Interesting Thought of the Day
 

Sometimes, but not always, I have an interesting thought...at least one that I call interesting...

So for today...

As I was walking, and my pants were about to fall to my ankles...I remembered...I have major white girl booty. I need a butt. Now, I realize that God didn't grant me with that gift, but seriously, I can't even keep my pants in place...with or w/o a belt. Do they make a pump for that? Or a pill? Anything?

Here ya go!! http://www.bodyimplants.com/buttock_implants.html. I saw a Discovery Health Channel program on this once, it looked (and was described as) incredibly painful..ugh!

Stormie

I can sympathize. Also born with no butt. I can't put stuff in my pockets or there's a real danger of the pants heading south. I call it a bad case of noassatall. :lol:

I often ponder.....

If my hipsters keep falling down....does that mean my arse is too big or not big enough?

Buttcrackette is such a bogan look after all.

You actually want someone to feel empathy for "baby got NO back?":lol: :eyebrow: I think not. Go to Shoneys restaurant they will give you 2 balloons if you ask! ;)

Nah, the sympathy factor doesn't really interest me at all. I know that no amount of bitching I do will fix my butt-less problem...it was an interesting thought though, like the title says. And I seriously was wondering, if they make pills or something like that...it looks as though implants are my only option. That won't be happening so I guess I'll just deal with my problem.

New thought for this day...
 

....someone comes in...and the best of my observation tells me this dude is high as a kite. Not only are his eyes red, and half open, he wreeks of weed and cologne. Now, I was just wondering, is his over induldgence of cologne pure paranoia? or does he actually believe that his cologne actually diminishes the smell of him just having hot boxed it in his car on the way to bank?

In my experience I would say that he is trying to hide the fact that he's faded like no other, but to do this, he would also need a few drops of visine in his eyeballs. My experience also leads me to believe that he does in fact believe that his cologne hides the weed smell...but speaking from the experience that I do have, it only hightens my awareness and makes me over think the whole situation (if that's not already obvious).

nevermind...

Everyone that knows me well enough keeps asking me what's wrong. I don't even think it makes any sense and the only thing I keep thinking in the back of my mind as an explanation is...."it's just....my heart hurts" but how much sense can I expect others to make of that when it doesn't even make sense to me?

Is this a chronic poetic pain, or do you actually feel as though you are suffering from angina?

Chronic. Poetic. It stems from being the type of girl who can be hurt and still look at you and smile. The type of girl who is willing and able to brighten your day even when she can't brighten her own.

And that's the best kind of girl to be around, and when a man worthy of having a girl that great finds her, she will have a bright day.

And every now and then one chooses a man who isn't near good enough... sometimes it ends badly... and sometimes you end up like me, and stay together... 1 year and five months, as of today, thus far.

Maybe, like Dorothy, you have to leave Kansas for awhile to brighten your life. :eyebrow:

Ibram - I think my problem, at least at the moment, is that I'm the one that doesn't feel worthy - of having a guy that great. There is a guy who tells me I have a healing effect (when he has a rough day, or whatever), and that I make him happy.
But what about me? When do I heal and when do I get to be happy?

I realize that some people do get together (for the right reasons) and stay together (for the right reasons) but in this day and age and the experiences I have witnessed first hand those types of relationships seem few and far between. They get married put up with all the BS and then get divorced. Fun.

All that aside I am hopeful...and I know that one day I will heal. But at that point, will it be too late?

Congrats on your year! : )

:cool: XO, it's not Kansas that is the problem, even though it is pretty flat and boring. Thanks for the suggestion tho. I've been out of Kansas many times...and enjoy every second of it, but am always ready to come home. A vaction however, may just be what the doctor ordered.

Speaking for Men, I just want to say that we suck, we know we suck, and we can't help it. It is genetic. However, some of us try real hard not to suck quite as badly. I do hope you find one of us who falls into that category.

Now...please tell us more about your pants falling off.

Question; have you told anyone, besides us, that you need healing?

There are people that exude warmth and calm, having a healing aura that envelopes those around them. Everyone assumes those people have all their shit in one sock and don't need any help...don't need support.....or healing.
Don't make the mistake of waiting until somebody figures it out...speak up. ;)

...keeping in mind that, with 90% of the men you attempt to make aware of your condition, anything you say will be interpreted by them as "do me".

I did mention that most of us suck, right? Except for me and Bruce and a few other Cellarites, that is.

KV, I kinda figured that was an issue... that's why I tried to reassure you that it's THEM that aren't worthy of YOU, not the other way around.

First off I'm aware that not all men suck. I've actually only come across a few that have affected me in a way that would make me say "geez, you suck!". I know that a lot of the feelings at the moment come from confusion and hurt more than fact or reality. I'm not afraid to let them take their half of the blame when necessary, but I'm also willing to own up to mine.

And, for the record, my pants haven't been falling off...i've been faithful to the belt. It's better that way. :D
I must have been up to something though...I wonder what I've been doing.

I don't suck, everyone else just needs to lighten-up.

Answer: :p

I have kind of spoken up. Not really. In some ways yes, but mostly only to people that don't really know all of me, like my beliefs and background - my core, if that makes sense. Most of all I have a really hard time letting other people do things for me, depending on them, or relying on them. I think that comes from being a middle child, as well as always seeming to be let down when I did let myself rely on people. Maybe it's because I don't express that I actually am depending on them? Maybe it's because I expect too much? Either way it always turns out to be a bad thing. So that's why I have a hard time doing it.

The ones I should probably "speak up" the most to are the ones I am quietest too. That's weird too, and I'm not really sure why but I'm working on it. :thumb:
Thanks for the encouragement.

And I'd just like to end by saying. The last couple of days were just hard I guess. I'm feeling lots better today.

Glad you're feeling better, KV. It is tough learning how to rely on other people when you've been let down. Really tough. I try, but I just can't do it ...:(

:eyebrow: Admiral Windwagon Smith told me I have nice feet...:confused: :redface: :3_eyes: :thepain3:

Uh...

I know, weird right. Foot fetish much?

I think you broke my brain.

Really?!?! Wow, I'm pretty powerful then. How did I do that?

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

In Loving Memory
 

What's up with all the vehicles driving around that have "In loving Memory of ..." posted on their cars with stickers? Do people really use money given to them from a loved one to buy their cars and then designate it to their memory? Is that just a Midwest thing? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I can't actually say that I don't have a family member that hasn't done the same thing in a different manner. I'm just wondering, is that happening all over the place or is it just here? I bet 5 out of 10 cars I saw on the way to work had stickers like that in their back windows.

I think it's this year's magnetic ribbon.

The only setting where that doesn't look out of place is on a police car. When we had an officer killed in a rollover vehicle accident the replacement vehicle was dedicated to him.

The Secret

don't worry, nobody has the
beautiful lady, not really, and nobody has the strange and
hidden power, nobody is
exceptional or wonderful or
magic, they only seem to be
it's all a trick, an in, a con,
don't buy it, don't believe it.
the world is packed with
billions of people whose lives
and deaths are useless and
when one of these jumps up
and the light of history shines
upon them, forget it, it's not
what it seems, it's just
another act to fool the fools
again.
there are no strong men, there
are no beautiful women.
at least, you can die knowing
this
and you will have
the only possible
victory.


( by some old guy, He died in the 80's. When we look at our own mortality we all come to the same conclusion)

No, it is in FL too and is tacky as hell. Makes me miss Calvin pissing on stuff... perhaps soon he will be pissing on some kid's grave.

It's whatever you trick yourself to believe...that sucks. It's not worth it to me to lie to myself.

Ah! Good ol Calvin. I miss that guy. Some of the things he pissed on were actually pretty amusing. I'm glad to know though that it's not just happening here in Kansas. I wonder what the next trend will be?

Love the Jack Handey!
"If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something."

lol...I love me some Jack Handey too...how about these?

Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then at the very end, there's a page you can lick, and it tastes like Kool-Aid.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy, and people will try to catch you, because hey, free dummy.

If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion, or the tiger, or even the elephant. It's a shark, riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

It's easy to sit there and say you'd like more money, and I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy, just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.

I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes. Hey, better try the emergency brake.

It's funny, but when you look at an old man, then you look at a photo of him when he was a young man, then look back at the old man, then the photo, back and forth, pretty soon you'll do whatever anybody tells you to.


LOL...ok, I'm done...there are a billion more out there that are funny...i'm just tired of reading. :)

A few more
 

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.


If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

OMG I just can't help myself! :D

Those are awesome Shawnee! I've never heard the soldering iron one! That's classic. Thanks for sharing!

Anyone ever wake up and realize that they were someone or some thing they never intended to be?

Yes, all those acolytes are so noisy....sigh. ;)

I never really intended to be anything... so no.

Yup... older than 30.

Married. In the military. Bald.
Any one of those things would have made me run screaming with the heebie-jeebies as a teen. One day, though, I looked at all my possibilities: college and the professional world, a blue-collar job, factory work, etc. etc. and realized that the civilian world, for now, was not for me. Just too damned boring. As for losing my hair... I LOVE IT. I shaved my head, and I never ever have to worry about that crap again. Freedom. And I'm way more aerodynamic.
And Ibram... give it time. Seen American Beauty lately? Don't Let It Happen To You. Just remember, WOMEN ARE EEEEEVIL. Except the cellarites, of course- they're all very charming, intelligent ladies.

I'm half-kidding, AG. I dont aspire to be nothing; I dont aspire at all. I just do.

Oh, Jeez...now you've gone and done it. You've made me stop and realize that I'm almost 50, making a stinking 40k a year, living with a woman who alternately thinks I'm the laziest, stupidest male ever, then telling me how great I am and how much she loves me. I have a handicapped son, four broken down cars, a heart bypass and an ileostomy, I'm losing my hair, fighting diabetes, and have the attention span of a speck of dust. I've got $5.75 in the bank right now and I'm about to own two houses.

Now I wish I hadn't sold my goddamn pistol when I was even more broke. :neutral:

What I really wanted was to be a lumberjack...leaping from tree to tree...

If you woke up one day and realized that you hadn't touched a musical instrument in 20 years, or even been exposed to any new music during that time, wouldn't that crush you just a little bit?

Probably, but like I said, I just do. It's hard to see where you're going if you're looking back over your shoulder; it's hard to see where you're going if you're looking too far ahead. I live for the now and for, oh, about a year or two into the future at most.

Are you stalking me?

Why is it that when it "rains it pours"? Not literally, but figuratively. Is it perception that makes me feel this way, or is my life actually pouring all of it's bullshit onto my head hoping that I'll tread water long enough to breathe?