The garage is now clean. Damn clean. To celebrate, you head into the kitchen in search of a beer and in the fridge you find not a beer but a transmission, four quarts of oil, a box of finishing nails, some duct tape, spare plumbing parts and, oh, a jar of pickle juice and a packet of duck sauce.

I wish I could think of a wish that can't be corrupted.

You do, you wish the Sun to come up tomorrow. Unfortunately an overnight series of wordwide volcanos pollute the air so badly, nobody can tell. :(

I wish the Cellar would get linked on slashdot.

That's an easy one. The Cellar is linked on Slashdot and becomes permanently slashdotted.

I wish I could find my glasses.

is the clutter in your garage broken down neatly into groups of 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11? cuz if so, I can totally take care of that for you ...

You find your glasses, but on the table in the interview room where the police placed them, after THEY found them at the scene of a peeping tom.

I wish I had a Second Cup coffee shop closer to my home...

A Second Cup Coffee Shop opens closer to your home. In fact, your home and the surrounding neighborhood is demolished to make way for the Second Cup, a Lowes, and a Super Walmart.

I wish there were some clever shows on television.

all media BUT television is here by banned , no books , no mags , NO NET !!!!!
The net is just simply turned OFF !!!!!!!
nothing but MUST SEE TV!!! ,
the official viewing device is a head harness with eye lid clamps , and big dudes to clamp it on !!!,
nothing BUT Clever shows ( with subliminal re-education footage in the back ground ) to watch , All HAIL GWB and the american republic !!!!!!


I wish that i could hit the powerball lotto numbers !!!

Congratulations, you DO hit the powerball numbers, as well as two officials of the Lottery, with a sledge hammer you are wielding as you rush screaming onstage to demolish the studio where the drawing is being held. Police and security guards finally manage to subdue you and haul you away. The next day, papers all over the worldwill describe the rampage by a gentleman from Arkansas who went berserk when none out of the 10,563 lottery numbers he bought at bars this month was drawn. Wolf will keep us posted on your status :(


I wish we didn't have to switch our clocks back tonight.

And in a stunning development, the original cast of Saturday Night Live sans John Belushi and Gilda Radner have decided to reunite and produce a weekend variety show several orders of magnitude more entertaining than the recycled cud late-night weekend viewers are now limited to.

I wish I knew when I was going to die.

NOW! :shotgun:


I wish I knew what to do with this body.

bury it , beestie will start stinking after a few days left un refrigerated .




I wish i could not have to work , but still earn $1,000,000 a month for the rest of my life

granted. unfortunately for you, your dog, Ollie, is the only one who can spend it. All he sees fit to buy is milkbones and fire hydrants.

i wish my sister wasn't such a bitch.
then again, she's a lawyer, what'd i expect?

Your sister discovers the joy of Prozac. She becomes a very mellow and pleasant person. And now pretty much sucks as a lawyer. And you know, her husband Bubba has a bad back and has been out of work for a month of Sundays. So she, Bubba, and little Bubbas number 1 through number four are coming to live with you. Won't that be nice?

I wish this bug was already fixed.

The bug IS already fixed...everything you're doing now is screwing things up worse than ever. :shock:

I wish I could turn back the clock a few weeks.