:lol:

"X = 7"

Thor again "we did algebra in class yeaterday X=7"
He won't be convinced that X represents an unknown, the answer is X=7, that's another great mystery of mankind solved then.

Whew...glad to finally know that!

I can just see his face as he says these things!

Belatedly. Don't worry, I can amend my filthy RPF to include this. In fact it works with the current cutting theme...
FTR - I do not write filthy fiction focusing on LJ & Jinx. I just have a topless pic of LJ on my ceiling for those "hard to reach" moments.

Thor again....

He took the bus home by himself for the first time today (he's 7). I went to meet it, but not early enough! He was already halfway home and running with a huge grin on his face. He told ne "I was just delighting in the pleasures of taking the bus by myself and my upcoming birthday" :lol:

sounds like you raised him good

I hope so... and welcome!

"Delighting in the pleasures"........sounds like he and Princess (she's 6) could have a rather enlightening cnversation.

I asked whether she would rather have chicken or shrimp fo rdinner, she replied "Well mom, you know I am rather flexible, so either will do just fine."

My darling baby -who is very interested in sharks- drew me this beautiful pic during a lull in his sister's swim meet this afternoon. Isn't it fantastic? And if I'm not mistaken, he's a future dwellar in the making. Look closely. Why yes, it is. Always the stickler for detail, my boy.

:lol:

.

Nice!

The little lighthouse and pirate ship are an excellent touch.

I thought so too. And the detail on the seagull the shark is chomping. Oh wait is that.....

Its a boy!

"Little lighthouse" ... is that what you call it?

Hector cracked us up tonight. Hebe's class is studying Vietnam for Multicultural fair. I know the script for Good Morning Vietnam by heart. I'd just recited a little in context of some other topic, and Hebe said "we watched a movie about the Vietnam War today". "Not GMV, I presume?" I said. "No Way!" piped up Hector "Too much fucking swearing!" :lol:

Hector again....

It transpires today that he'd misread/misunterstood the thing about monkey flinging feces -he talked about "monkeys flinging faces" and when gently corrected, he revealed that it wasn't just a mispronunciation, he thought monkeys were reknowned for pulling funny faces at people. He was horrified by the idea that they like to hurl poop! :lol:

bless his little cotton socks.

We've been watching a lot of Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado lately and G-Max (2 1/2) is very much up on the number: Three Little Maids From School Are We.

So for most of today I've been accosted with "I want to watch the Avocados." You can guess her favorite snack.

Recently we've been numbering Minifob's rules to help him script (and thus better respond to) them. Rule #1 is "Stay right by Mommy," rule #2 is "Walk don't run," etc.

So yesterday I asked him if he was ready to go run errands with me, and he starts excitedly reciting his rules as he's putting on his shoes. Suddenly he frowns, and says very seriously to me, "Go WALK errands."

Going Crazy
 

My sister has a four year old son. They were getting ready to walk out the door. He asked her "Where are we going?" She said "Crazy and you are driving" He ran to his room and got his stuffed puppy and said "Doggie go to crazy to?"

Welcome to the Cellar, rebekram. :D
A little late... I remember making a mental note when I approved your posts, but I think I've been touched by the hand of God 'cause my memory is getting kind of holy.

MIllimeter, 2 1/2 told me "Milk is descended from cows."

Ha! Nice one.

Cleaning out some old files and came across this letter I wrote on behalf of the inchling, sometime last year: His words in bold.

Dear Topgear folks,



For several weeks my five year old son and I have enjoyed watching TopGear on your website since we don't get BBC where we live. Our son gets to watch a video once a week, usually BBC's Planet Earth Series or recently the BBC Dinosaur series. Alternatively, he can elect to watch several top gear clips form your website. Limited to an hour a week, you can imagine, it is not lightly that he makes his choice.



While dinosaurs are massive and gorey they are no match for Jeremy, James, Hammond, and of course, The Stig.



Last week we searched for new clips and were saddened and dismayed by having an obnoxious and unwanted advertisement forced upon us whenever we wanted to watch a clip. We will suffer banners and popups, but this was beyond the pale. After enduring the mind numbing clip twice my son began to cry and insist that we switch it off since we couldn't disable the advertisement.



Tearfully, he told me the following and asked me to convey his thoughts and feelings to you. Quoting:



"Tell them they should be put in jail. They should be cut in half and have their heads cut off. And their hearing should be lost and their mouths clogged up so they can't speak. They should have their eyes cut out.

"Hide this from mom 'cause she doesn't like mean stuff. Those guys are the stupidest guys in the world."



So there you have it, a five year old's unvarnished opinion. Far from inducing him to ever want anything made by Atari, you have driven him back into the arms of dinosaurs and poisoned the well of his fondness for Jeremy, James, Hammond, and The Stig. The look of questioning and hesitation on his face when he quotes Clarkson: "HELP! I'm being eaten by dogs, I'm a pregnant woman and I'm all alone." is sad. And if that weren't bad enough you have compelled him to keep his feelings secret from his mother.



You made a five year old cry.



Woefully yours,



footfootfoot


PS Happy update! It seems as though the advertisements are gone. I will tell my son when he wakes up from his nap.

you should be on tv

I wasn't expecting to snort so loudly when I was reading this last night. Mrs. glatt commented on it. Funny post, nutkin.

:)

Can we addd "Gross things they do" to this thread?
The inchling was just ferreting around in the wastebasket a moment ago and I heard some paper rustling. I turned to see him pulling some discarded gum from between two pieces of an envelope and sticking it in his mouth.

WTF? He also eats boogers. His mom's side of the family.

Why is there someone named boogers on Mom's side of the family?

We're not actually from Kentucky, if that's what you're implying.

This is probably not as funny to you guys as it is to me. But it is funny to me and I want to tell you about it. :D Anyways, the other day, my nephew got upset at my mom because he thought she had let the washer finish its spinning cycle. He loves to watch the washer do the spinning cycle and had the machine stopped so he could do something else first (I forgot what). When he saw that the machine had already completed its cycle, he started to cry and yell at my mom, "Grandma, why you spin?, why you...!.why you...!.YOU MONSTER!" :lol: He's five but his speech isn't too advanced. I thought it was hilarious that he called her a monster. :lol: Luckily she didn't understand him and didn't quite understand why he was upset at her for she wasn't the one who let the washer complete its spinning cycle. :p:

Why would she be upset at being called a monster? Surely it's a compliment of the highest order :p:

Haha....Very true. My nephew calls me a monster when I chase him, but it's with a totally different intention.

Football season is here again, so along with all the other bits and pieces we need to get, there are also mouthguards. For those of you that don't know, they're a jaw shaped piece of silicon that you have to mold to the shape of your teeth and gums. In order to do this, you put them in a cup of freshly boiled water till they soften, then you quickly put them in your mouth and bite down.

So anyway, Mav goes through the process and gets his sorted, then Aden comes in and starts doing his. He boils the water and pours it in the cup and pops the mouthguard in the water, then a few seconds later he says, "how do I get the mouthguard out of the water?" (obviously he had numerous options, so it was incredibly funny to all of us that he'd ask such a question. In his defense, what he meant was, is there a 'best' way to go about it, but still it was funny.)

lol - ahh that brings back some good memories.

I overheard the millimeter, nearly 3, say this to one of her dolls:

"I'm not a bad, nasty old baby. I'm a good, nasty old baby."

My baby dreams of Nerf
 

He just came halfway downstairs and said " blurble vlurvle blurble.... I'm going to lie on your bed, OK?"

Why? said I

"I've run out of Nerf darts" said he.

"Oh, OK", I said, "wait, I'm coming"....

So I go to him and say "I'll get you some more Nerf darts, OK? But it's better if you're in your bed"

"Oh OK"

....yup fast asleep, eyes wide open...

so I follow him to his bed to make sure he gets there OK -it's a top bunk

He snuggles down so I say "do you have your darts now?"

"No"

"OK, I'll send someone in with them."

"OK" he says, as he closes his eyes and starts that cute snore they do....

:lol:

Why does he need to sleep with the Nerf darts?

I overheard this one coming from the back seat of the car on the weekend. It was Aden talking to Max.

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
and this little piggy had none - because he was vegetarian,
and this little piggy went wee wee wee, all in the toilet!

He just had a Nerf war birthday party, I guess he was continuing in his dream...

Can funny/ embarrassing things they say apply to parents?
I'd forgotten this, but Mon's post re sleep-talking reminded me.

About 2 days before the 'rents went on holiday my Dad apparently sat bolt upright in bed and asked, "Where is it! Where's it gone! It's gone!" or somesuch.

Now I sleep in earplugs. But I must have heard something. Because in my dream my Dad and I were searching for Mum's head. And Mum's head was talking, which is why we were so scared someone else would find it. In the dream we hadn't murdered her, but we were scared of her telling the truth (although what the truth was wasn't specified in the dream).

Could just be a coincidence of course.
The fact we'd severed her head that evening I mean.

Shouldn't that be pup or kit, sn?

Probably HLJ, when I switched over from Footfootfoot, I hadn't considered how it would affect the rest of the family. I think the SN thing may have run its course anyway and I'll go back to footx3.

Or not.

The squirell has developed a bit of a split personality. His family remains determinedly linear.

(Or, what SN said.)

Minifob was naming the tabs on my file folders this morning, and got to the folder about my minivan. He read it wrong, and I corrected him, and he adamantly corrected me right back. Apparently, I actually drive a "2003 Monster MPV."

That's because you're a lady with class :D

because nerd farts are too stinky.

Thor was brought to the schoolnurse today while I happened to be in the office. Poor lamb (who brought it on himself by sliding down the handrail rather than taking the steps to the lowere playground) had a grazed lump on his noggin, a graze on the back of his shoulder, grazes on his arm, thigh, knee and shin. He said -very upset- "I think I broke my head"

Tell him he's lucky it was only his head and not his heid.

Poor fellow.

ha, I told him he was lucky the school nurse was in so he stood a chance of some sympathy. He didn't get much, though :lol:

I did let him get out of swim team practice, though. He's three years too young to actually be on the team, but as he swims better than half the team and is prone to wander if not in the water, he has to practice alnong with his older sibs

Is he doing okay? The poor thing fell while sliding down the handrail? Must've hurt alot.

Speaking as a sadder but wiser squirell, he was lucky it wasn't his nuts.

Moving right along, last night I let out a particularly loud and raucous fart, the squirrelita, (aka millimeter) said:
"I have a quiet, gentle one that I keep in my butt and it stinks."

Funny Thing

I took my mom to the ethnic part of town and to a clinic where she was to pick up her lower plate that had broken. I only mention ethnic because something extraordinary happened I cannot imagine happening in a posh mainly white office setting.

So her turn comes up, I am in the car waiting with the poodle. I am parked outside the door. It's beautiful sunny outside and I have the windows rolled down. I am watching parents with their children and the children are waving at the dog. It's not a bad way to spend a half an hour. I soon see her walking out the door with tears in her eyes. They say they cannot find her teeth. Before she reaches the car the receptionist runs out and asked her to come back in they may have found them.

So my mom goes in gets her lower plate and within seconds comes out with a full bite. When she is finally settled in her seat she tells me that when she was notified they lost her teeth everyone in the small cramped waiting room chanted," momma lost her teeth" "momma lost her teeth" "momma lost her teeth"When she went back in to get them they were chanting,"momma found her teeth" momma found her teeth" "momma found her teeth" I found it amusing. My mom not so much. She wasn't put off just not in the frame of mind to hold onto humor very long. She thought people were trying to be supportive and or make her smile. I am glad she at least thought that much and the event was dampened by the fact she was so distraught to not have her lower plate. My mom looks very ethnic herself. Once black hair now nearly white peppered with Grey and American Indian bone structure but paler than I.

I was touched and amused at the solidarity of a group of people who tried to make an old lady not feel so bad in a very unorthodox way and very unexpected way.

It's is one of those one in a lifetime occurrences you just need to jot down somewhere or share. So I'm sharing.

Totally back to normal. Beaten, bruised and scraped -which is normal for him :lol: He actually has a permanent bump on his head and permanent scar on his knee from so many toddlerhood accidents. But he played soccer and hockey today and is now on the Wii

Glad to hear! hehe... You've got one tough kid.

Skysidhe: Interesting. Frankly, I would be a bit unnerved if the whole office starting chanting like that. Being supportive didn't come in mind, so I'm glad you pointed that out.

weel, sometimes we just take out humor where we can find it especially dealing with moms.

The inch, 6 1/2 has begun his philosophical musings:
Right before bed-- "What was the something that existed before the universe?"
Using 'something' because he didn't have a word for what he didn't know.

The girl at a "comedy show" we were captive audience to: "Papa, I am irritated of this..."

Uhhh, read that with a comma after "girl" ...not getting an Edit button...

Mrs. Nutkin and I were talking about the World Cup the other day and the the inchling asked what that was. We explained that it was a soccer game and that Netherlands was playing Spain.

He said "That must be a huge soccer field."