Friday Night Lit
 

No, not Literature. *Lit*. As in "getting lit". You know...doing what the Aussies were doing this time last week.

So...who else is sitting at their computer, slamming back some sort of alcoholic concoction? And why?

I bet my story is better than yours. :eek:

Having a big bud light and trying to upload photos from my new camera to flickr.

Sitting with a burbin and coke ,
Talk to me 'Splode ,
What's up ??

Smirnoff arctic berry. Tastes like shit, but you can get drunk with it....

I don't have a good story. I'm stuck at work, *was* drinking tequila and lemonade, and had a pleasant little buzz on...then I ate a slice of pizza and a couple of hot wings, and lost the buzz. The cocktail doesn't look good anymore, I'm just really sleepy and can't wait to crawl into my snuggly bed.

captain morgan & diet coke w/lime. because i like it.

goin home. no drinking. l8r

Vodka and Diet Coke w/lime, because it works, and is tasty. Somehow, I think LJ and I would get on famously in person.

Some of you may remember that I noted that Mrs Elspode and I had been polyamorous (for those of you in Australia, that means that we used to do other people, but were still the primary coupling in any given situation) earlier in our relationship. We've bounced in and out of that status a couple of times over the years, but have been monogamous for about five years now...until tonight.

Mrs Elspode is out on her first tryst of the new arrangement, and I'm feeling vulnerable, happy, worried, secure and just generally a mess. She's with a very trusted, longtime friend and confidant of both of ours with whom she's had a flirting relationship for nearly a decade. He has a steady lady, she and I are good, and it is all for fun on her part and his.

More vodka, bartender.

why aren't you with them? what's the point of polydoin'it without the voyeurisim? doesn't seem like poly anything if they went out on the town together. sounds like one of you gets left home alone. this has worked for you in the past? why not just all hang out together? i'm troubled by this

They aren't on the town, and it isn't about voyeurism...well, not altogether.

I'm not big on watching the wife doing someone else, although I'm not adverse to it either. This is rather too complex a topic to explain, I guess.

If I had your huge cock, I probably wouldn't be in this position. No, I would be...because it is about appetites, preferences, etc. Strangely, love doesn't enter into it at all, except for the fact that we have that, and it is having that which makes it at all acceptable or possible.

I'm not making a lot of sense, am I?

nope. and my cock is average. i was just illustrating how insanely funny i can be. i guess i just think that the whole 'group sex' aspect of that scene would be the attractive part of it. i don;t think i would be interested in private swapping.

Um...been in both situations. I dunno. In a perfect world, no one would need anyone other than the one with whom they were enmeshed. We don't live in a perfect world.

Poly opens possibilities. Some of them involve voyeurism, swaps, etc. At present, she's with our mutual friend, and later, I'll access some of my own avenues.

Suddenly, this all sounds pretty fuckin' tawdry. It really isn't. I was just feeling a bit vulnerable. No man likes to seriously contemplate some other man doin' his woman. I guess the ability to accept that everyone can't be everything to everyone else is fairly integral to this whole thing.

Thanks for worrying about things, though, LJ. I worry too. I'm still enough of a stupid male to think that one good orgasm might upset the entire balance of a ten-year relationship.

funny how your mood can color things, hey? sometimes i feel like sex is just sex, and it wouldn;t bother me at all to share. other times, i think i'd go crazy. you mentioned yesterday that you felt morose. what came first? was that feeling born in this imminent event, or is your reaction slanted by a feeling you already had?

No. The morosity came with the realization that the poly door was opening again. I wasn't strongly in favor of it. I was fairly comfortable. And therein lies the problem. Comfort isn't my spouse's strong point. It bores her.

I don't want to overplay my feelings about this whole thing. I truly *am* ambivalent. I mean, hey, I know some lovely women whom I've had to sort of hold at arm's length for awhile now. Now, I guess I don't have to. Of course, they were busy tonight...

On the brighter side, I found some ten year old bud that is *awesome*...

Yes, I've lost it.

it lasts that long? last tme i had 1 yr old bud, it gave me a migraine. or did you mean budWEISER? and if you did, what was the 'born on date'?

No...I'm smoking the last ganja I ever actually bought (I've done some hits on other people's stuff since then, you know?), nine years ago. I'm cheap, and mostly sober on a day to day basis.

We just found this little bag while unpacking. I'd pretty much forgotten we had it at all. I have to admit it is coming in handy. I'd have gone for Camels by now, and probably end up in jail just trying to drive the two blocks to the C-store.

One of the reasons I'm not real good at this whole gettin' blasted to ignore reality thing is that I lack practice for the past eight years or so.

ambivalent, schmambivalent, buddy.

You're awfully insightful for a car salesman, buddy. Oh. Now I get the whole thing.

No wonder you do well.

And I *am* ambivalent, man. At least, until the Mrs is sitting at home at 1:30 in the morning and I'm the one out going yeehaw.

I never said I was enlightened.

This is a very depressing meaningless drunk thread.

I think our Aussie one was much more entertaining...at the time and in hindsight. ;)

I didn't have as much participation...and I was experiencing a serious life issue. If I weren't so shameless, I wouldn't have shared. :)

FWIW, things were cool for her, and I seem to be okay in the light of dawn. I can't and won't wax philosophical about the big picture of Polyamory/Open Marriage/Whatever, but it is a functional and stimulating lifestyle - but it certainly isn't for everyone. In particular, it isn't advisable for primary couples who aren't actually very much in love with each other and who don't have a very stable relationship. Poly doesn't solve problems, and shouldn't be approached as such. It *can* be very difficult surmounting one's insecurities, and I certainly have a lot of those.

For us, I honestly think that it tends to make us more attentive and engaged spouses. Go figure...

Not to sound too trite, but everyone has to find there own way to happiness, or at least contentment (the dictionary and I disagree on whether these are the same).

Our current national move back towards conservatism seems to have resulted in an attempt to solve divorce by moving back to a strict definition of marriage, teaching abstinence only education, and outlawing abortion. I'm assuming the hope here is that this will cause a larger quantity of marriages due to horny virgins and unplanned pregnancies. I think examining and possibly expanding the 'meaning' of marriage is better for everyone, especially considering the rigidity, almost slavery, in some cultures definition of the term.

I don't want to give marriage advice, because I notice that all of the conservative pundits and other relationship counselors giving advice on marriage have been divorced at least once. This would not be a problem if the advice was along the line of "Don't do what I did and...", but they all seem to gloss over this fact.

I just hope that it works out for you. I always assumed that polyamorous meant a group marriage, or at least 'wife swapping' within a group. What you're describing sounds to me to be more of an 'open marriage' arrangement.

From a safety perspective, the former is better than the latter. In any case, I hope you both stay safe in every sense of the word and that you find what you are looking for.

Stay well.

Do you make no distinction between a car salesman and a finance manager, or do you just keep forgetting? ( i know I've told you what i do )
IIRC you are an office manager. This is like me calling you a secretary.

I understand what you mean, it just makes me wonder because you seem to have graduated from the Alan Alda school for sensitive men, and should know that the distinction is important to me. I sold cars for 2 of the 10 years i've been in the car business. the first two. For someone who plays the caring/sensitive card, it seems like you might actually be just a little bit self absorpbed.

How that for insight, ya stuttering prick, ya? ;)

You and I seem to have the same "my jokes push your buttons" thing going from time to time. :) Yeah, I can be a little self absorbed, especially when my inhibitions are down. Otherwise, I work real hard to be humble and deferential the rest of the time. Anyway...sorry, I know you're a hard working SOB. You couldn't pay me enough to put in the hours you do. Further, I know that Finance Manager is an incredibly pressure-filled position. I couldn't do it. Too much of a pussy.

Now I'm gonna go cry...you beast.

Are you happy now, LJ? You made Elspode cry!

you didn;t get the Joe Pesci reference?

No. I missed it. Where?

ya stuttering prick. its from goodfellas, when he's asking him if he's a clown. stands him all up, rattles him. it's what i was doing to spodie.

'Splode , question you said your wife was going out with a friend , how does that work later ??? Uncomfortable silence ??
Or a big hand shake from him saying " Thanks Buddie , I was Needing THAT !!! "

No offence intended , just querious .

Din! Din! Din!
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!
Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
By the livin' Gawd that made you,
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!

:o

Captain Morgan and coke.

Just came back from seeing The Departed.

Lost of killing and swearing. Story was ok but a little to twisted and a sad commentary on humans.

None taken, man. No, in all honesty, I feel better about her being with someone I trust, someone who knows how to keep the play separate from the other stuff that makes up a relationship. I know he isn't going to try and posess her, spirit her away. As to uncomfortable silence, nah. Neither will he thank me, I'm sure...although I wouldn't put it past him to say, "Dude, your wife is a wildcat". :) There's nothing to thank me for. She isn't my property, I'm not "loaning" her out. His relationship with her and hers with him belongs to them, not me.

Yeah, I know...it is a whole different mindset. Trust me, it takes some effort on my part. I mean, I think that I am a fundamentally monogamous person, but even when I've been such, I've cheated - physically, mentally, emotionally - on a few occasions. So really, what is the difference here, except that we are honest with ourselves and with each other about what we want, what we do and would like to do?

I just keep coming back to the same notion...no one person can be everything to any other one person. In our case, our differences are very visceral. Our sexual proclivities, in particular, are vastly different, but we love each other and want to be together. So, do we let unacknowledged desires and unfulfilled notions slowly eat away at our insides until we are hollow, each blaming the other...or do we try something else?

It has been and will be an adventure. And what differentiates an adventure from any other pursuit is the element of doubt, the potenial for danger.