If I showed up at your door
 

Like tonight, before you go to bed. I've been divorced or on the run from something. And I ended up in your town by chance, vaguely remembered your name and looked you up in the phone book.

So you're all like "who are you, what do you want?", and I'm all like "It's me, blue58...you know, from the cellar".

"Anyway I'm in a bit of a jam, and I know you don't know me from Adam, but I could really use a place to stay for a coupla days"

What would you do, and I mean if it truly happened like this for me or any other cellar member? Looking for totally honest replies here, although smartass comments are indeed welcome and expected (and appreciated), but want some serious thoughts too.

Unless you appeared to be an obvious problem, ie wearing gang colours- exuding a powerfully disgusting smell- carrying a weapon of any sort- stoned or drunk- carrying a bible etc etc...., I would be happy to help in any way possible.

If a cellar member was in serious need for a place to crash for a few days, there wouldnt be a problem.

If the cellar member wouldnt object to having my Glock pointed at their head until they logged in to prove their identity, they could crash in my second bedroom. For a few days.

You'd have to be seriously desparate to want to stay here though. Fort Slang is the polar opposite of the Undertoad estate. Not a lot you'd find interesting or appealing here.

But as for the regulars that I have met, we could skip the identity login/ Glock to temple process. This would apply to even those that I personally find the most annoying.

You might find some temporary shelter, but you'd be listening to me tell you how irritating and wrong some of your opinions in a given post have been.

Overall though, I think this is actually a pretty civil and generous group and I'm glad that people tolerate me here. If a member was in serious need, I'd help them if I could.




Even you Jag.










(But ooohh the lecture you'd get before you crashed..........wow.)

I'd pick you up where ever you were calling from, get you something to eat, then drop you at LJ's house.
No seriously, we'd talk while you ate and I if was uncomfortable, I'd put you in a motel, prepaid with cash, of course.;)

Same here... it would totally depend on what it was that got you into the situation.

Divorce etc., no problem, come on in, we've got plenty of good booze in the house.

If you were, say, covered in blood and asking to borrow the shovel, well then I'd have to insist you hosed off in the yard first--I'm very neurotic about stains. :)

In any case though, I have to admit I'm very leery of people wanting to stay for "a coupla days." I'd likely only go for one night, unless there were a very established deadline, like "my brother can wire me money as soon as he gets paid again" or "I'll surrender myself on Thursday, after I've seen the new South Park."

Five business days. That's plenty of time to arrange other accomodations or convince me something was happening that would get you taken care of.

All that depends on what the committee says of course...

I'd ask jinx what to do.

better safe than sorry.

i would worry that you could be some crazy freak with an alter id online. there would be no way for me to know for sure if you were really who you are online. i would be afraid to open the door. i am generally suspicious and a little untrusting when it comes to strangers asking for my help...now, if i had some way to check your background and prove 100% that you are the person that you seem to be here at the cellar, i would let you in and help you out...it's just that - how would i know??

I would probably say "come on in" and apologize for the lack of a spare comfortable place to sleep.

I've had a person from atypedigital come by at about one a.m. asking for a place to stay for the week... but then, I'd known him in real life for a few years, so it's a different scenario altogether.

"OK, listen; from time to time somebody goes nuts and makes more of me that they're supposed to, because I appear to run the place. Nothing pisses me off worse. I don't know why you picked me but I gotta assume that's why. And I gotta admit, I think that's very fucked up.

"On the other hand, sure maybe you didn't have anywhere else to go. OK, here's what we'll do. Tonight, you can stay at the Hampden Inn on me. Tomorrow, you come back here, I'll make you some eggs and we can start a thread on this. I'm pretty sure if you really need help, we can figure this out."

I used to be much more free about this stuff before I got kids. I'd ask Jim to ask Jinx.

:haha: :haha: :haha:

Even a driver's license would not be sufficient. How the old standards have fallen. Today's new standards for identification - The Cellar.

I think the Cellar is a higher standard.

Any monkey can get a driver's license. Give me a couple of days and a little money and I can have several DL's with different names that would pass any visual test.

"The Cellar. The new standard of Excellence!"

Another idea.

If you can survive a year as a resident of the Cellar you can be considered a citizen and can vote.

Heinlein anyone? Anyone?

A few years ago, my oldest son came home with a lost soul in tow. My stepkids were still pretty young at the time. The kid had a sob story about being away from home, no money, no place to stay. He even called his alleged mom to verify his story, but she sounded like any other woman to me. For all I knew, she could have been his accomplice in something.

To make a long story short, I gave the kid a nice hot meal, all the cash I had ($20), told him the names of a couple of public assistance services, and wished him luck.

I couldn't take the risk of letting him stay over for a day or two (which was what he wanted). I have a family to consider, and I simply knew *nothing* about him. So I did what my conscience told me. I helped him, but not as much as I would have helped a Cellarite with a provable identity.

The Cellar eventually showed the human side of Radar and the comedian in Quzah. TW is a work in progress.:)

Sorry blue. I don't think a passing acquaintance on the net equates to a "friend you can crash with" IRL. A net relationship is not the same thing as a real life relationship.

I also would offer an established Cellarite crash space for a short period of time. As long as you don't mind the floor (no extra bed and I do NOT share mine) and a semi-friendly pit bull terrier sleeping on your leg. He's so cute when he does the head-on-knee thing ;)

I tend to be lonely up here in the boondocks and could use some company. That said, I also cannot afford to be feeding freeloaders for very long. I might offer a lift to another place or the local assistance office (assuming I can find it) if needed.

Dagney may have a different opinion, but she doesn't live here (yet).

Brian

undertoad's post confused me...did he actually come knocking on your door, UT?

No, that's what I would say if he did.

I'd be very leery. If I could afford it, I'd put you up in a hotel. I reciently had a bad experience with getting used by a group of people on another message board. I'm not a 100% beliver in online communites at this stage.

I will trust again but that will take some time.

waitaminit
 

Blu...are you trying to sound us all out because you need crash space and are just trying to figure out whose door to show up at when?

The things I think of....

heinlein is (unfortunately) a dream. paranoia rules.

If I ever fall that far from grace it'll be the least of my worries.

I would lend assistance as possible, as needed, but feel sure I'd draw the line at opening my home. Now, are there any Cellarites in Italy interested in renting out some space?

What? Whazzat?:confused:

It's a referrence to Heinlein's book Starship Troopers.

Ignore the movie, it's just another Voerhoven (sp) bomb.

In ST you had to sign up for civil service to be considered a full citizen and be able to vote and such. It was a short book and didn't go into too much detail. Civil service included police, military, gov't service and so on.

If I can find it, there is a website for a group who would like to see similar standards in place. I'll get back with it if I can find it.

There's always the shower scene.

That's true, Dinah Myer is hot, even if she does have fried egg boobs.

Actually, if you watch the movie as if it were a propaganda film made by the government in the universe portrayed, it is actually pretty creepy.

I'd ask you point blank if you were running from the law. If so, I'd ask why. If I liked the reason, I'd look left, look right, let you in and tell you how to get far from here in short order. If I didn't like the reason or if I smelled a rat (i.e., you "accidentally in self-defense" killed someone), I would send you packing and probably contact the authorities.

If it turned out that you weren't running from the law, I'd be pretty helpful but, honestly, with a family, I wouldn't let you stay at my house but would help you get decent food and decent shelter (i.e., not the homeless shelter).

And I would ask you not to bleed on my carpet :)

Originally posted by OnyxCougar They have the same vertical profile. :)

I'd have to really think about that.



I don't think I'd let you stay at the house, but I would probably help you make other arrangments, i.e. pay for a night at a hotel, etc.

It's funny, but I'd feel much more comfortable helping out with cash than opening up my home to someone I don't know. Mainly because I'd have to spend 3 hours explaining to you how the wife's antique collections are arranged, why they are not to be touched, and which pillows are for using and which ones are for decoration.

-s[captiveinhisownhome]m

I first heard this joke from a little old man at a jewelry store where I worked (a long time ago -- when I was young). The guy was older than Moses. Reminded me of the really old guy in the Tim Conway routine -- even had the shuffle.

----

A man goes into the lingerie department and the lady behind the counter asks if she can be of assistance. The man says yes, he'd like to buy his wife a pretty bra for their anniversary, but is not sure of her bra size.

So the women tries to ask him questions to figure it out.

"Are her breasts as big as cantaloupes?"

"No", says the man. "They're smaller than that."

"Are her breasts as big as grapefruit?"

"No", says the man. "They're smaller than that."

"Are they as big as oranges?"

"No", says the man. "They're smaller than that."

"Well, are they as big as eggs?"

The man's face lights up. "Yes", he says. "Fried."

:thumb: I like!

Let's put it this way: for someone that I know (family, close friends), I wouldn't have that big of a problem in trying to work something out (and hope to God that they won't fuck me over in the long run).

For someone that I didn't know, I'd have to take precaution. If I don't know you from a hole in the ground (regardless of being on The Cellar), then we may have a problem (at least on my end...Syc may feel different).

And that's my honest answer.

So if i just said "fuck it" and brought that $1499 ticket to new york and brought some old car once i got there and drove round to visit you all at leats i know now i have your support. so watch out.

Ive always had an affection for the ol US of A anyway. i never fell into the predictable "europe" trap that every other aussie fell into.

ive broken up with my partner. ive nothing else to dag around here for - fuck it - im coming to stay at your place (only for a couple a days...)

Im thinking it should take me about 3-4 months to save up to get there. i wanna see it all - i dont care if im sleeping in the back of a car. i wanna see mostly - new york, nashville, texas, kentucky, alabama, go to disneyland, grand canyon, hollywood and do an audition, i wanna go to california and lay on the sand, all the best nightclubbs, down the bottom there near jamaica, all of it!

I double dog dare you to set foot in my neighborhood. :borg:

i can handle it!! watch me!!


oh and i wanna see a meatloaf concert while im there too. he neva comes to Aus anymore.

Probably you'ld be shot at the doorstep for tresspassing.

The best beaches are on the east coast. Nashille, Texas, Kentucky, Alabama are in the "fly over states". They're called that for a reason - just fly over them. :D Don't miss Philadelphia (where a lot of Cellarites are), Washington, DC, Chicago.

do it, S_S.

I'm getting in gear to do it on a bike, and camp my way across the U.S.A.

yeah, you'll be single for about 2 weeks. then all this will go right out the window. but, just is case you do make it out here, be sure to visit the philly area. we'll leave a light on for you.

I'd be wanting to know just how bad the trouble is that you're in, to travel all the way to my place.

I'd give you a nice hot meal (I may be a student but I'm a pretty damn good cook), but I wouldn't let you stay the night. I don't know you IRL, and even though I'm hospitable I do want to know what kind of person I'm allowing to be present during my most vulnerable state.

You mean you fart in your sleep? :p ;)

I couldn't help anyone out of the blue. My life skills aren't robust enough at present to deal with unexpected guests. But with 24-48 hour notice I'd take anyone in overnight.

If it was someone I had had PM contact with, or felt an affinity with, then I would do all I could even if it disaccommodated me personally. A random poster who I rarely engaged with would get the best I could offer for a night - hot meal, use of facilities etc.

I don't have much but I'm willing to share (most) of it. And I used to be good in a crisis at least.

My friends used to joke that I'd be the person they went to if they killed someone, because I'd be all about practical solutions (a la Shallow Grave) rather than fainting away in horror. I don't know that I liked being identified as so amoral, but at least I'm good for something.

Great. Now, if I'm stranded in Britain, I'm going to have to sleep in the tube station for two nights until Sundae Girl tidys up enough to allow me in.

There goes that plan for abandoning all responsibility and living the poet's life.

Els, you could come and stay with me (if you can swim)!

No prob SG , we have a spare bed room ( If you can put up with all the Barbie dolls that is )

Oh and that crack about the "Fly over states " ,
you can just BITE ME ,
there is some Beautiful scenery and good folks here in the back woods !

It would be the truly American experience to visit many dwellars. The vast country would be part of the story, as opposed to Times Square and monuments and museums.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but in order to get the full American experience, you should drive an SUV to the big box store lot, cook a massive size piece of awesome Costco beef on the gas grill, go see a game at the stadium, drink that night at the Dave and Buster's until you can't play the games any longer.

Then the next day, head out to Zippy's for a drift on the creek. Don't swim out to where they swing off the rope into the water. The little one hain't got enough sense yet to avoid jumping on top of you.

I'd probably let any of you stay if you showed up at my door. Even LJ. :) My reason would be that if I trusted you enough to actually give you my address, then if you turn out to be an axe murderer it was unavoidable anyway.

You can see the scenery from the plane. :stickpoke :devil: :bolt:

You spelled 'especially' wrong.





You want me, admit it.

lol...sorry LJ. You're really not my type.

oh darn

I can just imagine you're shattered

devastated

I bet you'll get over it though