Questions that could ruin your day
 

How am I going to pay for my 3 kids' college educations?

And 2 or 3 weddings? (hopefully)

Will LASIK destroy my profession?

Will the doctor retire when I'm 52, leaving me unemployed?

Will my kids fight in the global war on terror?

Will global warming, a terrorist attack, a celestial body hitting the earth, nuclear war, or any other catastrophe radically change civilization as we know it - during my lifetime?

Why is this mark on my face asymmetrical?

Will people not hire me because I'm fat?

Is this just a "keep you up awake at night thought"? Or are opticians seeing a decrease in business that's directly attributable to LASIK?

And what about online glasses places that will sell you your prescription glasses for $20 instead of $200? I just got $17 glasses from eyebuydirect.com. Not trying to ruin your day more, but how can a local optician compete with that?

Are they coming to take me away (ho ho hee hee ha ha)?

"Hey Shawnee, did you see your name in the paper?"

I don't think it has, yet. In fact some of the people who havehad LASIK still need glasses. As the affordability of LASIK increases, it may effect eyeglass sales. So it's not an immediate threat, but...

You can get a business suit for a lot less on-line, too. But who will take the measurements accurately to ensure a good fit, and who will tailor the suit once you get it? What happens if you break the glasses? Will your on-line provider replace a frame under warranty? If they send you a new frame, how will you get your lenses from the broken frame to the new one? Oh, buy a whole new pair? Hmmm... Don't forget that you know a lot more about suits than you do about glasses - much of what you pay your optician is for expertise, not product. In the future, I expect to have an "on-line package" that will include product design, measurements, and adjustments, the price of which will make your on-line purchase about the same as you would pay in my shop. Luckily, eyeglasses are NOT a commodity.

Why are they towing your car?
Did you remember to turn off the stove?
Those letters from the IRS weren't important were they?
Do you know how fast you were going?
Would you step back through the metal detector, sir.
Why is that dog barking at your suitcase, honey?

Is that horrible rash on my doctors hands anything serious?

I have a flight out of Philadelphia on USAir this Saturday. How much of a disaster is this going to be??

Do you understand these rights?

Is that one or two blue lines?

Wait, what pill did I give your son?

Um, where's the baby?

Where were you on the night of the fourteenth?

What is this funny rash?

Why did I take the red pill?

How am I going to find homes for these nine puppies?

was that a fart ???

:biglaugha :lol2:

How old are you?

Are you that Rosie O'Donnell?

Where do you want it? In the head or in the heart?

BOSS: "Do you know anything about this CELLAR website?"

Are you having an affair?

Any question that starts off with "Im not going to get angry - i just need to hear the truth..."


Ooooh crap.

How did that blonde hair come to be on your lapel?

Have you had anything to drink this evening, sir?

What is that white powder in your luggage?

Has anyone told you about the Kingdom of God?

Is there a doctor in the house?

What happened to the brakes?

Does this make me look fat?

"Could you squeeze this for me?? ...because I cant reach"

Has anyone seen the urine sample I stored in the fridge?

was the window of your car always that broken?

where do you see yourself in 10 years?

will you marry me?

do you know how fast you were going?

Was that a cop in that car we just passed?

Mum, how long will it take for that tree to grow back?

Where's the dustpan?

Hey, doesn't that guy who just bit (spit on/puked on) you have HIV (Hep C)?

Oh God, just reading that made my stomach drop a little....

I use my very lovely cellar.org tagline mug at work. I also, on occasion, forward my boss IOTDs having to do with aviation.

AFAIK he hasn't started regularly reading here, probably because there isn't enough discussion about NASCAR.

What do you think about Stanley Kubrick?

(you would not believe how many different places I have gotten into arguements over this question--for the record, I can't stand any of his films)

Did you shred the original, signed copies of that document?!?

can i have my gun back now? the one i left on your desk?

can i stay with you a few nights fellow cellarite?

is that chicken cooked?

Didn't you notice that the temperature gauge on the car was pegged all the way to the right?

Did I just hit "reply" or "reply all"?

Is there something hanging out of my nose?

I was really drunk last night. Why does my asshole hurt?

Is that a picture of me?

There was a guy named Guido looking for you last night. I gave him your home address, did he find you?

Did you realise the Secrecy button on that phone doesn't work?

The best-eaten-by date on that box was what year?

Should we open this label-less can?

I do love pulling labels off of cans and putting them back in my parents' cupboard.

That is a fun one. It's also fun to pull the label off and then create your own label and tape it on. Even an obviously fake one can be good.

Is it in?

Who's is it?

youre done already?

That was it?

Is that your kid peeking over the corner of the bed?

Shall we shave the other one before he wakes up?

OMG... I've been in the room when that one was uttered.

where's my rubber?!

Isn't it on the end of your pencil?

what do you mean no means no?

you don't swallow like your sister does?

Has this lump always been there?

Whats my password again?

can you believe darth vader is luke skywalkers father?

Your Mercedes you lent me- is the insurance paid up?

Ever see pics of your mom naked? Wanna buy some?

Remember the car...?

That guy over there says he knows you *really* well?

Excuse me, has anyone aboard had any flight experience?

Ohhhh, youre that chick on that website....right?