What a brilliantly evocative phrase

Yes, a keeper for sure. :thumbsup:

And one from the pen of regional author H. Allen Smith, who wrote a lot about Texas, chili, and an orange tomcat named Rhubarb. Plenty of ecstatic kneading on a typewriter eventually delivered this line from Son of Rhubarb: "Your Honor, I move this testimony be stricken on the grounds that this witness could not find his crotch with both hands if his jockstrap were on fire."

"Nobody Knows More About Chili Than I Do"

"bought the farm"
 

I believe that "bought the farm" stems from collecting one's life insurance policy so as to have enough money to pay off the mortgage,,,for one's survivors.

rag = newspaper (more often used by older folks)

slower than pond water = a southernism used by my Dad

"trunk" you probably know, but when I first came across the British word "boot," I was perplexed for days. ;)

Yes, boots and bonnets have nothing to do with automobiles. :D

does the carpet match the drapes?

cuffs and collars match?

Boy, if I could get Shine in this. Other day I heard him say something like, screwed up as bad as S*&ting in grandma's churn.
Mine, tangled up like a snake under a lawn mower

I think my favourite is '90 percent of imports come from abroad'

Even better, when they charge for Shiner Bock as an import beer. It's brewed here in Texas.

In that case, I guess they think import means "not Budweiser, Miller, or Coors" . . . ???

I guess that must fall in the 10% of imports that don't come from abroad.

BFE = really far away (like where you'll find a parking space at the mall this time of year)

and then you'll need to walk a fur piece.

Does anyone know where "cleaned their clocks" comes from? I used it last weekend, and I've been trying to figure out where it came from ever since.


Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Not the brightest apple in the tree


I think that "cats fucking dogs" is nowhere near as popular as "cats and dogs sleeping together" or "it's raining cats and dogs".