meh - got an email .... slow night, slight thread bump...
Unnecessary.
thank you.

I wasn't trying to start a flame war. Seeing that this is the tasteless joke thread, I thought the joke's racist (poetic license taken, gunmaster) attributes were to its credit.

@ Classic. Ok, ya got me.


I've been mulling this over. Wondering why it is that your joke pissed me off yet I can happily read through this thread and not blanch at the anti-semitic, sexist and racist jokes throughout.

I think possibly because the anti-semitic jokes and the jokes about 'niggers' are so off the wall, so over the top and so unacceptable both in mainstream culture and Cellar culture that they fall under the category of 'ironic racism'. I read those jokes and am fairly sure that the poster doesn't actually subribe to those sentiments.

But every joke you post in this thread is anti-muslim. And that one you've posted twice.

It's starting to feel less like you posting tasteless jokes and more like you using this as a forum for anti-muslim sentiment.

Maybe I'm wrong. But anti-muslim humour and anti-muslim sentiment is pretty much mainstream in general culture as in the Cellar. So I don't read those jokes and assume that the poster is being ironic, unless the poster is one I feel fairly sure is not anti-muslim.

And to lighten the mood:

Q: What's the first thing a woman does after she leaves a battered women's shelter?

A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her.

Really? Wow, you have a much better memory than I. Or perhaps you searched for that? I couldn't tell you the last one I posted here before this one. Did I really post this one twice? I don't even remember reading it before.
If I get an email from someone and its tasteless ... sorta funny sometimes I'll post it. Others not. I certainly don't go looking for them.
Really? Wow! That's pretty cold.
I am fairly certain I am not anti-muslim, if that helps.

ok. I might be being a little oversensitive today. I'll accept that you don't actually subscribe to those views.

It's struck me a few times in this thread the number of jokes about muslims generally. And I do tend to remember who posts what when it comes to that sort of thing. Probably because it's the sort of thing I scan for. But yes, i did go searching as it happens. And every joke you've posted (as far as I could see)has been about muslims.

I accept that you just post the tasteless stuff that comes to you via email. But clearly whoever is sending you tasteless jokes has a particular penchant for muslim jokes.

You must have missed the Gary Coleman "custom casket"post ;)

ahhhh. Yes I must. Glad to be proved wrong on this one.


[ocd] oh yeah. I see it. It was the first one you posted in this thread I think. [/ocd]

Oh and I never said all the crap was from one person. I get tons of it - the vast majority gets pitched. I'll increase my filtering just for you.
Next up ... commie manc tarts. Now let me go see what I can find in my email trash.

*grins*

A Mancunian, a Liverpudlian and a Pakistani are in the waiting room of a maternity ward. A mid-wife enters and explains that there has been a mix-up and that they are not sure whose baby belongs to who.

The new fathers decide to flip a coin to see who takes first pick of the babies, the Liverpudlian wins and returns from the ward carrying a distinctly brown baby. The Pakistani bloke enquired "don't you think you've made a mistake my friend? The scouser replied, "listen mate, there's two babies left in there and there's a 50:50 chance of picking a Manc. That's not a risk I'm willing to take!

Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.

A boy and a pedophile are out at night, walking towards the forest.

The boy says, "It's dark! I don't like it! I'm scared!"

The pedophile says, "You're scared?!
I've got to walk back out of here on my own!"

lol

Oh that's dark.

Or Dana....

Of all the jokes classic sees, only the muslim bashing ones rank as "tasteless" in his opinion.

Hmmm.

Ok. That's an interesting perspective shift.

The rest go into the regular humor thread.

How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.

How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb? CHANGE?!!!

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.

How many tv evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.

How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? None: Candles only.

How many Amish does it take to change a lightbulb? What's a light bulb?

How many Polygamous Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light!

How many Unitarians does it take to change a lightbulb? We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

lol

How many Donald Trumps does it take to change a light bulb? None really. But he will tell you how he will change it, make it better and how proud of himself he will be after he changes it. And then the only thing he actually WILL change is his mind.

During his sermon one Sunday, the local preacher told his congregation that the entire range of human experience could be found in the Bible. He confidently stated, "If anything can happen to humans, it is described somewhere in the Bible."

After the service, a woman came up to the preacher and said, "Reverend, I don't think the Bible mentions anything about PMS."

The preacher told the woman he was certain he could find a reference to PMS somewhere in scripture. During the following week, he searched diligently, book-by-book, chapter-by-chapter, and verse-by-verse.

On the following Sunday, the woman came up to him and asked, "Did you find any references to PMS in the Bible?"

The preacher smiled, opened his Bible, and began to read, "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."

a priest and a rabbi see a little boy as they're walking down the street. the priest sneers and asks, "wanna screw that boy?"
the rabbi, confused, replies: "out of what?"

the worst part of being a black jew? standing at the back of the oven.

2 Jews and A Polock
 

OK there are two Jews and a polock in this nazi death camp. The guard tells them if you can climb to the top of this 100 foot grease poll will give you your freedom. If not whatever your dad did for a living were going to do to your balls. The first jew climbs to the top and gets all the way up to the 50 slides back down crying. WHat did your dad do for a living the guard ask. He was a butcher. SO they chopped his balls off. The next jew climbs to the poll and he gets to the 75 he climbs to the top and slides down. His dad was a candle stick maker so the bunrt his balls off. THe POlock climbs all the way up to the 99 and slides all the way back down laughing. Why didn't you do it the guard asks. He replies, My dad was a lolly pop maker you have to suck my balls off.

The correct spelling is pollock.
And his Dad would have been a fish, so they had to wash his balls off.

I don't see the reason for mentioning the ethnicity of the players in this particular joke.

It's funnier this way because Jews are supposed to be more clever than everybody else ... they clearly were not in this joke ... I dunno.

Clearly, you have achieved neither. Bigoted jerk. :eyebrow:

FTW

Imma merge this into the tasteless jokes thread. It qualifies.

Hi marks for tasteless, barely qualifies as a joke though.

"Polak", isn't it? Or "Polack"?

'cause the Po' lack a lot of things. :D


I crack me up.

I'm glad you mentioned merging the thread, because I could not work out why I made such a poe-faced response in The Tastless Jokes thread!

We haven't had any in a while.
C'mon, there are plenty of natural disasters going on, shouldn't jokes be pouring in?
(My excuse is that I'm on holiday until September, and my Mum won't forward things to me any more because I tell her off if they're racist or sexist (and not funny). Same as I don't get glurge, emails bout Jebus or anything she suspects I will immediately debunk.

Fair enough, just now I don't know what crazy shit she takes for fact....

I watched a recording of Amy Winehouse's funeral on TV last night. It was very moving, particularly when Elton John played his specially re-written version of Candle Under the Spoon.

snicker

JB's joke spake: Bring all the goys to the yard.

you have outdone yourself, infy

What's the difference between a Western lift and a Somalian one ?




In Western countries, it is written: "Maximum: 8 persons / 630 Kg".

Why did the Greek son leave home? Because his father was always on his back.

Why did the son come back? He couldn't leave his brother's behind.

Why did he leave again?
He couldn't take it in the end.

Don't make fun of him, it's just the way he was reared.

But, but, but....

Sounding like a diesel...

Old Sol Finkelstein, what a man.
At 15, he survived Bergen-Belsen only to be sent to Auschwitz.
He was on a detail that cleared out the gas chambers, and transported the bodies to the crematorium.
When the Allies liberated the camp, he walked 20 kilometers, barefoot, to a village where he was able to get medical treatment.
A year later, he managed to get himself to England, and there he hopped a tramp steamer to New York.
He worked 12 hours a day, and saved his money, and eventually bought a deli.
He worked in the deli for 50 years, meeting all sorts of people.
Mayor Lindsey.
Andy Warhol.
Johnny Carson.
John and Yoko.
At night, he trained for the Golden Gloves.
As a sparring partner, he knocked out Jack Dempsey, Cassius Clay, and George Foreman.
He went on to win the Golden Gloves on four separate occasions, earning himself the nickname "The Tough Jew".
Finally, he decided to sell the deli and retire.
The first week in Florida, he hits the Powerball for 304 million bucks.
The TV reporters love the story, and set up a news conference with him.
They relate his history, and ask him "What's the first thing you're going to do?"
"Well, I'm goin' build a statue honoring Adolph Hitler."
"What? You're kidding! Why him, of all people?"
Sol rolls up his left sleeve, exposing the number tattooed on his forearm.
"Well, he did give me the winning numbers..."

There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.

Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?

A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Didja hear about the Ethiopian that fell in the alligator pit?

He ate three of 'em before they got him out.

Three fags are sitting in a hot tub just relaxing when a huge glob of semen floats to the surface,

One of the fags looks up and says "Hey! Who farted?"

-----------

Have you ever heard the motto of the Greek army?
Never leave your buddy's behind.

-----------

Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, “Fuck that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!”

-----------

Got this text from my brother recently.
It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while?

The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock.
.... It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!”

------------

I was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.
She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day.

-------------

I saw a fortune teller the other day.
She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I fucked a girl called Penny – is that spooky or what?

------------

The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?”
.... Apparently “Only to stop myself from coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.

Those two are winners.:lol2:

A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan.

He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well.

He says prophets are going through the roof!

lol groan

Not tasteless enough for you, V?

pretty tasteless, pretty funny.

like a good dead baby joke.

mission accomplished

Whacko extremist.


ETA: sorry, Pavlovian reflex. Move along.

tommy

Prophets...roof...:lol2:

Did you hear about the football coach that got married?




He thought he was getting a tight end, but wound up with a wide receiver!

What does Michael Jackson and Burger King had in common?




They both sticked meat into 6 year old buns!