On the subject of love letters
 

Hrm, ok, first a quick back-story to set the stage...

Met a girl abroad, decided to give it a go, went well, blossomed nicely, logged a lot of frequent flyer miles, and now I'm currently pursuing getting a new position in her home city, at which point we plan on giving "the next level" a shot. Looking forward to it.

But... the thing that sets me off a bit is the "love letters". Don't get me wrong, she's not psycho, or spamming my inbox with them or anything, but occassionally she will send a very sweet, well-voiced love letter.

I'm not sure how to respond. I'm free enough with my emotions that I can express my sentiment openly. But I don't really need a full letter to express the length and breadth of my emotion. The truth is I feel like a cheese-ball when I write a long love letter. It feels so... plastic. I can say directly how I feel, or I can spend 4 paragraphs talking about the moon and flowers and all that jazz.

I appreciate her love letters, I just don't know how to respond. What's the etiquette here? Should I respond back with a gushing letter of my own? Or simply acknowledge her sentiment? And that brings up another set of disturbing questions...

If I respond with a long gushy love letter that I'm simply doing because I feel "it's appropriate", doesn't that just cheapen the whole thing? But what if I *don't* respond in kind, will that send off warning signals that maybe I just don't care enough?

Ah, the fickle female. A difficult beast to understand.

I think if you know each other well enough the length of your letter is of no relevance. In my opinion it would be the words and expression you use in which you voice yourself that weighs more heavily. From my experience, women are able to express how they feel in words more easily, not saying that men can't, just that they do, or I do at least...and am just looking for some sort of confirmation to my beliefs - whether I am way off base or not - in return. And more than that, just honesty in general. I definitely do not believe in saying something just because you feel like you need to say it back, or because you feel like it's expected. Just be who you are...say what you feel, and do it respectfully. As I said before, at least in my opinion, length has no relevance.

I suggest that you write
a single verse or maybe two.
Something not too trite;
if you can't ryhme, you can haiku.

Well said, KinkyVixen. I think women tend to put their feelings into words more often than men do, and sometimes men just don't understand the fact that it's just simply a statement of feelings.

Reply with what you feel, not what you think is expected. I, for one, find a few words much more meaningful than a whole page of words that I'm sure aren't from the heart.

If I was the long love letter writing type, I wouldnt expect a similar letter in return.

Me, I'm the long waffley scattered letter writer and I am soooo glad I dont get like letters in return.

I would just avoid anything along the lines of "I concur" or "Me too" ;)

Honestly, girls I know, like to know where they stand and if they can read about it in black & white...all the better.

Just say what you feel comfortable saying, dont jazz it up too much, if thats not the kinda person you are in real life.

Good Luck :)

Doesn't sound like she's being fickle to me, riddil. Whatever you answer choose your words more carefully than that!

Don't write anything back. Send a package of goodies instead. Not necessarily expensive ones, just fun ones that play off something between you two and show that you are thinking about her. And mail them in a huge box. And flowers. Send them sparingly and randomly. And not 1-800-flowers but google the florist closest to where she lives and tell the florist what you are up to and to throw in some chocolates from the chocolate shop next door.

i agree with limey. if you write a letter back, you may want to consider a thesaurus. just a suggestion. :o

curious as to why a "love letter" sets you off. as evidenced by your post, you articulate well. perhaps seeing emotions in black and white have an unsettling effect on you.

First of all, this is a fabulous idea (and a poem on it's own merit) but if you can't write any of your own, select a good one from a famous poet and send it on to her (please credit poet) OR you could begin a mild form of e-mail sex, which, is always, always fun.

I perfer the outrageous form of email sex, but, that's just moi.

That's it! - combine the poetry and outrageous email sex.

Girl I often think of you
when I wack to bust a nut.
Your booty drives me so insane
Let's do it in the butt.

Excellent idea, Beestie. If you throw in something that she knows means a lot to you, I guarantee her heart will melt!

You know,*SNIFF* some people wouldn't appreciate a ditty like that.


I'm not one of them.

Eh, the "fickle female" comment wasn't about HER, it was about women in general. The whole basis of my original post was basically if I wrote a short to-the-point response I may get in trouble. If I write a long email I risk being a phoney.

So "fickle female" is nothing more than a mental sigh that should be translated, "Ah, I really wish I didn't have to think about things like this."

Of course, now you see why writing a long love letter can be such bad news for me! What I mean to say, and what I actually say don't always match up. I've written more than one "sweet" letter that's ended up getting me in hot water. :eek:

Goddammit! That made my coffee come out my nose! :coffee:

The sunlight dies
like the life in your eyes
your mouth full of mud
I shudder and cum blood.

Can you believe there are women who aren't impressed with that?!

Pearls before swine!
Pearl-necklaces before swine?

Babe I like your front side too
You've noticed that I stare
I always think about your cooch
and how you make it bare
And while I like the look of it
without that bushy hair
The feel of it is why I wish
to get all up in there.

I'll be like Nipsey Russell of porn or something

Thats...just....umm...beautiful UT!!

You could rival Hallmark with those lil gems

Your good Undertoad! Do you make them up as you go? :)

Theres a career there for the taking UT

So go with the gifts/flowers, but beware of chocolate if she is struggling with her weight. Two small really expensive chocolates may be better than a bucket-load of cheapos!

You see? And it all started out as a joke. I want commish.

So which was it? :lol: /gasp /wheeze /kneeslap

I slay myself.

I'm glad you think you're so funny. You've gone down inestimably in my view.









HA!

GOTCHA!

Riddil:

Speak in your own voice. This is most important. If that voice sounds like long gushy love letters, ok. If that voice sounds like "Hey, this other guy wrote this poem and it says what I feel", fine. If your voice sounds like "I like receiving the letters, but I'm a talker, not a writer", fine, but say so. If your voice is gifts or service or something else, fine, use it. However, I think (my own two cent's worth) that it is important to acknowledge the letters in some way. Don't ignore them because your can't/won't write the same way.

Use *your* voice. But use it.

UT, you are a renaissance man. I love those poems. More!

UT, if you don't turn those gems into a Spinal Tap-esque song of rock-and-roll excess I will. Well, no I won't cause I doubt I can write enough more to make a song out of them, but... mneh.

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo!

My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game is waiting there inside her tights!