so umm yeah.
I just reread the string twice because the this was..confusing. what I gained from doing this is that the situation..is confusing.

I'm not trying to sound obtuse here but rather make a point:

I get the feeling this woman does not know what she wants so she is sending confusing messages. she is clearly still interested on some level or she would not have gone away with you, you would not have been in a situation that allowed you to propose, etc..but this is actually, at the current moment somewhat irrelevant it seems to me. this only establishes you are in a relationship and not a stalker

one thing I've learned in relationships is to listen to what people say AND do and SAY and do..in other words, if they don't match, and you are getting mixed messages, it doesn't necessarily mean they want one thing or another or are covering it up, what it more likely means is that they don't know WHAT they want, and so they can't tell you

this also, by the way, means they can't give you what YOU WANT. the last thing in the world you want is to marry someone who is not sure or confused. being with her will probably make her more confused. and you more confused. if you are getting % points towards "I want to flee and don't even know if I want to go away with you" this is not a good sign for a workable relationship. at least not at the moment. even if some part of them feels the same way you do


and because she is confused she also probably is not yet clearly analyzing her feelings and there are probably levels of blame. levels of betrayal. and it really doesn't matter where this is your fault.

best thing you can do is back off. way off. until she has some idea what she wants and comes after you. or doesn't. which is to say: she may or may not owe you an explanation. that is also irrelevant to the relationship and merely a matter of justice in general. and anayway, you don't seem want an explanation. you want her or closure. she is in no place to give you either.
leave it.

Tiki, you post yourself in a corner constantly. Maybe being a fast typist isnt a good thing for you to be.

Maybe you should start a new thread about how much I suck, and you and Jim and Bruce can have a party in there.

Is her posting bothering you? Or are you standing up for disenchanted? I notice you're not taking issue with any of the *content* in her posts. Maybe you think he's heard enough? Why is this even an issue for you? If disenchanted can read or ignore Tiki's posts, surely you can too.

No. No. No. Just me being bitchy. Yup I could, and you could also ignore me if I dont...too.

YEAH...we could all ignore each other...wouldn't that be lovely.


pass that pillow?

Pico. Playing the "Who's a bigger bitch?" game might make me out to look bad, but it puts you in the same boat, so if you don't like me, you might want to reconsider whether you want to wedge yourself into the same category with that which you despise.

you're just itching aren't you? like a muscle cramp in your psyche. like a hemorrhoid on your soul.

{{carnival music}}
step right up folks, Tiki is taking all comers. See if you can last 3 minutes in the ring! The pugilists among you can't pass up this opportunity to test your metal against the "Island God of Grousing!"

There's only one rule, here folks....but only Tiki knows what that rule is, and she can change that rule at any time! Step right up!

If you can last just 3 minutes in the ring with her, you win a bunch of shitty comments from people like ........well. you know who, dontcha? if you can't......well....you win the same exact thing.

{{/carnival music}}

Logic? On MY internets? BLASPHEMY! Stone the heretic!

Must you say *everything* you think?

We all got it, the same one thought, the first twenty times you said it. Save some oxygen for the rest of us, ok?

i'M HOLDING MY BREATH AS I TYPE THE FOLLOWING:



"EAT A DICK, SIR!"

Tiki, I would probably like you in person, you have a lot of interests and seem to be a well-rounded open-minded person. I just havent liked the way you have talked to some people on this forum. It really is troll-like and aggressive. And so I poked you. As others have.

disenchanted-
I think you didn't do anything wrong on purpose. I agree with daff that you were probably getting mixed signals. Here's the thing tho, if your girl had agreed to go away for the weekend based on your promise of "no pressure," then she expected it to be "no pressure." When she told you "surprise me" she obviously didn't mean for you to do so that particular weekend. Or at least that seems obvious to me. You said the week leading up to the weekend was great, ya'll were having a marvelous time with each other. Probably due to the fact that you had promised that there would be "no pressure" that weekend. She felt secure that she wouldn't have to be answering such a heavy question and that allowed ya'll to relax and get along better. I'm saying all of this because although I know you listened to your heart, I don't believe you were truly listening to her. "Surprise me" does not mean "surprise me on the weekend we've already decided will not be the weekend."
If you do get back with her, leave all this behind you. When ya'll talk it out, take the blame. That might seem hard, because you seem to want to find fault with what she said. Its not what she said, but how you interpreted what she said. So don't bring it up. Say you made a mistake, you misunderstood and that you will try better to understand her wants. I don't think you have a chance to truly mend things otherwise.
I'm going off of what I know as a woman, and how I would feel about the situation. I know that I would kick you out the door so fast if you started blaming me.

I know you well enough to recognize that is meant as a term of endearment, or an insult, or just the thing you say when you can't think of anything else to say.

I know I have not endeared myself to you. No love lost there. And your ability to insult me is on par with the neighbor's dog barking--a content-free annoyance.

Which leaves only silence-filling, last-word having reflex. I get it. You are saying the same nothing over and over and over again. All I'm asking is that you just say it silently, please. If necessary, sit on your hands.

I must admit that I'm curious as to what message or non-message you see me repeating, V? In your words, what is it that I'm saying?