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-   -   CNN suckage (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=9871)

Undertoad 01-16-2006 08:25 AM

CNN suckage
 
Jesus. I just wanted to document this 60 seconds of complete non-news stupidity of morning anchors covering this really difficult story, "It's warm". As some of you know I often watch cable news as background as I work by myself. This bold dialogue took place on Friday morning and I'm sure it will mark a high point in the channel's history. From their official transcript.

Quote:

MILES O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: Good morning. I'm Miles O'Brien.
Warm weather in cold country. We're watching the temperature go in an unexpected direction.

What is going on here? A little hot in here.

It was nearly 60 degrees in Buffalo yesterday. Yes, Buffalo, the land of spicy wings and deep snow banks, if you catch my drift. Even the Great White North is not so white. In Ontario, record-breaking temperatures there.

And in the Southeast this morning, rolling thunder. A summer- like storm spurning tornado warnings as we speak. This shot coming to you from WBRC in Birmingham, Alabama.

Yikes, Auntie Em. The calendar and the country seem inside out. It is summer in January.

Carol Costello outside overlooking Central Park. It's in the mid 40s, due to get up in the mid 50s, which is about 10 degrees shy of what it should be in New York City today.

Carol, good morning.

CAROL COSTELLO, CNN ANCHOR: I'm telling you, yikes, Auntie Em is definitely right, because take a look at the weather. It' sunny, but there's fog. And I'm out here without a coat, and it is January in New York City.

Yesterday we went up to 61 degrees. There were people outside in shorts.

There are two schools of thought. Some people say, oh, don't talk about the warm weather because you're going to jinx it and it's going to end. And then there's a second school of thought, what's happening? Because, you know, when something unusual lasts for so long, you just start to wonder.

And as you said, Miles, it's bizarrely warm in many parts of the country. Let's take a look at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, right now.

It is 45 degrees at, what, 9:00 a.m. Eastern in the morning, 45 degrees. Their expected high is 60 degrees.

In Baltimore, we have another tower cam shot of that because Baltimore shares in our warmth, is basking in our warmth, 41 degrees right now. Foggy there, too. But they are expecting a high of 56 degrees.

And you mentioned Ontario, Miles. Well, Ontario, this is supposed to be the coldest month, January. They had a really nasty December, but in January there were people outside in shorts because in parts of Ontario, Toronto, it was 48 degrees.

So we ask our expert Chad Myers, what is going on here?
A year ago they said that American Morning was directed at an IQ level of 120, higher than any other morning TV news show. It's possible. If you watch any other morning TV news show, you find happy grinning morons giving you happy grinning morning news with entertaining guests and hardly any news content whatsoever. I can't watch those shows in the morning, because I experience the side effect of nausea and vomiting.

I just about lost it as I watched the above 60 seconds. It's not the sort of thing that should make one lose it, but I've been so annoyed for so long that by the time she repeated that final question, "what is going on here?" I could only yell back at the TV "You're the goddamn news, you find out and you tell us! That's your fucking job!!"

At this point I turned to Fox News, which is my practice when CNN is being moronic, and they were talking about Iran's nuclear program. So yeah, the highest IQ morning show these days is the typically-shallow, sensational and righty Fox.

Griff 01-16-2006 08:47 AM

I was grinding my teeth just reading that.

ferret88 01-16-2006 12:31 PM

you sure Matt Lauer and Katie Couric didn't somehow end up on CNN???

capnhowdy 01-16-2006 04:53 PM

CNN's redundance is what pisses me off. It seems like an endless loop of.... the same fu@#ing thing every ...what.... 90 seconds? While I have my coffee and prepare to brave the business world each morning (usually for about 1-11/2 hrs) I find myself pre-quoting the O'briens. By the time I turn it off to go vomit, I have their dialogue memorized to a tee. Hell I could have their jobs and I'm a dumbass Marine. :eyebrow:

fargon 01-16-2006 05:19 PM

I watched that show once for about 10 minutes, and went back to Fox and Freinds before I puked.

Clodfobble 01-16-2006 05:26 PM

Christ, people still get their news from the television?? That's what the computer is for.

Trilby 01-16-2006 05:28 PM

Hm--clod's message is listed as posted at 6:26 and my computer clock says it's 6:21--wtf?

Clodfobble 01-16-2006 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna
Hm--clod's message is listed as posted at 6:26 and my computer clock says it's 6:21--wtf?

The time is based on whatever UT's server says the time is, not what your computer says. It doesn't care what your computer says because you could be in any number of timezones...

But if it makes you feel better, Cellar times are about 4 minutes ahead of where I think they are as well. :)

Undertoad 01-16-2006 05:33 PM

This is fixed

xoxoxoBruce 01-16-2006 07:50 PM

About a week ago, it warm and pleasant in Philly, as it had been for awhile. The local morning weather comes on and to be honest there wasn't much to say....same, same.
But nooooooo, they spent 8 minutes ranting and raving about an ice storm and a blizzard we had a dozen years ago just to hear themselves rant and rave in good weather(wo)man fashion. :rolleyes:

Urbane Guerrilla 01-16-2006 07:51 PM

Unlike UT's punctuation. :)

Sounds like it was well to miss this. I watch a fair bit of Fox, having been turned on to it through the outraged bellowings and raucous heehaws about FNC by the more leftist people I've seen online. They actually tried telling people Fox was no good, if you can believe it.

Now, in general, I don't trust the Left to put the cap back on a bottle of Four Roses without crossing the threads (twenty Texas points to anyone who catches the literary reference), so I consequently gave Fox a good look. Now I don't bother watching much else for the news.

Happy Monkey 01-16-2006 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urbane Guerrilla
Now I don't bother watching much else for the news.

Well, I guess that's your punishment.

BigV 01-16-2006 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urbane Guerrilla
... I watch a fair bit of Fox, ... Now I don't bother watching much else for the news.

This is *not* news to any of us, I assure you.

Urbane Guerrilla 01-16-2006 11:43 PM

Punishment, HM? You have extremely strange notions of pain. I want you to know that. :p

BigV, I'm in the business of quality products. Let it be understood I know them when I see them.

wolf 01-17-2006 12:35 AM

The only time I watch CNN or CNNLite (Headline) is when I'm checking to see if they have a better camera angle at press conferences or congressional hearings that everybody is covering.

(although for the hearings I tend to prefer C-SPAN because they don't talk over the testimony with pointless color commentary)


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