whats the worse part of being a black jew?
having to stand at the back of the oven.

Just to point out, i'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.

Q : What Pinkfloyd and Lady Di have in common ?















A: Their last great hit was the Wall.

What is a white person answer to daycare,

a deadbolt

Q: What’s the difference between a pedophile and acne?
A: Acne waits for the kid to be at least 12 before coming on his face.

Q: What’s the difference between a bicycle and a kid?
A: Your bike doesn’t cry when you ride it.

Q: Why do Jews pick their noses?





A: Because its cheaper than tissue

· I’m living next door to a Lebanese couple at the moment. They have 3 little kids and they’ve challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I’m just writing to you while the kettle boils!

· Can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – its fucking hilarious.

· I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, "good morning you ugly prick?" It’s not yours is it?

· I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.

· Been to the optometrist today – he told me I was color blind. I’m fuckin' worried now that some of my buddies could be black.
If you are, can you delete my e-mail address?

· There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.

· I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells.
Apparently, Latinos and black rapists is not the correct answer.

Q: Why do women prefer hunters ?













A: Hunters don't hesitate to go into the bush, they always shot twice and they eat everything they take a shot at....

...

Little Jhonny comes to see his father :

"Dad, how do you spell... 'clitoris'?"

"You should have asked yesterday evening, I had it on the tip of my tongue."

Wanted a really a really dirty one?

















Stop washing your genitals for two months....

Isn't taking pictures a no-no in Islam? After all, that's why they have all those scrolls and arabesque things on their architecture instead of images.

Q: What is the animal that is the hardest to kill?










A: The woman









Reason: One discharge in the belly, two balls in the ass, and she's still squirming....

Yes and no Scriveyn. Some Muslims do think that taking pictures of animate objects goes against the word of Allah with regard to how he will treat them, as image makers, on the Day of Resurection.

Most though consider this only to refer to the sort of 'worshipping false idols' thing that is similar to the Christian view point.

Only the most extreme would argue against essential photos such as those for driving licences or passports. There is no argument that 'Wanted' posters are always acceptable.


Now, back to the tasteless material....

That's just wrong. Funny as hell, but wrong...:headshake

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims..

"YOU MIGHT BE A MUSLIM IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun & $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. Your cousin is president of the United States

"The trouble with Obama jokes is Obama's supporters don't think they're funny and nobody else thinks they're jokes."

What's the difference between a virgin, a whore and a bitch?












Well, a virgin fucks with no one, the whore fucks with anyone....




























...and the bith fucks with anyone....
... but you!

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary, 'Somewhere I haven't been for a long time' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

What's the difference between an angry man and a gay Arab?


One of them is shaking a fist; the other is fisting a Sheikh.

Great!

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

Mohamed's first day of school

Mohamed entered his classroom on the first day of school.

"What's your name?" asked the teacher.

"Mohamed," he replied.

"You're in America now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Kevin."

Mohamed returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohamed?" his mother asked.

"My name is not Mohamed. I'm in America and now my name is Kevin."

"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"
And his mother beat him.

Then she called his father, told him what happened and he beat him again.

The next day Mohamed returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises.

"What happened to you, Kevin? she asked.

"Well ma'am, shortly after becoming an American, I was attacked by two fuckin' Arabs

A guy gets out of prison after two years. His wife and kids pick him up at the main gate.

The guy says to his wife, "F.F." His wife responds, "E.F." The man says, no "F.F." The wife says, "No way-E.F."

This goes on for about five minutes before one of the kids asks, " What the hell are you people talking about?"

The father responds " Your mom wants to eat first."

What's red, screams and goes around in circles?


A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.

Two years ago, for Valentine's Day you gave her flowers. They lasted a day.
Last year, you gave her a box of chocolates. It lasted a week.
This year, give her herpes. It'll last forever.

Bob walks into his local pharmacy and the pharmacist say:
- "Hey there Bob, what can I get ya?"
- "A box of condoms" replies Bob.
- "Condoms?" says the pharmacist. "You and the wife having safe sex now.?"
- "Naw, there for my daughter" says Bob.
- "Your daughter?Cindy! Shes only 15. Your daughter is sexually active at 15?!" says the pharmacist.
- "Active! Hell no she isnt active" says Bob. "She practically just lays there!"

What's the difference between a whore and a pet shop seller ?



The whore can sell the same pussy more than once...




...provided that is has been cleaned

The Eagles announced on their FB page that ex-coach Buddy Ryan is battling cancer. I got on there and posted, "beat this like an offensive coordinator."

we should be getting some great new Godzilla films out of Japan in the next few years!

(maybe not exactly a joke, but certainly tasteless)

Unrelated to the article, but at the bottom I noticed this:

I wish more news organizations would do this. We can allow the well-reasoned dissenting comments, but clear out the spam and illiterate/racist nonsense, while still maintaining our Web 2-point-schmo credibility, right?

You're so highbrow. I went straight to sickipedia. Admittedly, I was disappointed but at least I tried.

What has more brain than Kurt Cobain?







His ceiling.

saw his jacket at the hard rock cafe in las vegas years ago. shame what he did. join the "27 club" and all. joplin, morrison, hendrix....cobain. who have i forgotten?

I heard it "What's red and white, and has more brains than Kurt Cobain? Kurt Cobain's living room wall."

Still funneh, tho. And tasteless.

What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?





We’d eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

This one was used as an icebreaker during a language class that I attended a couple of weeks ago. I can guarantee you that it is the only thing from that class that anyone will remember.

Q: What is the difference between a vet and a dentist?
A: Vets can't marry their patients.

BREAKING NEWS

All mini-marts, convenient stores, hotels, Duncan Donuts and 7-11's will be closed this week due to death in family.

What's 3 feet tall, is black and blue, and gives great head?




My ten year old son.

Pippa Middleton's arse is like a JK Rowling book.






You know Harry's going to be in it.

The Royal Wedding, live on YouTube.






The Royal Honeymoon, live on RedTube.

The Royal colonoscopy, live on InnerTube.

How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

You don't know, man, you weren't THERE!

:bolt:

(In my defense, the VVs I've told this joke to thought it was pretty funny.)

How many SEALS does it take to screw in a lightbulb....?

:bolt: :bolt:

:lol:

One really short one?

You do not need to know.

It depends on which news source you ask.

And they'll never get a commendation from the House anyway. :D

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy being politically incorrect on Muslims...

IF......

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Muslim

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You may be a Muslim

3. You have more wives than teeth.
You may be a Muslim

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof, and suicide.
You may be a Muslim

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
You may be a Muslim

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You may be a Muslim

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim

Snopes says it's not from Foxworthy.

I didn't think it was particularly funny.

but it was pretty racist

True.

Oh, be nice. It's in the Tasteless Jokes thread. Every single joke in here has been racist or otherwise horribly offensive. I can think of several that were far worse, most involving sex and children. Don't start a flame war today.

I used to go out with a Muslim woman but her views on suicide bombing were too much to take. She eventually went off with someone else.

See, now that is tasteless and racist but it's also funny.

Tasteless... OK. But it can't be a racist joke...

Islam being a religion, a muslim doesn't belong to a specific race.

True enough. Except that 'muslim' is generally used as a shorthand to describe people of a particular ethnicity.

It's the same argument used by the British National Party to protect themselves when they say things like 'muslims are like cockroaches infesting our country, and what do we do with cockroaches ?'

Obviously had they said 'Pakistanis are like cockroaches infesting our country and what do we do with cockroaches?' they'd fall foul of our racehate laws.