Can't run, won't run, no way no how. But not afraid to get hit by the ball. I'll be a backup keeper.

I'm left-handed and right-eyed, so I suppose I'm right-footed.

You can have the job, I hear the coach is a tyrant. ;)

left handed and right eyed but does martial arts so can probably kick with both feet... I'll keep you on the right and teach you to cut in if needed. enjoy your position. seriously watch out for cleats if you insist on being barefoot.

Lookout, I really have to agree that you should publish this as a book. I have a hard time reading long posts on a screen (rather than print) but I was glued. You are a very good writer, captivating, coherent, and you make the subject fascinating and impart the excitement of the game as well as the moronic behavior of some of the parents/adults.

Just copy and paste what you;ve already posted and send it to a few publishers.

Cellar F.C. has been launched. Visit now



Thanks Foot. Writing a book is something I've always dreamed about but I wouldn't know where to start. Writing a post is one thing but stretching that out to a full length book and keeping it interesting? My mother has written a few over the years with exactly zero luck in getting published outside a magazine here and there. Maybe my skepticism comes from watching her disappointment.

and BTW, what position do you want?

I'll take one of the remaining defender positions. I can read the play, take a collision, get the ball off my opponent cleanly ... then freeze and wonder what the hell I should do with the ball now that I've got it. I'm not good at kicking long nor at running the ball forward. I'll need someone with a good boot to pass to.

A little late here with the tenth and final week's report.

This was the last week of the session, of my coaching, and of lil lookout playing U8 ball so I was hoping to go out on a high. We were playing our arch rivals. The coach who in past has given such grief over the makeup of my team, the one who complained about unfair advantage that I practiced with some of the boys after school, the one who has been coming to me trying to figure out why things are changing. In all honesty I couldn't have created a schedule to finish the season any better. We were tied for first with another team and going up against a team who gives us a good run for our money every time we play.

We were missing B, my little bulldog runner, which is a blessing in disguise sometimes. He has incredible natural talent and I've worked with him a lot, but he's reached the stage where he believes he's a one man team so it's been a bit difficult with him lately.

LL started in the goal, with a strong defense, and decent midfield, and a weak forward line. The other team as always came out hard and fast with their two skilled players really running my kids in circles. They were up by two points from outside high shots pretty quickly. LL came out of goal and went in as forward, K replaced him. It was evident right away that LL wanted to make the most of his last game. he fought for open balls more than I've seen in quite awhile. He'd get the ball and pass over to J only to see J dribble up the line into a dead end. Then LL and L would work to get the ball back and the same thing would happen. Lots of good efforts but no finish looked to be the story of the day. We were down 4-0 just before the half when LL had the ball in open space about 35 feet from the goal and just to the left. He stood there waiting for someone on our team to move enough so he could pass in, but it just wasn't happening. So the little smart ass started juggling the ball. After about the fourth tapup he hauled off and crushed it. It sailed straight into the top right corner just before the whistle sounded. Show off.

So we started the second half down 4-1. J, J, and K each were subbing in and out about every two minutes because they were hot, or tired, or had to pee, or someother ridiculous thing so the rest of the team played the whole second half without subs. LL and L combined really well playing back and forth the full length of the field ending up with LL in the box. He took an excellent shot, but the keeper made an even better diving save. A few minutes later they combined again but LL faked a shot to get the keeper moving before burying the ball in the opposite corner. 4-2. The next goal S and S were running around and bumping into eachother and somehow one of them knocked the ball in the goal without even knowing it. They came back to the line asking who had kicked it. 4-3. LL was getting tired so he played in defense for awhile. J and J were back up front and L played the ball up to J for a sweet outside right shot, 4-4.

We're tied up with a little more than five minutes left. J is tired and doesn't want to go back in. K is in the same boat. Then the other J takes an elbow to the nose and I have to talk K into going back in to play defense. LL would get the ball and move up the field but when he'd look for someone to pass to he'd see the rest of his team hanging out by our own goal. He was on his own and I think he relished the chance to be the star. He made a beautiful run up the left side and just before he got to the endline, just left of the goal he stepped up over the ball causing it to hit his heel and pop in the air. He never took his eye off it and as the defender was caught outside of him now he spun around to volley it while it was still in the air - GOAL! He was pretty proud of that one. Now we're winning 5-4 with 3 minutes left. The other team takes their kick but LL ran across the center line and stole it before their player even got their touch. He dribbled straight through the midfield, cut right around the defenders and popped it in from the outside right. Now we're up 6-4 with about 2.5 minutes left. The other team comes back down the field with some nice passing and pulls one back. 6-5 with one minute left. L took our kick and passed straight out to LL who ran up the right side. He had two players in front and another coming on his left so he played it off the wall and ran around the defenders to receive his own pass. The next thirty seconds was pure joy for me. LL was on his own with 4 defenders and a keeper to beat. He'd lose the ball then get it back, he'd shield the ball then spin around only to be blocked and try to spin the other way. All those hours of us playing one on one really paid off in that 30 seconds. When he finally emerged three of their players were on the ground and the other was a step behind LL. He was at a tight angle with the keeper in front of him and the defender nipping at his heals when he chipped the ball up and over the keeper to land neatly in the goal behind him. He didn't even celebrate, he just jogged back to the bench and asked if he could have a drink. It was such a fun display to watch that even the other coach was cheering and made a point of telling LL he deserved to get that goal. A great game and a great way to finish things off.

The final whistle went and the kids all gathered for our traditional cheer for the other team. Even though we won the game we finished in second place due to goal difference. You can't finish a season much closer than that. We went to the snack bar where I called them each up for trophies and awards and then it was back to my house for an end of season pool party.

It has been a very mixed season. I couldn't have predicted the off field drama if I'd tried, but on field we had fun and I think the kids learned and progressed quite a bit this season. This week was pretty weird for me. I can't remember the last time I didn't have a team to coach during the week. I miss it already but my days as a rec league coach are over. Unless 2.0 decides to play in another year or so, then I guess I'll have to coach an outdoor rec program. ;)

Maybe you can just re-use that text for the Cellar F.C. game next week.