Women please vote
 

I've decided to post this thread because I think some people here don't realize that the issue of rape is serious and that many many women (and some men) are affected by it.

I'm asking the women who view this thread to vote honestly so that the men can realize that this is no joking matter.

Germaine Greer ( an Aussie feminist who now looks after ducks somewhere in England) says that women should not feel raped by rape . After all , what is rape ? Only a stiff ( and often not THAT stiff because of the booze) member in your vagina . Is your vagina YOU ? Yer bloody mind is stronger than that .

As a girl , Germaine Greer was raped in a car after a party by a person she knew . This is her way of being stronger than rape .

It may help some people who do not dare to say they have been raped .

Women deal with it , and get over it . THE RAPISTS GO TO PRISON .

AND THEY BELONG THERE

Everything can be serious and everything can be a joking matter. Often at the same time.

really? are you really saying that you think that i feel that rape is not a serious matter?

I'm not saying you think anything lumber. What I am trying to demonstrate with this thread is that there are many more women who are affected than you might think. Women you know through this forum even.

Women who might be just as affected by careless comments as I am.

No one would EVER be able to rape me .

Nothing should be off-limits when it comes to a joke.

But if in the terms of the law they did , they should go to prison for twenty years .

well, i know that there are. my prom date was raped. onyxcougar was raped horribly with a KNIFE! would it help you to tell us more about what happened to you? or would it be better to carry on with your life and not let it rule you? you are not a rape victim. unless you choose to be.

A huge percentage of rapes never even get reported let alone the perpetrators of the crime going to prison. That's a fact.

Have you been raped , Aliantha ?

I would never quote that dopey bitch Greer if I wanted to be taken seriously.

LJ - I agree with you, to a certain extent. You arent a victim unless you choose to be, but I believe that not everyone has the right kind of *makeup* to get past something like that.

That said, I dont know which *makeup* is the better one, because I personally believe to get past something like that....you lose something in doing so.

I have to say, "get past" really sounds trivial.
I moved-on & came to terms with being abducted and escaping as a child... getting past it? I don't know.
Discussing it in detail is still something I will not do.

I agree rkz. It (emotional/physical trauma) is not something that goes away just because you rationalize it, and it also becomes a part of who you are to some degree.

We are talking about women being raped , rkzenrage . Stop trying to make everything fit in with what you see as pain . Stop being so selfish . Sick people are far too selfish in general .

I know I seem hard . I am not .

Aliantha , have you been raped ?

Has anyone you love been raped , Aliantha ?

Yes and yes Buddug. Many years ago. It changed the course of my life, in some ways for the better if that makes any sense. In other ways it changed things for me for the worse. It's a matter of perspective and some days the positives are more prominent others it's the opposite.

That's not the point of this thread though. This is not a therapy session for me, and I think anyone who wants to has a right to comment including the men. I think that if in some way they have had experiences which help them understand then that's for the good although I feel very sorry that the world has to be this way sometimes.

Yeah, well, shoot me I guess for not wording it correctly...many apologies

Well , you say 'yes' and 'yes' Aliantha . Perhaps in a way you wanted to answer the question no one else asked . I think you are brave and lovely .

I think most of the others that viewed this thread already knew the answer Buddug. I don't think it was brave to be honest.

Why look for comfort amongst all these selfish Americans ?

They are all obsessed with themselves .

I'm not looking for comfort. If I want that, I get it from my family and friends. I also don't think all Americans are selfish, nor do I think any other group of people can all be classed as selfish - cept maybe the French but even they have a few saving graces as individuals.

Don't spend your fine feelings on people who only care about themselves , that is all I am saying , Aliantha .

And tomorrow when you wake up thinking 'oh no , I gave up a part of my soul ' when I typed that , and was I drunk ? And oh I am so sad for it is true after all .

Don't be afraid . The ordinary people will have forgotten , just another message , just another conversation , the mill turns .

Well , I will be strong and true , and I will remember what you said . What you said is a strong little bird that you allowed me to hold in my hand for a moment .

Well, for one thing, I'm not drunk today. lol And there's nothing little about me...or birdlike.

Anyway, thanks for your kinds words. I hope I don't regret thanking you tomorrow.

Go for it , Aliantha !

Jeez , these sheilas .

Good God speak for yourself.. you've been throwing around your holier than thou pompous crap all over the Cellar.

What does it take to make her go away again?

I don't know, I'm about ready to change my stance on firearms.

Aliantha

Much as I appreciate your motive in posting this question, and much as I respect you as an individual, I don't know if you can achieve your stated goal.

I had a friend who technically was date-raped (technically because she never accepted it was rape). It has never happened to me or anyone else close to me. Even if it had, I'd like to think I wouldn't flinch at the word Rape, or see it as a taboo subject for humour.

It would make me feel uncomfortable, and if I had been raped I agree the topic would probably revolt and distress me. But the bottom line is the criminal that raped me would be the person who had changed my life, not the person who made a joke/ comment all unaware of my personal circumstances.

There are very few people (IMO) who find rape as a topic amusing. Male or female. But telling people not to talk about it except in the most serious terms doesn't stop rape, and doesn't stop the victim from suffering.

You have my respect and sympathy (even if you don't want it) for what you have been through nonetheless.

Just my :2cents:

Back on subject...

I have never been raped. I only know one woman who said she was when she was younger, but I do not know her well enough to know details. I must assume that she was, as my impression of her is that she wouldn't lie about this type of thing.

As a kid, I do remember some older neighbor kids trying to get me to do some things with them, that would likely be considered sexual abuse (of me), but to be honest, I have blocked out the experience. I do get the creeps when I pass by their house, so I know *something* happened, though I know it wasn't rape--as in forced non-consensual intercourse.

I was lucky. However, I also lived at home during college and didn't party much because I had a steady boyfriend all through. I likely wasn't in nearly as many situations where rape is likely to occur.

the definition of rape
 

What about the proposed change in UK law, where a drunk woman may be found incapable of giving consent?

From here

interesting choice of words...
 

Oops! I'm sure they meant to say something less biased and sensationalistic.

This was an article in a national newspaper. Perhaps the objections simply did come from men.

"Perhaps" is a fine excuse for slanted journalism..the statement isn't accurate. It's a sexist way to present the issue.
Here is a debate on the issue, which doesn't consist exclusively of filthy, knuckle-dragging, rape-supporting men.

I don't get where you think this turned from a reasonable discussion about rape into a "lets kill all the men because they're rapists and we hate them" thread.

But hey - if we're going to have an intelligent discussion it's great that you have this person in your corner (male or female)

here (remember?)
 

__________________
What does that even mean? How is this person in my "corner" ???

I referenced an article froma respected broadsheet that happened to refer to men rather than people. You claimed this made it biased and sensationalistic.

Without then having any idea of the journalist's source, you claimed that the statement wasn't accurate.

You then referred me to a debate on the issue, in which at least one of the posters (quoted by me above) is not presenting a viewpoint any different from that you objected to in the article. Albeit less articulately.

I stand by my criticism of the article, specifically in regards to the poor choice of words.

I have offered no guarantee on the contents of the debate, other than the fact that both genders are represented.

this is flint flinging poo. let it go , SG. he's just baiting you.

in fact, Flint your new user title: Occasionally Flings Poo

did y'all hear about this one?
 

"If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat?" Sheik Taj Aldin al-Hilali

Comments like these are exactly why date rape cases are not reported to police.

this is what comes from giving women the vote.......

arsehole

ah.. now you're talking.......

That's more than a mere "comment"- that's a sermon to over 500 people! Yay religion!

I'm wondering if anyone is surprised by the results of this poll? Personally I'm not because I've done a fair amount of research in the area as you probably would all have guessed by now.

It's incredibly astounding to me that when over half the women who have voted on this poll have either been raped or narrowly avoided it, some people can still find the time to make jokes.

That is my point. This is not an issue that affects a few people. It affects over 25% of the population. That's a fairly huge wack wouldn't you say?

aw, cmon. that was some funny shit!

I would imagine the newspaper reporters only asked men for their reaction to the law, or at least lumped them into a section of male reaction. That's because most people think of women victims when rape is mentioned.
That's unfortunate, as rape is not exclusively a male on female crime. Many boys are raped and men in prison know the problem well.:(

I just wanted to thank the people who voted on this thread. I realize it takes courage to do what you did and it means just as much that you could say what you did even though it was anonymously.

I hope that even though some people will never understand what you've been though, they may at least have had pause to consider your anguish and in future, maybe things will be different for you and for me.

My problem with this sentence:
...is that it should have been written like this:

Some claim that the reforms will place an impossible burden on men to show that the woman agreed to sex if she had had a few drinks beforehand.

Otherwise it implies that men, exclusively, object to this law - which is inaccurate and inflamatory.
I don't think a professional journalist could be this naive about semantics. If they are, it's just incompetence.
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@Aliantha: Sorry, if I hijacked your thread. These were a couple of current news items I thought were worthy of discussion.

I agree to a point. Date rape can be gotten over, but when there's violence involved it is way so much more than just a stiff one.

No, it just means that's the strongest negative reaction they could find and who it came from.
You don't think they got a negative reaction from women, do you? The law isn't to protect women from dogs, or men from women, it's clearly women from men. :rolleyes: