December 20, 2007: Sex sells!
 

http://cellar.org/2007/SexyCoffin.jpg

Despite appearances, what you see here is not your basic softcore goth porn (well, at least not intentionally.) It is, in fact, a promotional sales item. Not for the lingerie, not for the shoes... for the coffin! The Italian undertaker firm Cofanifunebri has released their 2008 corporate calendar, featuring sexy models draped across their merchandise.

"Coffins are consumer goods like any other things, so I sell in the same way as any other consumer goods are sold," said owner Maurizio Matteucci. "The calendar is very popular."

"It is good marketing, but it is also a way to play down such a serious subject and to smile."

Why am I thinking that her vampyre lover is in there?

Boy Zen and Shawnee are gonna have a field day with this one.

If I had a terminal illness, and was making all the final arrangements for myself in order to not be a burden on my family, I can see getting a kick out of this advertising. But if my loved one died and I was frantically trying to line all the stuff up on short notice, I would be less receptive.

Gloomy Glatt.

If I see this ad on TV, then I'd be pissed.

Gloomy? The topic of the thread is coffin sales.

Pretty fancy coffin. Cremation for me. Throw me in the ocean so I can travel.

That's what happens to most people and how many people know the name of even one coffin maker?

This way they get the brand before the public in a upbeat manner. Then when the frantic time is dropped on you, one name might prompt a glimmer in the back of your head.
I'll bet there normal sales tools, for the frantic people, are much more subdued.

What i mean is that you're not seeing the fun in the picture.

Admit it Drax - you already bought one just cuz of the hot chick.

The whole thing reminded me of Six Feet Under. During the first couple of shows they had some spoof ads that imitated the Gap ads of the time--about a dozen young people in khakis and white shirts doing a well-choreographed song and dance about mortician tools and funeral home supplies.

I've read that you can be cremated and shot up in a firework-thats the way I want to go :blownup:

I wanna be jewelry.

Don't.

Am I the only one reminded of the scene in the movie "Saint Elmo's Fire"? Where the guy has a coffin in his room, just in case a hot chick is around to have sex on the coffin? A veritable chick magnet. Ever since that flick I've fantasized about having sex with a hot chick on a coffin. Not all the time, just every now and then. I made out with a hot chick in a grave yard once, it was coooool.

:rotflol:

you can browse through their calendars 2003-2008 here: http://www.cofanifunebri.com/cofanifunebri-mania.htm

Surprisingly no pictures of the interior design of the merchandise.

There was a thread about that somewhere.... hmm.

sorry - bad joke.

That's a pretty stiff challenge. I wasn't a wake when it was posted. Of corpse, I'll do my best, and if I get with the plot and get interred swing of of things, it should be bury easy.

Nah, I don't have much here. Shawnee? Shall we make it a his and hearse thing?

Don't do it, Zen, it's a plot by classic to get us inter trouble. I understand, I bereaved him before, too, but the fact remains he does not urn our trust. Inquest for a really good guy, I aspired to good but cot evil. Disinter evil is the marker of our demise.

After Zen + Shawnee I want one so long as it revolves by itself and the occupant doesn't have to.

that's pretty cool. i wonder why the yellow ones are so much cheaper than the other colors?

They're made in China.

oh no you di'int!

LOL @ Zen & Shawnee!!!

I thought maybe the yellow ones were for the pimps. It ain't easy burying a pimp.

I think it's because artificial diamonds usually turn out yellow rather than colorless unless you use more expensive processes. And differently-colored diamonds require chemical doping.

:lol:

that was someone else laughing. honest.

that is very cool.

you want one after Zen and Shawnee have had a turn on it? eeeew.

And who thought Italian chicks could look so hot.:rolleyes:

:eek:

When you get cremated, the coffin goes up in smoke too, and you still need one for the service.

I would imagine that the coffin maker sells his wares to funeral homes, so the calendar is for people already in the industry. Probably not intended for the end user at all, unless you happen to be one of those freaky people who like to plan out their funeral way ahead of time (like my recently passed grandmother-in-law).

That is subject to local laws. We confuse tradition with law sometimes, which gives the undertaker an edge. There is a growing movement toward do it yourself coffins. You could use it for an end table, wet bar, or entertainment center for a few years first... I bet you could be torched in a cardboard box.

I don't think that is correct in the US. When creamated only the body gets the fire so as not to mix the ash of all the other stuff with the casket.

from wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cremation

Heh!
Check out the wiki link above. In each picture of the guy doing the cremation he has a cig in his mouth, even when above open ashes of the persons remains!

That cremulator looks like a garbage disposal to me.

These Ecopod coffins look pretty cool to me. Still too expensive.

Very cool... if you leave out the GW bit of putting it on a plane to fly it to the States.

I'd like a tube of good soil with an apple tree growing out of the top. That should be easy to pull off.

Yea, I wonder what those apples would eventually taste like?

chicken. duh.

I think you mean long pig.