC after I graduated. Went back to visit my alma mater 2 years ago and "sneak" over to Lula's - Gone. :( I miss that place don't know what happened to them. I asked around but no one seemed to know.

All good things . . .

I'm surprised there's not still a puddle of sugar left where their shop used to be.

Re: South Pacific. My dad was stationed in Hawaii (Marines) when they filmed that. My dad has a slide of Mitzi Gaynor strolling down the street, and always teased that they had a thing. :)

One of my favorite musicals.

Welcome C in NC and delo!

The best cinnamon rolls come from the Silver Grill in Fort Collins, CO. They are large, a little crunchy on the outside, nice and soft on the inside, never dry or lacking in flavor. The. Best.