Back in the day
 

A long time friend o mine sent me this link. Take a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oi-3t5H1r4 Got me thinking. When we met I was 19 and on my way to Seattle PD SWAT. He was 22 and an aspiring rock star. 9 years later I'm a bartender at the club we met at an he's pushing papers in the army signal corps. It's a bit nostalgic, I know, but what were you all going for "back in the day"? How far did you stray?

I was going to get my PhD in psychiatry, counsel blue-haired ladies for 100 bucks an hour, and live in a beautiful loft in New York City.

Well, not so much.

Thanks for the link to that song. Some things are timeless. [/waxing nostalgic]

:)

back in the day.....I slipped down the rabbit hole and spent way too long in Wonderland with the Mad Hatter and all his cronies. Took me a long time to find my way back to real world...by which time the game had changed and so had I.

I swore I was going to be in the Navy just like my Dad and my brother, I joined Navy ROTC, hated it. Went to PLC in the Marine Corps for a summer, sucked. Joined the Army.

Back in the day, I'd go to parties at college and stand in the corner with my friends, slowly sipping the cheap beer from plastic cups, sometimes talking, and always trying to look cool for the ladies who were paying no attention to us. Then I'd walk back to my dorm room alone and drunk.

Oh, how I miss those days. :eyebrow:

:comfort:

Those ladies must have been just plain stupid. :p

Back in the day I was going to marry a rich man, live in a huge house with lots of children and write books in my home office (with large windows overlooking the perfect lawn where my children played).

I read far too much Louisa M Alcott and L M Montgomery.

I guess I've always been weird. Even as a young girl, I told my mom I didn't plan to have children. Isn't this every woman's dream? And I LOVE kids, and I'm good with them. I just never saw myself as a mom.

The white picket fence and beautiful husband and children were never my dream. I wonder why that is? No matter, the dream I did have is but a faint memory.

"Back in the day" I was one depressed, lonely guy. I figured I would be dead before I was 30. Tried to accomplish it a few times on my own.
I started living when I turned 40 and have fit more happiness in the last 7 years than I ever had in the first 40.

I may fantsize now and then, but dreams are asking for the stars.
I don't want to lose what I have now because I never should have had it at all according to my early "Back in the day" days.

Yes. I suppose they were. :)

But my post wasn't in the spirit of this thread. It wasn't about my dreams and where I ended up instead.

Back in the day, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be. This caused me much anxiety. I had no real dreams. Everyone I knew seemed to have their shit together and know what they wanted to be when they grew up. I had no clue. So I just did what I was told and kept my nose clean, but otherwise followed the path of least resistance through life and ended up here. I never really chose this life. It just happened to me. I did end up with an amazing wife and kids, but the career is rather uninspiring.

I don't have any "back in the day" yet, you insensitive clods!

lol!

To Glatt: having the wonderful family is much more than a lot of people will ever have. You are lucky to have them and they are lucky to have you! I'd call it a success story. :earth:

I hope I didn't sound like I was complaining. I'm not at all.

Oh, I know that...just felt like spreading some positive affirmation around! I know that you know that you got it going on; didn't mean to make you think that I thought you were complaining! :)

I admit I never realistically thought about children. About 10 years ago I found a "rough book" (a workbook we were given each term to take miscellaneous notes in - usually ended up full of obscene jokes, telephone numbers and drawings) from when I was 14. I'd actually listed the potential names of my daughters. I planned to have 6.

This quite surprised me - as an adult I realised I have no maternal urges at all. I dread my biological clock starting to tick because it's been silent so long I figure it would go off like a nuclear bomb. My dreams of children come from a time I wasn't physically capable of having them. They are a child's dream.

My image of an airy home, filled with fresh flowers, the smell of baking, the laughter of children and the tapping of my typewriter came directly from my childhood heroines Jo and Anne. Oh Katy's family in Susan Coolidge's What Katy Did... books.

I'm not sure what happened to my dreams once my hormones kicked in - all I know is everything became reasonably short term after 16. Probably best given that my highest calling was to spawn.

I'd still like to write one day though.

You should write, you are quite talented.

As to the biological clock, I have long told people that my biological clock is digital, so I don't hear it ticking. So many people told me, when I was younger, that I'd regret not having kids. I didn't think the possibility of future regret to be sufficient reason for me to make a step I wasn't sure I wanted. I think sometimes what a neat kid I would have had. I've had many people tell me what a great mom I would be, after watching me with their kids or my nieces and nephews. But I'm not sure I have what it takes to survive the constant worry that doesn't end even once your child has grown. Maybe I never felt in my own heart that I was good enough, that I could give that kind of intense consuming love without driving myself or them crazy, maybe I never believed I was worthy of the unconditional love of a child. Like the unconditional love of my parents and brothers, I might carry a guilt for not seeing what the hell anyone could find to care about in me.

Or, maybe I'm just lazy. :dunce:

Nothing wrong with being lazy. Why do extra work if you don't need/want to?

Especially if that "laziness" saved society a bunch of fucked up kids.... (referring more to myself here to be honest)

A lot of people say that sort of thing and I think it isn't really true. What I think may be more accurate is that if you have kids you most likely won't regret it.

Especially if you have a partner, married or not, to help you take care of them, And if you aren't a teen who hasn't finished high school.

They change your life in a way that cannot be imagined. The old you is as gone as the old you in "Those were the days." (A totally depressing song, btw. I like to think my life is, if not happening right now, at least ahead of me.)

The thing that surprised me most about having a child was that I did not know it was possible to love someone so much.

You won't regret not having kids, and I doubt you'd regret having kids either. Regrets are a choice we make anyway, not something unavoidable like rain.

Well I can't really go "back in the day" so I these are my current aspirations.

I hope to get an undergraduate in eletrical or civil engineering and then go back to graduate school after a year or two for management or engineering.

I hope to marry I wife I can stand.

I hope to have kids that I won't murder before the age of six.

Don't forget that time period after the age of six as well, it's a doozy. :)

I feel like I never had a "back in the day." I've been 30 since I was about 10, according to my friends and family. Oh, here's one thing: back in the day if you'd told me I would want to be a stay-at-home-mom I would have laughed in your face. I always knew I wanted kids--lots of kids, and right away, in fact--but I thought for sure I'd put them in daycare after 6 weeks and go right back to work.

Back in the day, I went to school for architecture. But the day I graduated, I was offered a job with a nice salary as a graphic designer, and never looked back. I used to want to work for a big company (I don't even know why now, blah), but now I'd much rather run my own business.

I didn't want kids either, and that hasn't changed in 20+ years (though I've thought about it, occasionally.......umm........still NO). Mostly because I'm too selfish, and I don't want my life to change that way. And scared too, especially of the teen years. I was not very well-behaved as a teenager, and I definitely not want to go through what I put my poor parents through. I try to make up for it now. :)

I'd like to take a second to ask some parents a favor here: Do not tell someone who does not want kids that they should have kids. Unless every one of you gives them a dollar.

I didn't want to get married, but that has changed, sort of. I actually WANT to marry my fiance; as to when/if it will really happen, who knows?

Sounds familiar.

Except for the friends part.

:lol: I always knew I wanted at least three and for one of us (probably me) to "stay at home" with them, but I never told anyone (apart from hubby) and I'm not big on other people's children. When we announced that we were expecting the first, shock would be an understatement if used to describe reactions. If I had thinner skin I'd've been offended :lol:

When I was little:
I wanted to get a PhD. I did that.
I wanted to do a parachute jump. I did that
I wanted to be a figure skater. I'm learning now.
I wanted to play the flute. Soon come.
I wanted to see the world. Working on it.
I wanted to live in New York City. Well at least I'm in the right country, and loving it, although we didn't get a whole lot of choice about it. Not so sure NYC would be a good place for me right now -maybe once the nest is empty I'll get an apartment there when I need a break from my world expedition.
I wanted to be a computer programmer. :eek: (my BSc quashed that idea)
I didn't want to be a secretary. Check.
I wanted not to be fat and good at sports. Well now I'm pretty good at sports but I'm not slim (I'm not "fat" either by general standards, but I could lose a few pounds). It all but broke my heart a few weeks ago when I found my childhood photo album out and saw my pics at school and realized I wasn't fat then. So much misery I could have avoided if I'd known. Does an inverse acheivement count?
I wanted to give my kids unusual names. check
I wanted to be my own boss. check
I wanted to be able to leave my room messy. check. be careful what you wish for. Tomorrow I have a coffee morning at my house. I don't even know where to start with the mess. The basement is literally full of bagged/boxed mess, there's no room for more. But I did use the time I didn't spend tidying raising $15,000+ for the school :lol: Thank goodness they replaced "Housewife" with "SAHM". Although I'm never at home. :D

I think I'm pretty much where I hoped to be.

At various points in my life, I've wanted to be an astronaut, a doctor, a gynecologist, live in Oklahoma, live in Chicago, be a baseball player, be a rock star, be a bachelor, adopt refugees, date a black woman, date a Latina and run for public office.

Lessee...I fulfilled a whopping 3 of those things. But I'm not complaining...I'm very happy with how my life has gone. Now, if I could just figure out what I want to be when I grow up...

Thanx for th contribution o my first official thread! It's a wonder that some o you achieved your "back in th day" dreams. Better still that some o you pulled your heads outa your asses an did better. I realize, as Foot x 3 said, is a depressing song. The friend who sent th link to me, Lance, is on leave because a member of our crew from those days, Josh, took an IED in Iraq. Killed his whole squad. He died in a hospital in Texas a week later. Never woke up. Josh was gonna be a massage therapist. He was recalled two years ago. Was able to jump from an infantry SAW gunner to a medic. In the last two years his unit pushed hard an was able to provide inoculations to several thousand Iraqi children and set up a battered womens shelter. This big goof of a man, a swishy bisexual who amused an irritated. Who introduced me to th most amazing woman I know. A woman who was my gf for 3 years an is now one o my best friends an heroes. Turned out, in my mind, he was more of a man then I've ever pretended to be. So th night I started this thread, Lance an I talked of th "old days". Before I lost 5 years to pot, booze, parties, one night stands, an video games. How I went from a aspiring public servant to a pusher of legal drugs. How he went full circle from navy intel to army intel. With nuthin productive between. An how maybe Josh wasn't th one who should ave gone. Been a rough few weeks. First friend I've ever lost. Used you folks as a sounding board. To remind me th game's still on. TY. Made me smile. Never ask for more.

I wanted to play for the Dallas Cowboys

Sorry to hear about your mate. I am sure he touched your heart and life in many ways. It sounds like you have taken the best and are moving on. You are not alone.

Glad you shared that with us Lotek, thankyou.

loTEK911, it's tough losing people, even if they were only in your heart and thoughts instead of your day to day. When I graduated from High School in '62, Viet Nam was just coming to a boil and I lost a dozen schoolmates over the next couple years. I was very surprised how the deaths of people I hadn't seen since graduation....in truth some I didn't even like.... affected me deeply.
That said, the ones in recent years have been harder. I found out recently the one guy I really liked at work...could talk to and trusted implicitly ....will be dead within a year...maybe weeks.

Yeah, that's when you look at your own life and regret some of what you feel was wasted time. But maybe it wasn't wasted if it kept you happy and sane at the time. So don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing ok.

Maybe your video should be replaced with

I wanted to write science fiction or fantasy, and be the next Roger Zelazny. It wasn't 'til some time later that it occurred to me that trying to be the next Heinlein or Zelazny would be foredoomed -- I should concentrate instead on being literarily my own self.

Now I quite wonder if the urge to write is being gratified by posting on Internet forums.

Well, there's always the idea of trying to write and draw my very own comic book. If Dave Sim can do it... though the first inspiration was Wendy and Richard Pini...

I've thought that before now. I always wanted to be a writer. I always thought I was rather good at it and I figured I had a lot to say.....trouble is when I was much younger I was waaaay more interested in being a writer than actually writing:P I became quite self-conscious in what I wrote because I always had in the back of my mind the idea of what kind of writer I wanted/was trying to be.

These days I write when the urge takes me (not so often whilst doing an essay based degree :P) and I have no intention of it ever going anywhere but the net. or MyDocs. I would say I am a better writer now than before.

After publishing some research papers and doing a dissertation I lost the desire to write anything that long that had to be reviewed by someone else. I have an online friend who is a popular mystery writer, http://annefrasier.blogspot.com/ , her stories about the publisher have been brutal. No thanks.

I'm a published poet...supposedly.

Rock star, movie star, rock star, movie star... I just couldn't decide, so I becamer the next best thing, a carpet installer.

Back in the day I was shy and quiet and never stood up for myself. Now I don't know when to shut up and I go to battle over things I really shouldn't be concerned about.

I'm hoping that in future days I'll become a bit more moderate in my approach.

Chicken.

I had seriously intended to grow up. Now, I'm left with wondering, "Why?".

Back in the day, I intended to go to uni and do something really clever!!
Instead I had my 1st child, lost a few brain cells, had my second child, by then the scientists had decided that pregnancy causes a womans brain to shrink. Then thought about going to uni, but with my shrunken brain?? Instead I cook revolting food for revolting children then go home & dream of taking a magic carpet ride

Where does the magic carpet take you?

I also dreamed of going to uni ad doing something terribly clever. I kind of imagined I'd either be a lecturer or a windswept and interesting writer by now.....At 34 I finally decided I needed to at least do the uni part of that plan:P

I always wanted to be an artist of some sort: When I was really young I wanted to design clothing, but not sew it...I just wanted to draw fashions. I have always wanted to paint. I still want to paint for a living. Workin on it.

Quick question. Does everyone in Europe call college "uni"? I only hear it from people in Europe.

In Australia we call it uni also.

The magic carpet takes me where ever i want to go...usually somewhere hot & sandy...& far away from here, maybe even to uni somewhere.
We always call it university, college is where you go instead of uni or before. My son is just about to take his gcse's, with the hope of getting into 6th form, then on to uni. If he doesn't get his a levels then he'll go to college instead.

Pierce, we call University 'uni'...we also have colleges, but they tend to be either at a lower level than uni (e.g. people go to college and take a-level courses as a route to going to university, or do other lower level academic courses etc) or they offer equivalent non-degree courses.

Ah, college and university are pretty much the same thing here.

True, though (if I'm not mistaken) only universities can confer doctorate degrees.

In America we have Community Collages. There you can get a two year associates degree, and most credits are transferable to a College or University. Is that what they are talking about?