Okay, so can a woman make up a list of qualifying characteristics for the "dream man"?

OHHH THIS SHOULD BE GOOD !!!:D :D

I agree, it's the best solution. I mean, who could complain about that? Also, our toilet is right next to the sink, so I also make sure the lid's down while I'm futzing with my contacts. I can just imagine dropping one down the toilet.

Oh and thanks Bruce. Great answer.

The answer is:
Undertoad! :D

NEAR PHILLY
 

toad,

What do you do for a living when you ARE employed? I'm in Chadds Ford.

I'm real new here and don't have the background on the situation with the future exwife. Why is she giving up? ( if its not too personal to discuss) do you guys fight, or avoid each other.....the latter is worse in my mind.

kids?

Other music to avoid at a time like this: The Cure, The Smiths.

You're right to avoid the weed at this point, although normally it has good uses, it does not help at all with depression. Try hard physical labor. aka, nailing all of your wife's shoes up on the roof, or sawing the legs off of her favorite furniture. Be petty, be very petty. short sheet her bed........did you ever see "the war of the roses"?

Well, now that I've finished putting the shards of my ass back together.....

I never realized the whole 'seat' debate was such a touchy subject! Sorry to light your fire Bruce....

I won't even begin to ask about the whole toilet paper debate (does the flap go on the INSIDE of the roll or the OUTSIDE?)

Oh, and by the way...I do do something, I usually clean the bathroom.....and I tend want to keep it clean. Just one of my 'thangs'.

Dagney

I don't think he really meant that energetic response to be directed towards you specicifically. No doubt many other women have pushed him over the edge. :)

I'm a tech guy and an Internet guy, jack of all trades sort. I have a small business doing web development and programming. It's all out of my home. It used to be bigger but collapsed in the bubble burst. (Many of the ashes of the business are still visible at catalystinternet.com. I plan to redo that site though, to reflect an individual and not a team.) I make enough money to make half a living at it, and I've kinda been in "maintenance mode", but now must gear up.

(Either that or get a "real job", or contracting work through an agency... possibly...)

!No kids!

The truth of it is that we have been in a mostly loveless marriage our whole time together, and have been working hard make it work all along, and she has come to the thinking that it won't ever work.

For a long time she felt that she needed the security of me and the life that we built together. Then she went to therapy, and went on medications, and started to solve her personality problems of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and whatnot. In the last two months, it seems, she has become a whole new person, suddenly spontaneous and carefree. I think she figured out that she was leaving on Labor Day, and resolved made the changes in herself that she needed to make.

Three weeks ago she went on a dude ranch vacation by herself and met some other independent people who have made lives without men around (well they're lesbians). This gave her some confidence. And also, she met another guy, who took an immediate liking to her. In this she was able to see how other people make it on their own, and to prove her own desireability to herself by, you know, sleeping with the guy and becoming instantly and immediately infatuated with him in a way she never did with me. They still talk every night on the phone. She doesn't know if it'll last but she's having fun. OK.

She has committed to an apartment on 11/1 and will be moving out that day, taking with her the least number of items she needs to build a new life from scratch.

Number of apartments she looked at before deciding: 1. I don't recognize this person, who used to be the most cautious individual ever built. Every decision used to be met with long lists of pros and cons and agonizing. Suddenly even the big decisions are immediate and carefree.

dude ranch
 

ouch! my wife wanted to go to one of those with the women from her "moms with minds"loop ( also mostly lesbians) glad it never happened......another guy .......grrrrr

11 YEARS

well....i'd say get out there and start flirting.....that's all great that you helped her find her true self and gave her the confidence she was missing, but for her to turn around and stick it up your butt like that at the first sign of a clear sky sucks canal water. she talks to this guy on your phone with you in the house......fuck! that's just wrong...I'm all pissed off over it. that's disrespect at its utmost, and if you stand for that, you deserve it. Toughen up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are the man. Get free! Do not allow her infidelity in your house. damn! tell her she can call all the men she wants from HER phone when sh's out! Meanwhile, paybacks!! bring a couple ho's home and rub her nose in it......

remember that he who recovers first recovers best.


all that said......if im off base and there is more going on, i apologize

And I was being nice because I like you.:D
It sets me off because it's a recognizable tip of an unseen but persistant undercurrent. What I perceive as an unfair attitude of mens inherent behavior being bad while womens inherent behavior being good without regard fair and equitable.
It's the old "If a man speaks and a woman doesn't hear him, is he still wrong?" kind of thing. Sorry if I startled you, Dagney. :)

It's okay Bruce, I have fairly thick skin....

(although I must say, my first response was..."What the fuck crawled up HIS ass"....)

But I still love you :) (Even if we can't agree on the position of the toilet seat!)

Dagney

on second thought
 

toad,

as i think more about this, you should be happy. a loveless relationship from the beginning.....now you'll be free to pursue a loving relationship with a more adjusted and appropriate mate. Keep her as afriend, which she must be for you to tolerate the above treatment, and don't dwell on the loss of a ROOMATE....just get a better one.

and btw, bruce, you're right about the toilet seat conspiracy.....and the only viable solution IS to keep it closed when not in use. beyond that, you could install a urinal.

PERFECT MAN
 

I got this, cougar

the perfect man:

2 ft tall, can breath through his ears and has a ten inch tongue