Worst Movie EVER...and I saw St. Peppers
 

Do NOT blow your hard-earned money on Sophie Coppola's Marie Antoinette--it was, by far, the suckiest movie I have ever, ever seen--and I've seen some pretty sucky ones.

Movies that were better than Marie A.:

St. Peppers-Yes, the one with the Bee Gees.

Any movie Tom Green has been in--Freddy Got Fingered comes to mind.

Blair Witch Project and BWP II

Xanadu

Gigli

All were better than this indulgent piece of cream cake. Coppola spends actual movie minutes (a long, long time) recording KiKi Dunsts' ennui--which is pretty ennui-inducing in itself--and spends approximately 119 minutes of the movies 120 minutes letting us know how pampered these people were and how much fun they had via scenes of gambling, toasting, eating, dressing, partying, gossiping, eating some more, partying some more, etc. etc.--most movie-goers would get this idea in about three minutes...AND she ends the movie as MA, kids and King are fleeing Versailles with a fast, Mtv-ish blackout. No beheadings, no come-uppance!

Tres awful!

Luckily, I wasn't planning on spending any of my precious movie-going time on this massive costume drama.

If I pay $8 for a movie and $10 for popcorn and soda, somebody's head better explode on screen.

Agreed.

Do you think I watch too many movies with my teenagers? :D

I could have told you that. Here's my rule of thumb, not that you asked:
Avoid any movie made by the child of a wealthy and famous filmmaker.

I'm told by a reliable source that all of Coppola's wines are quite good. But I bet if his kids take over the vinyard, the wines will start to suck.

Mm. That is why you are $6.75 richer than I am right now. Plus, like, $12.00 for a medium pop. I coulda bought three cases for that.

Unless the filmmaker in question happens to be called Dario Argento, and the child in question is his daughter, Asia.

Space is the Place, by free-jazz innovator Sun Ra: worst movie I've ever seen.

I just wasted 87 minutes of my life on "Ultraviolet" last night. Egad. Poor. Very, very poor.

If my first question is WHO? then he can't be all that famous. I shall google him.

OK he seems well connected, but he also seems less a commercial success than an artistic success. But I don't know.

I have no plans on seeing this film. But I hve a hard time thinking ANY film could be worse than Cronenberg's movie "Crash". It made me sick to my stomache and I left after the 1st hour.

When I saw the commercial for Ultraviolet, I immediately noticed it looked like a low-grade "comic book" idea. Genetic supers-soldiers, fighting back against the government that created them? Give me a break. I guess Hollywood, grabbing onto the success of films inspired by classic comic book characters, thought "hey, maybe we can take this really shitty comic-type idea, slap a veneer of CGI on it, and people will eat it up!" . . .

Crash, the new one that won the award?

Bull-fuckin'-shit, man.

I actually liked The Virgin Suicides.

I have no particular interest in seeing people's heads explode, but if Kirsten Dunst were getting naked, I suppose I'd have to at least rent the DVD.

Or nudity. Then again, nobody's head exploded in A Clockwork Orange.

No, I never saw that one. The Cronenberg movie came out about 10 years ago, I think.

Well, no...but there was lots of really horrorshow tolchocks in the yarbles, and molestation of dreamy devotchkas and tons of ultraviolence, o' my brother.

In that case, nevermind mate.

Cronenbergs stuff usually rocks. I didn't see crash tho. I'm Spader averse.

But the Brood, Scanners, Videdrome, Dead ringers?

Horror as metaphor? He's great.

Plan 9 from Outer Space.... so bad its funny.

Other than in the audience, you mean, right?

videodrome freaked me out. that tv with the deformable screen.... MAXIMUM HEEBIES.

Then I hope you've seen Ed Wood. Mr Depp is wonderful as the worst director ever!

On my list, Shawnee. And Mr Depp is wonderful in most things he does.

I don't know that it was the worst movie every, but Els and I watched "Ultra-Violet" the other night and whew....was that a stinker....we both wished we had that 87 minutes back.

I agree. They can quit with the pretty boy label they try to give him. He is an amazing actor!

Depp always chooses interesting projects to be involved in.

You can say that again. For proof, just watch him doing an interview sometime as himself. How such an empty vessel can come across with substance in a movie amazes me.

The Prestige was HORRIBLE also - the great secret ending was given away halfway through and it wasn't that big a secret anyway. It took up too much time without enough happening.
I prefer things a little more thought provoking - or nudity/violence. :shrug: Then again if the bad guys shoot & miss like a 1000 times with uzis and the good guy has a derringer and kills dozens of them its pretty lame too.

I fully agree...you know who else is an amazing performer with NO personality of his own? Darryl Hammond. He's such a wonderful impersonator but in interviews he is flat, dull and void.

I never really thought of Depp as no personality. He seems deep and introspective to me. I have seen him interviewed, and he doesn't interview well; I think it makes him uncomfortable. The fact that he is such a great actor is surprising because he seems so "within himself."

Anyway, back on the thread--worst movies:

I hated Ghost. I couldn't understand all the weepy people in the theatre. My ex and I busted out laughing when everyone else was bawling. It was so trite.

I know how that feels...
 

Oh come on....some of the best movies ever made have exploding heads in them....surely? I used to frequent a Horror movie review site, which specifically rated its films with a....yes you got, a 'headcount'.

Best decapitation in movies? Guy getting decapitated by a lift in 'Trauma'. :P

First head I saw explode? Dude in Scanners circa 1981

Edited to add: Just realized this was directed by the aforementioned Cronenburg

Independance Day. That film was awful. Not so awful it's funny; just so awful it made me want to tear out my eyes.

That was rather a cool movie.

best decapitation was in The Omen

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y2/.../omendecap.jpg

Sleepaway Camp... now that movie was bad. But sooo bad that I make everyone I know watch it!

The original version of The Fog.
My boyfriend and I were watching it. The part where the sailors are in the boat all drunk. Miss McBreathy (Adrienne Barbeau) is announcing on the radio for all boats to watch for an incoming fog bank.

Drunken sailor: Fog bank. There ain't no fog bank out there.
Drunken sailer: she's crazy, there AIN'T no fog bank out there.
Me, mumbling: hey, there's a fog bank out there
Drunken sailor: hey, there's a fog bank out there.

We still say that!

Space Is The Place
 

Flint: worst movie I've ever seen.

Damn, Flint, you must be my long-lost brother. My older sister took me to see Sun Ra and the feature song was "Space is The Place." I was kinda young, and couldn't really distinguish between "good" and "crappy," but I do remember the show.

Never saw the movie.

I love Zappa, but 200 Motels wasn't my favorite either.

Maybe there is a lesson here.

Heads Above The Rest
 

Watermelon Man. Some guy getting whacked by the blades of a airplane. It was the sound that freaked me out: kerthunkfloff!

for guys getting whacked by props, you can't beat Catch22. Head & torso get mushed, hips and legs slowley, majestically even, topple into the sea.

My beau and I were laughing at the new Amnity Ville Horror while everyone else was screaming. It was corny and predictive. I was so excited about White Noise and then when I saw it, it wasn't scary at all. That was a big let down.

I know this is a bit of a detour threadwise, but does anybody remember a film called The Changeling? Man that was a greeat film. Really spooky.

On the other hand, one of the all time worst films ever, was Dead Man Walking....not the more famous one about a guy on death row, but a much earlier distopian future sci-fi film. Really really bad, and topped off with awful sound quality. that said it had Jeffrey Combs in it so I absolutely had to own a copy.

Actors are often very shy in real life... don't make assumptions from interviews.
Some movies are bad/good, some are just bad... if it is boring and bad it is just bad. If it is bad enough it can be great, like Plan 9 and all his other flicks and Waters movies.

Hiding the pistol is my freak out from that movie.

Yes, I have it on DVD.

I don't know if i would say it was the worst movie I've ever watched, but Mulholland Drive was definatly one of the strangest... The only thing that made it worth watching was seeing Naomi Watts' boobs and the HOT lesbian scenes between her and Laura Harring.

The movie was strange, typical Lynch...but I LOVED it.

You want strange Lynch? Watch Eraserhead. You might never be the same. :)

I'd say it's a tossup between The Killer Shrews or Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.

killer shrew! killer shrew!

I'm voting for Anaconda. If you watch the scene where the boat is being un-stuck, the waterfall in the background is going UP.

How do you have a waterfall in the Amazon Basin, anyhow?:3_eyes:

"Trees"

A remake of Jaws, with the shark replaced by a Great White Pine.

That actually sounds pretty funny ... for a two minute long SNL skit.

Yes, if only it were...

The waterfalls falling up is like the wagon wheels in the westerns going backwards, and the falls are created by the river flowing over a very large snake. :rolleyes:

Welcome to the Cellar, TexJeff87. :D

Same here. The only film that comes close is Timecode. There are four screens at once, and yet nothing happens on any of them. Most of the film involves people just sitting there, pointless conversations, and random earthquakes, which were apparently only put there as cues to the actors (the film was shot in one take).

I'll add two:
The Worm Eaters
Surf Nazi's Must Die

But they were both better than Safe or Monster's Ball.

Planet Terror (the first half of Grindhouse) had a good exploding head scene.

I didn't think it was the worst movie ever. Thought it was kind of boring, though.

On the whole, it was an interesting and sympathetic look at a figure which has gotten no sympathy from history, rightly or wrongly. Deliberately anachronistic, of course.

And the shoes and costumes were pretty.

Meet the Parents.

I am still upset that I'll never get those two hours back! I could, I could have *better* used them to, to, sort the dairy products by expiration date, or evening up all the threads in the fringe on my cutoffs, or sleeping, or something. I was ROBBED!

There were some classic scenes in Meet the Parents, like cat milking and, uh, that other scene... you know.

I Spit on your Grave.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Spit_On_Your_Grave