Merc is out for the week due to concussion.
Bruce is out due to management displeasure at his request for a wage increase.
Lookout is on the bench.

No other players have approached the club to play as of yet.

Sorry I'm late, coach!

:: polishes boots ::

What about the verse they left out

Lord, grant that Marshal Wade,
May by thy mighty aid,
Victory bring.
May he sedition hush and like a torrent rush,
Rebellious Scots to crush,
God save the King.

Rebellious Scots to Crush aye come ahead :D

I've got my crushing boots on!
Let's be having you!

:rotflol:

Unfortunately, the game was delayed by 24 hours due to circumstances only slightly under the coach's control. All tickets to the game will be honored tomorrow.

Phuucckkk....meeee...what a blistering hangover. You say the game ended three days ago? And why is my hand so goddamn sore? Oh..oh yeah. Something about SG repeatedly slapping it and tell me that "these are for Bruce". But she wasn't talking about oranges, was she?

I should be ready for the next game alright if I can just find that other keg of Guinness.

To the tune of Cliff's Spatula Boy:

when I was young, my father said
Son I have something to say
You'll be an Arrows fan
until your dying day

I-I said....
bollocks ya cunt, I'm a Cellar fan
and that's the way i'll stay
happy to be a cellarite
until my dying day.

by the way, I'll play if my knee is recovered. Don't put me in goal, though. I just need to wash the paintballs off my cleats.

To the tune of Land of Hope and Glory

We will follow the Cellar
Over land and sea (AND ARROWS!)
We will follow the Cellar
On to victory....

usually followed by
Get into 'em
Get into 'em
(repeat until only a small amount of people are joining in)

Can someone get Flint along?
We need at least one drum - ideally two
I have terrible rhythm, but if I can find an airhorn I'll bring it

Sorry for the delay folks, it was a cracker of a match. The word must be getting out because the stands were full. I was extremely happy to know we were at our home field. Even so, the Cool Arrows faithful were a large and roudy bunch. They had their catcalls, whistles, streamers, and flares ready to go. Sundae Girl did a great job gathering the Cellar crew though. I saw SG, Els, LJ, Jinx, Ducksnuts, Sycamore, and BigV in the crowd at different times. I heard rumors that Bruce came disguised as a vato (wife beater, bandana, and all) and hung with the cool arrows support.

Our line up was mostly the same with the addition of Monster on the bench with me and Merc. Merc was a bit slow with his speech and still slurring a bit, but I put him on the bench because I honestly don't know if that was from the tequila or the concussion.


Special contest of the week: First person to tell me the significance of the name Cool Arrows and post it here gets to pick the final scoreline for the next game. I will pick the scenario and outcome to fit that scoreline from random submissions again. BTW, today's details were provided by Classicman. He caught the tiger's toe this week.

Right then, onto the game.

The game was a bit frightening to begin with. The Cool Arrows came at us fast and hard. Clodfobble had to make her first acrobatic save at the half minute mark. I believe she was more rattled at hearing "PUTA!!!"shouted by the opposing supporters than actually having to block the shot in the first place. She was quite upset until UT explained that it was Mexican tradition to jeer the keeper, not a personal insult.

The first half was honestly uglier than I had imagined. We never really seemed to get things together. Rat made a nice run down the right, leaving her marker in the dust, but her cross was outside of HLJ's reach. It got even worse as the rain started. The less than pristine field quickly turned boggy. It didn't help our attacking play at all, but it did help a bit as our central midfield duo of Classic and Glatt were able to rely on their mental toughness and physical strength a bit more because the rain slowed down the fleet footed coolarrows. Griff made a crunching tackle on their center forward and Wolf slotted the ball out to Dani who was able to make a nice feint out before passing into Glatt who found an open Sleeve in the box. Sleeve hit it true but their keeper blocked him out. Our team was a little disheartened there, I think. They were caught offguard as the cool arrows immediately countered and were able to snatch a goal against the run of play.

We only managed to put one more shot on target during the first period. UT robbed their left winger and lobbed the ball up to Rat who found Classic surging forward. He brought it under control with a deft left foot before being cut down just before the whistle. It really was a harsh challenge that fully deserved the yellow card we received. Classic stepped up to take the kick only for it to slam straight into the crossbar. That's the half then. We were down 1-nil and looked out of ideas.

The team looked beat at the half so I made the first of my changes. Wolf was sitting on a yellow after suggesting a rather invasive sanity check for the linesman after an offside call didn't go her way, so I chose to err on the side of safety and replaced her with Glatt and put Monster into Glatt's holding mid spot. UT and Sleeve switched spots as did Zengum and HLJ.

SG did her best to bring some cheer to the side with her oranges and, well, I'll leave the rest unsaid. I did notice Els had left her side with some bruised knuckles but it worked out as he joined Flint in the stands for a little drumwork. The crowd really did an excellent job of bringing the energy and it became infectious. Upon retaking the field Dani provided me with my belly laugh of the day. She kicked out at her opposite number completely unprovoked, but to hear this manc tart shout, "chinga tu puta madre" in the face of a completely stunned forward... ah, just delicious.

Anyway, it looked to be our time as the whistle blew. Our team really came out strong and as rain tapered off we finally got some fluid passing going. We made some excellent runs through the center as Rat was marauding up and down the right throwing tackles on their now helpless left mid. About five minutes into the half Griff went up to clear a cross and knocked skulls with their center forward. He looked pretty dazed so Merc went in for him shouting, "no problem mom, my heads fine and I let the dog out". Whatever. Merc and Glatt proved to be a very strong pairing as they locked the opposition out of the box from that point on. UT made a nice backheel pass to release Zengum, but the timing was just a bit off and Zen was denied. Then it happened. Tempers had started to flair just a bit on the field as well as the stands. Merc came in with a textbook slide to stop the advancing Ramos. Ramos was flattened and didn't look likely to get up. Merc was immediately cautioned, not for his tackle which was clean, but for preventing the medical staff from treating Ramos until his immigration status was verified. This set off tempers in the stands and it looked to get a bit ugly. My understanding is that Bruce was able to calm things down there when he announced he was a Cellar man. He had, of course, seduced two of the latin lovelies he was seated with so the waters were calmed there.

When the ball was put back in to play everyone was pumped and ready to go. With only 15 minutes left Merc passed out to monster who flicked it onto UT. UT beat his man and was 1 v 1 with the keeper. Rather than take the shot at a difficult angle UT made a lovely turn and slotted the ball into a charging Zengum who caught the keeper flat footed. GOAL!!! 1-1 with fleeting clock.

The teams really moved out at that point. I set Classic in back to guard the back four and everyone else kept on a steady assault in the opposition's half. A number of shots were deflected by their excellent keeper. Finally it looked like we had the chance we needed as we won a last second corner on the left. Classic stepped out to kick and everyone, Clodfobble included, came forward. As it happened Merc was the first to make contact but it came back off the keeper. Monster took a quick step then smashed it only to watch it fly out after hitting HLJ's backside. The final whistle came none too soon for anyone.

1-1 draw against a technically superior team. I honestly can't complain about that.

It looks as if Bruce is coming back into the fold after rediscovering his love for the club. Or it could be he remembered how easy it was to get the nookie when you utter the simple phrase, "why yes, I am a footballer."

Well done team. Until next time, let the beers flow.

Great game. We will smoke them next time.

Outstanding! We are still undefeated! - good job everyone.

Yes, well done everyone. Get those muscles back in good order and take it easy. Our next game is not until Monday.