Hah. What's a bad foot? Just smell or is it something else?

Just made hotel reservations for an SSR international rally in Dennison Texas, October 4th through 8th, 2017.
How's that for being optimistic. :rolleyes:

hoping not to scare away the competition?

that *is* optimistic!

Well I just developed a tailor's bunion, so there's that.

I always figured foot fetishes were more common among the ladies because of the shoe thing.

Smell's not great, but smell can be washed off (and if it regularly isn't, that's a whole separate issue.) Crusty calluses that shed foot dandruff are the worst; I'm not a fan of huge tufts of hair anywhere, really; toenails should be clean underneath. You know, basic foot hygiene.

*looks at feet*

hmm

Feet are ugly. Yours. Mine. Everyone's. That's why God put them as far from your face as He could put them. The only thing uglier than feet are assholes, and that's why God put them completely outta sight.

M'self, I like necks.

I like Boobs.

"And now, for something completely different."

In August 2006, the International Astronomical Union classified Pluto as a dwarf planet because its mass is only 0.07 times that of the mass of the other objects in its orbit (Earth's mass, by contrast, is 1.7 million times the remaining mass in its own orbit). Then, in June 2008 Pluto was re-classified as a sub-class of dwarf planet, known as a plutoid, which refers to Pluto and other objects that have an orbital semi-major axis greater than that of Neptune and enough mass to be of near-spherical shape.

It could happen!
 

Trump would say there was a conspiracy in the International Astronomical Union and the reclassification of Pluto was rigged. As President, he would direct that Pluto be made a planet again.

LOL. Re-classifying Pluto as a full-fledged planet ain't worth having Trumpzilla destroy democracy as we know it.

Boobs are awesome.

it's been 8 years since Dan wasn't sorry about UT's finger!

http://www.cellar.org/showpost.php?p...3&postcount=74

Tony's finger is just fine, Dan. Fag.

You say that like its a bad thing. ;)

Fags cause lung cancer. Lung cancer's bad mmmk?

You're supposed to talk 'Merican now.

.

I really like this one posted by So Awkward on Twitter.

Hello.

This is week 10 of being away from home...I am ready to go home.

7 days.

Hello.

Send the wife a pic, before you get home, in case she doesn't remember you.

Perhaps you've stayed in contact, nevermind.

We moved right before I took off on this trip...I regularly forget my new address.

Chap calls through to our claims dept today, and after I've taken his name and policy number, I ask him what we can help with - he says 'well, this is going to sound really stupid....' - I laugh and ask 'go on, what's happened?'

Well, says he...in April my daughter's hamster escaped (ok, I thought - not what I was expecting) and we thought it was lost. Anyway, this week our washing machine stopped working, so we called out the repair guy and he came out and when we moved the washing machine we found the hamster (uh oh, I think, this story is taking a turn for the grisly) - 'Oh dear,' I say, preparing for the nasty part.

No, no, says he, the hamster's fine - he's a bit annoyed we've put him back in a cage, but he is fat and healthy as ever. But he's chewed through the wires - totally destroyed the loom and damaged the motor. The washing machine is beyond repair.

......................................................................................................................

Hamster, missing for 7 months. Alive and well and living in the washing machine. That was a file note I enjoyed writing.

And to make things even better - most policies exclude damage by pets - but his was a legacy policy that only lists a pet damage exclusion on the Impact peril (don't ask). There was no specific exclusion in any of the other perils, and no whole policy exclusion for damage by pets or animals (except for vermin). And because he was a longstanding customer with a clean claims record, I was able to offer him a cash settlement there and then.

His daughter is ecstatic because hamster is back. He's delighted because what he no doubt expected would be a ball ache of a claims process turned out to be one 15 minute phone call with a cash payout straight into his bank (less the excess obv)

And I got to write the sentence 'Hamster has been living in washing machine since April and has eaten through the wires' in the claim file description, which then appears in the green banner across the top of the claim file screen and will come up every time someone does a claims search on his policy.


Some days I love my job.

Ha ha, that must have made your day. :thumb2:

Oh hell yeah :)

Dude must have a long tongue.

tarheel

:fumette:Ahhhhhhhhhthat'sbetter.:fumette:

If I have to set this motherfucker on fire, it WILL be over 70 degrees in this house.

Flint and tw are soulmates. They should get married. I know I would issue them a marriage license and sell them a wedding cake.

Gee golly willickers sexobon you're the best and most bodacious of all the dwellars and this is the best of all the posts ever made by anyone ever in the history of man!!!!!!!

(Just trying to fit in...I really do luvz ya)

I was possessed by the ghost of Christmas future.

The Ghost of Christmas Future Perfect:

Flint and tw will have been soulmates. They shall have been married. I know I will have issued them a marriage license and shall have sold them a wedding cake.

(With apologies, and a marriage proposal, to Demetri Martin)

Before you get married, you should know that he is severely--like can't be in the same room severely--allergic to peanuts.

FYI, I love Cris Collinsworth

Ugh. I love peanuts. Will i have to eat them in another building, and will he have peanuts envy?

That certainly sounds like something he would do. Coincidentally, I just bought his book as a stocking stuffer for my stepson today. I don't know if he will like it, but if he's a good human being he will.

I do love This is a Book. He is so funny! :)

Why is it that the men no one wants to fuck are the most lecherous assholes? Hey, no one wants to fuck you. End of story. Stop being gratuitous and gross.

You never know ...

because they know it ain't gonna happen, but that's close enough to get them off?

Ruth Buzzi & Arte Johnson...:rolleyes:

That's gold, Sexobon, gold!

It's an infinite feedback loop. They take the Lecherous Asshole on-ramp and then discover there is no She Wants To Fuck Me off-ramp. Just an endless cloverleaf.

The ones getting laid have no need to be lecherous.

It's the reason I'm the way I am.

Well, one of the reasons.

Holy Fuck, thats funny!!!

I took a call today that was ridulously difficult.

You know it's going tobe a belter when the answer to the question, 'And is that Miss, Mrs or Ms?' ...is 'Oh, I don;t know, I always get confused'


You're phoning up in the hope we're going to write you a £500 cheque. The questions don't get easier from there, ya know?

Sorry, I was just kidding! Jeez... Is it my 70's dick broom mustache that bothers you?

a wee shag mantra is an anagram of we hate anagrams

Ok, small hands thing aside -even before I realized you could see his hands- the one thing I noticed about this pic is Melania has enormous hands! they could be photoshopped but I doubt it because this pic is doing the rounds about the cake...

Attachment 59235

I think the small hands belong to the guy behind him. :confused:

Now he has *no* hands?

Hands in his own pockets, that's a departure.

I shoulda cropped him out of the picture. But look at her hands -they're huge! She should play the Piania.

I have a body like a Greek God.

White as milk with a two inch dick.