I'm getting married too (again)
 

My sweetheart and I are going to tie the knot.

She is busily planning the wedding and I am preparing to move to Texas. For reasons best left to imagination, she is unable to live outside a desert environment for long.

One question: Am I wrong for NOT wanting to be married by/with Elvis in Las Vegas as she is hoping? I always thought a wedding should be at least a BIT serious (lifetime commitment and all) and not too zaftig. I don't mind some frivolity but I think I should draw the line at that. Or is it possible that she is pulling my chain and I'm too dense to know it?

I know a church wedding is out so it's going to be a JP or similar. I might be cool with a handfasting if I get to wear my skirt^H^H^H^H^H kilt and she hasn't ruled it out either, pending a Googling to see what it actually involves.

Mostly I just wish she would make up her mind about simple little things...like wether to invite family or not. My family cannot make the trip to Texas, hers cannot make it to PA. She will simply DIE if not kept warm (truism of living with her). Looks like Vegas is a done deal but I cannot quite get over the whole Elvis thing. Or Star Trek, or any other silly theme wedding idea.

Yes, I know the wedding is really about HER and not ME. I'm just a bit player in a huge stage show really. That's why I can get away with a $100 tux while she has to choose from a bewildering array of frocks and price tags, depending on the wedding she chooses. I got it easy really, I think. All I have to do is nod and say "Whatever you want dear. It's YOUR wedding day and I want you to treasure it forever." I know I have to make some small decisions like which font to use on the invitations (from the list SHE gives me) and such. I am cool with all that part.

What I really need is advice on how to participate in a meaningful way in the whole wedding discussion without winding up on the sofa. Ideas anyone?

a) you're not wrong
b) if the wedding isn't about both you and her, why have a wedding at all. It's the union of two people, and it is serious. Not that elvis weddings aren't ok- only if both peoples wishes are respected!
c) how do you tell her- show her that post. it seemed reasonable enough to me and I understood where you're coming from, she probably will too(I hope)

Are you sure about this? cos, I'm imagining that you're marrying a mutant lizard woman creature that needs to sun herself for 8 hrs a day!

Congrats!

While the desert is good, a dessert environment is even better.

Tell her to be packed and ready. Then next time you have a load, where you can swing by and pick her up, that's going through Vegas you can do it. ;)

Good on YA! Congrats! :) The coolest thing about Love is that is can be Eternal* and is always magnifying in a loving way! YAY!

*obviously I do not mean Vampire Love which is also Eternal.

No, weddings are for girls. Let her have her way. I myself, could care even less about my own future wedding. I've repeatedly joked to my SO about a 10 dollar marriage chapel in Vegas, like, joked really seriously. But that won't happen, so just let her have her way. And then make a schedule for sex at least 3 times a week until she goes through menopause. Then up the sex to 6 times a week, cause hey! No more risk of future college savings for a mistake child!

Btw, why can't either sets of parents not make it down to another state? A wedding is quite important to you know, family!

Mistake is a harsh word....and funny at that..

IMO, I would expect a wedding to reflect the taste of BOTH parties involved. ...and I am leaning towards you with the belief that weddings are a serious matter and should be respected.

I don't know how to advise...I had a church wedding with mass, horse/carriage to the reception, the whole 9 yards... For ME, I wouldn't feel married if it weren't in a church. Hubby felt the same way so we had no problems, there.
I think your wedding (yes, "your") should reflect both of your tastes. If you can't get your mind around an Elvis wedding, you need to speak up. If you can let her have her fun, I think that would be great, too. But not at the cost of sacrificing something you believe in/about...
hh

Make sure her having her way doesn't get out of hand, like so many do. Hoof Hearted's wedding sounds like at least $30,000 today. I not criticizing her for doing that, to each his(her) own, what ever blows your skirt up.

That said, my peer group is the fathers of the bride or groom, sometimes grandfathers having to step in when the father is absent. They tell me of offers to buy the newlyweds a car, downpayment on a house or just the cash in hand, to forgo the huge dog & pony show, for a simple ceremony with immediate family.
NO WAY! Barbie wants a storybook wedding like a Disney movie.

Two years later half are divorced, or at least separated, up to their butts in debt without 2 cents to rub together. Often the trouble was arguing over money problems. What a damn waste.:(

I went to a $120,000+ wedding last summer. It was great, but not worth that kind of outlay. And these were not exactly wealthy folk.

Our honeymoon costs about 2 times what our entire wedding is costing. We couldn't justify paying all that money for one day - for a dress you wear one time, (me) and a tux he isn't comfortable in - to visit with relatives you never see.

13 people total - nice and intimate - and no debt - at all.

22 days to go :)

I think the total cost of our wedding was around 120.00. That included dinner for family before-hand. We like simple, too.

Our wedding ended up costing a lot more than we'd initially intended, but we were both really happy with it in the end. We managed to incorporate themes we were both happy with, but mostly nautical items including fishing nets as decorations etc. So it was pink nautical for us. We didn't have a church. Just a celebrant at the reception venue.

The important thing was that the things which were important to us both individually were included as well as the things which mattered to us as a couple. To me, if you start your married life at odds over the simple fact of getting married, you could be in trouble.

My advice would be to just simply tell her you want a little more levity on your big day. How would she feel about having elvis music during the ceremony as she comes down the isle, then while you're signing the register etc? Maybe that would be a fair compromise?

I compromised a bit...Elvis can give her away since she has no male relatives that she will allow at her wedding.

My parents will be there in spirit...I hope. I must remember to ask her psychic.

She wants a cruise for a honeymoon...she will get one.

None of my relatives still living can make it so my side of the chapel/bingo parlor will be empty. Maybe I can get a few stand-ins from the "ranches" nearby? I shall have to try to remember to ask during my one-man bachelor party.

She will never see this thread!

We ended-up having a large wedding because our family wanted it and we made them pay for it.
We just wanted a small get together.
Personally, I say talk to her, if she really has her heart set and it is not a HUGE deal for you, do it for her... it is going to be one day for you, women REMEMBER this kind of stuff a lot more than guys usually do. After a few months you will only think of it when someone brings it up, your anniversary or something specific reminds you... it will be very rare, trust me.

She is slowly getting her mind made up.

She's down to either the James Bond or RHPS themed wedding
No word on which Bond it is.

I vote for RHPS....something about the groom being in a leather corset....is well.. fitting ;)

Brian, my wedding cost $120.00 just like Case's did, $75 of it being for the cake, and it still didn't work out. But that is irrelevant. If I could have been married by the Archbishop of Cantebury at a cost 1,000 times greater, the marriage still wouldn't have worked out any better.

That having been clarified, it is important for you to feel that you are really getting married instead of going to a circus. A wedding should be special enough that you will not think you are just a trained dog performing at the whim of another person who you dare not disobey. That does not bode well. Besides, what is special about being married in an assembly line and being just one more forgotten, faceless couple out of ten thousand others who got processed in that place? Honestly, what does that have to do with you? There are some really cool people in Texas who are authorized to perform wedding ceremonies who COULD make it really special if you take the time to find one of them. You could even be married at sunrise on the banks of the Rio Grande on the road to Albuquerque and ride off in a cortege of 18-wheelers decorated for the occasion. Heck, Brian, think about it some more. You're a really nice guy, you deserve to have this to be about YOU too.

Weddings are now and always have been about the bride. The groom is just a bit player. I care not which form the wedding takes as long as I do not have to wear a corset and high heels. again.

I kind of like the Bond theme. But I want Connery. He was the one true Bond. In my opinion anyway. Bottom line: if SHE'S happy then *I* am happy. How many guys drag out the old wedding album among their friends anyway?

That would be Bridezilla you're talking about?

Weddings are not all about the bride unless you make it that way. Is that the way you want to carry on with your partnership? Will she be in charge or will this be the ceremonial control you grant her and after that you're in charge?

Sorry to be so direct but... if you have so little care about your wedding ceremony, why are you bothering to get married? What is the purpose of marriage in your opinion?

I agree with monster on this one mostly. I would have felt very hurt if my husband hadn't had any interest or wanted any say in our wedding. He played as big a part on the actual day as I did. The only thing I did more of was stuff to do with flowers and decorations even though he still had input before we made our final decision. I can't imagine doing it any other way.

Congratulations, Brian.:lol:

Ooops! She DID see this thread.

Now she won't wear a wedding dress in my truck, darnit!
Thanks a lot Bruce! ;)

Brian

Update:

Marriage date finally scheduled for the last week in August. The exact date is a secret from me but we will be vacationing in Las Vegas then and plan to marry there. And I think I've talked her out of Elvis at last.

We'll do something interesting though. Maybe we'll even have it broadcast on webcam or something for all the relations who cannot make it.

Brian

Aw, man, you missed us by about a week. When are you leaving Vegas? BTW, as part of an Internet search I did run across a Vegas chapel that posts videos. Actually, most of them do, but this one was better than the other one I watched.

Thank you Rich, I will pass that website on to Mary. She will enjoy it I'm sure, as if she isn't overloaded with ideas already!

One of my patient's son's was wed at the Little White Chapel in Vegas. They had a lovely video. My patient was thrilled that I was able to watch the video online.

congratulations, Brian!

My fiance and I are just planning our wedding. My mom and I are doing most of the work (she and I both work part-time and he works full-time), but Daniel is very interested in the planning and we are including both of our tastes as much as we can. I wouldn't mind if he wasn't interested, but I would probably be annoyed if he didn't even make an effort to seem invested in it.

We joked around a lot about having an Elvis wedding, but we both do really want it to be a serious day. We're trying to put together a real celebration without spending too much money, and it's not easy! Much like to you, Brian.

Oh, and I don't understand the whole thing about who's in "control." It sounds like she's interested in planning the wedding and he isn't really, so why shouldn't she be in charge of it? Some guys act like if they let a woman make any decisions their dicks will shrivel up and fall off. Oh noes!

Don't give her any more ammunition...

The reason she is doing a majority of the planning is that I am not at home to discuss things, view websites, pick out stationery etc.

I kinda like it this way, too. All I really need to do is get my tux out of the closet and have it cleaned and pressed. IIRC, the shirt and tie are new or only worn once. Close enough.

In the end, it's HER day. She will be displaying the pictures in a place of honor (I hope) on the Wall O' Pictures at the house. I want her to be proud of them, and not hiding them in the bathroom behind the door.

As for me, I let her deal with that stuff, I'm less sentimental and more practical. I wonder how much it will all weigh when we move again.

Brian

thread bump
 

Finally!

She has chosen a date. Sorta.

Thanksgiving weekend-ish. Friday or Sunday. Probably. She has the chapel, hotel suite, dress, cake and champagne reception for relatives and any friends who make it.

I have to pay for it.

Ain't love grand?

When you marry them, they should move from pay-per-view to CCTV.
But it's the other way around, in reality.

BUMP!
 

The bride has chosen her gown (finally).

It is this one from David's Bridal.

I think it's beautiful and can't wait to see the pictures of her on my arm wearing that.

I will be wearing a conservative gray suit with a cream shirt that will match the gown and a gold tie. Lapel flower (can't remember how to spell the correct term) will match her choice of sunflowers for her bouquet.

More details as they come! I will share pics after!

Keep in mind that it is the marriage that really counts, not just the wedding. I worried myself to a frazzle over mine, and ended up sick, in urgent care on my honeymoon

Oooh. Beautiful dress Brian!

Lovely dress Brian, cant wait to see pics

Very pretty dress. I'm going to assume that the lace covering part comes off so she can really boogie at the reception. Hope all goes well, looking forward to updates!

I love the dress. Very elegant. Congrats!

Binky: She's not stressed much at all! I *made* her get that gown, she was going to wear a gold/black dress instead. I'll show pics of that too.

LabRat: Yes, that gauzy thing is just a cover. Her veil is at her sister's but it will be pale gold and should match well.


My future wife must be the only female in the US who hasn't been planning her wedding ever since she was five or so!

BUMP
 

I have arrived in Las Vegas. My sweetie is on her way, should be about as far as the Hoover Dam by now.

We will take care of a few last second details and then enjoy some shows (thank God they didn't shut down along with Broadway!) and do the Nasty Saturday afternoon.

Crashers will be shot and sat upon.

Pics and possibly video will be posted soon.

Wow, and here I thought I was the only romantic on the Cellar.:right:

And Brian, as far as pics go, remember to save something for the NSFW thread.

Crashers will be shot and sat upon.

Damn IT !!!
Now we have to try and cancel those plane tickets !!!!!

Good luck Brian, can't wait to see the photos.

Wahay Brian:) All the best mate.

I'm putting THOSE on http://www.pornpayperview.com/

Knot tied. The rest of the ladies may now despair.

Pictures forthcoming as soon as I go get the correct cable for the digital camera from the truck.

Today is spend the day with the wife day, then tomorrow, back on the road.

Some day soon willl come the "What have I done?!" moment.

Congratulations to you both!
Please assume despair as starting forthwith

Congratulations Brian and Mrs.R!

I'll treat you to a meal at Carnitas Queretero.

Congratulations!

Congrats Brian!

Just wondering, did she walk down the aisle with the theme song from "Convoy" playing?

She refused. Also, she refused to let me drive her to the reception in my Peterbilt. Damn.

The wedding went off with only one casualty: the best man, who managed to hack off part of a finger at the altar. He was sent directly to the ER to have it sewed back together, missed the reception (and the toast) but at least his boy didn't have a seizure due to the sudden stress.

I am heading back out with my student soon, so I will post when I can.

And I look horrible in most of my pictures!

She spent well over $1000 on the pictures (!) and I hate myself in them!

Let me join in the congratulation, Brian. Good show.

But you have to give mare details on this:

Was it the traditional nuptial game of mumbletypeg?

cleaning his nails during the service and the knife slipped?

Let me join the throng in demanding the full story here. How the #$%& does the best man "hack off part of a finger at the altar"?????
Was it his own finger?
Was it a bizarre accident with the ring? A vicious paper cut? In the name of the FSM, WHAT?

Heey! Congratulations!!!
So close to Thanksgiving too!
If it doesn't work out you might make a nice turkey! Turkey!!
;)

Now lets see those photos!!

LOL

OK

Kurt cut himself trying to remove that paper/plastic tag that was on my ring. He tried to pull it off with no luck, then borrowed my knife. I keep my blades razor sharp. It slipped and cut him. Nothing involving blood sacrifices or anything really kinky.

Photos need host space, around one gigabyte. I need to try to convert the video into a smaller size format than .VOB

Any suggestions?

Google / Picassa Web Albums for free picture hosting. 1GB free, upgradeable for $$. Seamless integration with Picassa.

I, too, cut myself badly enough on my wedding day to merit a trip to the ER. Didn't work though, still married! :D

Congrats BrianR!

Still confused: with all the wedding preparations, the trying on of the rings, the etc and so on, you didn't think to take the taggy thingy off until you were at the altar? Oops! :)

Who tried it on? I knew my size already so I just bought a ring in that size and never checked on it.

pics
 

more to come soon to a website near you!