That's a question with a truly complex answer. I'm not sure if I can answer effectively.

Some people say that they don't care what anybody thinks about them, but I think such people are fooling themselves. On some level, conscious or otherwise, they care about the opinions of others. One of the easiest, and most ironic, ways to prove this is to watch such a person defend their "I don't care what people think" attitude when you question it. They won't necessarily get emotional, but they will make a significant effort to make you believe them. Why try to convince anybody of anything if you don't care what they think?

Humans are social animals, and interaction with others is a necessity for survival, helpful for finding happiness, and obviously unavoidable in procreating. I assert that a healthy psyche MUST value the input of others, though the weight given to any outside opinion should vary depending on the source's trustworthiness, awareness of key facts, state of mind, etc. Society is the product of opinions, and society gives us a yardstick against which to measure our success, allowing us to strive for improvment. Everybody wants to have value.

So... I think one's hot buttons are tied to those personal traits which one holds most valueable, because for another person to question those traits is to risk losing one's perceived value. Basically, for the benefit of my own self-worth, it is important to me that I am trusted... so to question my integrity triggers a strong defense mechanism.

Another possibility... trust is a kind of power (not in a negative sense). If everyone trusts me, I have greater power, because my word is enough to get me much of I want and need. For someone to call my trustworthiness into question jeopardizes that hard-won power to some degree, so my reflex is to defend it with an equal but opposite intensity.

Too deep? Sorry.

OK, MY BAD.

that part was just to lighten the post a little.

[sarcasm] maybe you could make this your personal mission and get the sonofabitch fired. I wonder if he has kids? If you can get me a little bit more info on him, I can help you trash his credit rating. Then maybe we could seduce his wife. oh, and how about getting the IRS to take a nice long look at him. I know someone there. he'll be suicidal in a matter of months. will you feel better then? [/sarcasm]

At this point, everyone who matters trusts your integrity, but some are becoming wary of your capacity for overreaction.

You have humiliated him multiple times, Pastrami-San. You have won. You need not gut him. Allow yourself the enjoyment of victory. Take in a nice film perhaps.

I dunno, UT. I just got of the phone with Troy and he said Allen Bellows is a big fat liar and he never went to troy's theater or wrote a letter.:eek: Just kidding, Pas. I agree with what Warch said, but I also know somethings you have to pursue peace of mind. Only you know what that entails.:)

Ok. I'm hearing Mr. Miyagi. Wax on. Wax off. Wax on. Wax off. :)

excuse me sir, but if the VP is such a VIP shouldn't we keep the PC on the QT? otherwise it could leak out to the VC and he'd be listed an MIA and then we'd all be put on KP. - good morning vietnam:D

HP you've got the upper hand. take the free passes or don't take them. i like your reasoning that you will visit other theaters as well. as my boss used to say (and still does) "it only takes one 'aw shit' to fuck up a hundred 'atta-boys'"

Not as sick as the Europeans telling everyone everywhere to become Christians or die, though.

Well, since my last post was obviously waaayyyy too far away from the part I was quoting to even make any sense, I should probably try to get on topic (I mean the most recent topic in this rather versatile thread...and HP, many condolences on your Aunt's passing. I trust she is on the other side, smiling down on all of us, especially you).

Anyway, if you aren't satisfied with what the two corporate drones said, then by all means, carry on. The reason that their messages admit no personal responsibility is that they aren't allowed to admit that. It might open the door for some sort of legal action, so no one is going to openly admit any dereliction of duty, aggression or anything else that might even remotely be able to be construed as actionable. Remember, we award millions of dollars to people who are too stupid to know that hot coffee is hot these days. Who's to say some jury who had also been mistreated while standing in line for a film wouldn't give you a few thou just to get even?

Bottom line is that 'service' business no longer provide services. They herd cattle, extracting cash from their hides at every opportunity. Where you go to see a movie is immaterial to them, because you are merely one of the herd. Very few movie theaters go out of business because they treat people poorly. They go out of business because the demographic of the area they are in changes, or their technology and accoutrements are superceded by other, newer facilities. Therefore, you simply don't matter to them, and the fact that you got any letters at all is pretty remarkable.

I was also extremely impressed by the literacy level of the boss. Christ, I'll be he makes $200k+, and he can't even express himself. His minimum wage secretary was probably out for the day or something. I used to work for a guy who was a millionaire, yet couldn't spell correctly any word over five letters long.

Keep nailing them...go over the boss guy's head. Leave Vibram sole prints on his scalp. Bitch until *you* feel vindicated.

Perhaps you're right. But I don't want to be guilty of underreacting, either. I feel that the part where he called me a liar is pretty much satisfied, but his treatment of my wife still bugs me.

I don't think you can accurately judge whether I'm overreacting, though.... Keep in mind that you got the nice, filtered, third-person perspective of what happened... you didn't have to see that smug, superior sonuvabitch basically call you a liar to your face. You didn't have him standing over your wife in a movie theater, threatening to throw you out if you don't apologize, when he was the one who wronged first, and refuses to apologize himself, denying that he'd done anything wrong. All this a few days before Christmas.

ljim, I know you were being sarcastic, but maybe the shithead should lose his job. Maybe he pulls this shit all the time. I'm not going to try to get him fired, but I will persue this to my satisfaction, and if that results in him losing his job, then so be it. If I treated a customer like he treated me, I'd deserve to get fired. That's just the way business works when it comes to customer service.

I haven't decided how to reply exactly, if at all, but I do intend to refuse the tickets. My principles can't be bought off.

Of course that would give him 24-7 for a nut job revenge scenerio...

Looking in, I think you got your pound of flesh. If he does it again, the paper trail exists for a firing. You've done your part, if this was out of character for him, he's been warned. If this is normal behavior, they'll get rid of him.

If it doesn't bug her, the problem remains solved.

In fact the only problem that remains is in your mind, and it continues to do terrible damage there, far beyond the initial disrespect which is now well in the past.

ya know, this is the kind of thing that used to get settled by a good ole fashioned fist fight. But for SOME reason, that kind of behavior is FROWNED upon nowadays. go figger

That sort of thing works if both guys are about the same build. Really nothing gets decided, but they both get their agression worked out.

But I'm on the small side. Odds are against me in a fistfight.

Hey, maybe you could challenge him to a Quakefest and frag him into slag.

That poor woman. All she wanted was a cup of coffee, and now she's a pariah.

Originally posted by jinx
That "poor" woman sued because she spilled coffee on herself.

She deserves to be a pariah - she is a symbol of a new social phenomenon whereby the responsibility of the irresponsible is transferred to the nearest deep pocket by 12 neanderthal jurors and unethical attorneys.

I don't blame the woman for spilling coffee in her lap. I do it all the time. I do, however, blame her, her attorney and a broken legal system (that the trial lawyers want to stay broke) for basically stealing three million dollars in plain sight.

And I'm supposed to feel sorry for her? How's that? :confused: