Glatt shows what an actual thinking parent can do with a problem. We took the hit at a local bike shop for two medium blue bikes, but then again I was in the industry for a while... I also feel like those themed box store bikes do their best to replace the child's imagination with a pre-constructed universe.

My sister and our next door neighbour. And their blue bikes.
This probably explains a lot about my Mum, poor thing.

From blue bikes to the red light district in Amsterdam.
It's a goddamn slippery slope I tell you!

Mine was burgundy.
But the Germans stole the Dutch's bicycles when they retreated.
Hence the football chant "Give us our bikes back!"
And there is an odd childhood joke about bike meaning fanny (front-bottom) in German...
... and I have no idea where I am going with this apart from to say

If you don't give my football back I'm gonna get my Dad on you.
So there.

I remember a joke like that too, something about 'he's riding his bike'

I don't have your football...

Someone's got it.
Don't make me get all Jules Rimet on you.

Ugh

But, it does have a neck, and that neck has a color...

What. The. Fu--KILLIT!!!!KILLLIIITNOW!!!!

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If that's real, I bet she runs like the wind.

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Well, of course there's a story behind it...

The feature started with something like "Look how much Kurt and Goldie's son looks like them!"

I don't think he looks at all like either of them, but, I would like to know where Woody Harrelson was nine months before Wyatt was born:

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Now, if you want to see a child who looks her parent:

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I don't know about all of that, but Goldie's latest facelift was cunningly successful. She looks great.

Looks botoxic.

I see Kurt in him. Look at his chin