The moment he leaves the room.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Did you hear about the house the two lesbians built?

There were no studs; it was all tongue-and-groove.

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 

Just one. All she has to do is the handy man.

Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 

When you start off with two lesbians, "handy man" is an oxymoron. :-)

Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 

As intended, there are two characters in the joke. One who is a lesbian, the other is a handy man. Sorry if it went over your head, but the lesbian in the joke would still prefer a man to screw it in for her. The bulb that is and the handy man only likes women but I felt no need to include that information in the joke. My answer is still "just one". It is an original. No sarcasm intended, honest.

: ]

"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?"

Nothin', y'already done told'er twice. :)

Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 

Sorry if it went over *your* head, but for a lesbian, there's nothing handy about a man. :-) It is true that how much some men would like to believe lesbians need them for *anything* other than the occasional sperm donation is one of the funniest things on the planet.

How many fleas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but the problem is getting them in there to begin with.

I dunno, maybe "now that's what I call being 'hard up' for nookie?".

Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 

You mean lesbians have learned to open vacuum-sealed jars, do basic automobile maintenence, and read maps? Damn, there go those subjugation strategies right out the window.

Hmph. I'll bet you're the one who gave away the secrets, too. You're not going to tell the heterosexual women, are you?

I hear they can parallel park too ...

Yeah, sure wolf. You'll believe anything you see on TV.

"Now with quadrasteering, to help you get in tight spaces." Of course they don't show the woman getting out of the car and letting the professional driver in to back in between those motorcycles.

Do you know why Helen Keller was such a bad driver? Oops, sorry.. already done :)

Just because the chick ... er... woman in that commericial with the bikers drives an SUV and is able to parallel park does NOT make her a lesbian!!

My apologies if I spoiled your fantasy.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 

Naw....none of them will sleep with me. :-)