The Cellar

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-   -   Some Dwellars know more than the Senate Intel Cmte (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=12704)

Undertoad 12-14-2006 11:59 AM

HM, it's your reputation. I know you're familiar with staple guns. If you stood in front of a wall of mailboxes, a few feet away, and shot at them,

1) What are the probabilities that the staple remains in "bars out" position during its flight?

1a) If it doesn't, what are the probabilities that it strikes the wall in "bars out" position?

2) If it does, what are the probabilities that the staple flies directly into the mailbox of your arch-enemy and someone whom you believe to be a physical danger to you... even if you aimed it directly?

3) If it does, what are the probabilities that it flies in with so much force that it can't be removed?

4) Played again, why can't you see it?

lumberjim 12-14-2006 12:00 PM

no one is making you read this thread, jr.

lumberjim 12-14-2006 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey
Whatever.

exactly.

Elspode 12-14-2006 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yesman065
appalled, embarrassed and proud to be a member of the cellar(

There's your new user title, man. Sweet!

Happy Monkey 12-14-2006 12:30 PM

If someone shoots a BB at the floor in an open-air range, what are the chances that it hits me right in the eye, on one riccochet with enough force to be extremely painful, but not quite enough for permanent damage? I dunno, pretty low, but it happened anyway. I guess it's pretty convenient for me that I can't prove it, since my eye is OK now, and I covered up the incident, to keep the shooter out of trouble.

As for the staple, I didn't say it was likely. But 3) is pretty likely if it goes in; locks are bumpy enough on the inside to make removal difficult. And it doesn't have to go in "bars forward", just "bars forward, back, up, or down, but not left or right".

Likely? No. But lots of things aren't likely.

Beestie 12-14-2006 12:42 PM

HM, after all that has happened, I'm dumbstruck that you could think the ban was avoidable. If nothing else, implicit in your assumption is the idea that XOB is trigger-happy and you know that ain't right.

Which is it? Do you think the Cellar was a better place with her in it or that banning her violated some inalienable right she has to post on someone else's board?

Undertoad 12-14-2006 12:48 PM

A BB is as perfectly round as they can manufacture it, partly so that it travels through the air and maintains a high rate of speed and accuracy, and the force of a BB gun is intended to make the round travel 50 feet or something, and strike a target, so... yeah...

A staple gun does not produce enough force to go through a single sheet of newspaper at six inches. It does not produce enough force to go through a sheet of tissue at two feet. Try it. I just did, using my Craftsman Heavy Duty Dual Action with 1/2" heavy duty staples.

Maybe this is an airplane/treadmill problem. The reason a staple gun staples is not because it propels the staple forward at a high rate of speed. The reason a staple gun staples is because there's a big piece of metal, driven by a spring, pushing the staple into what you're stapling.

You can't accidentally staple something by shooting at it with a staple gun. Try it. The staple gun is not actually a gun.

dar512 12-14-2006 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad
4) Played again, why can't you see it?

I don't have a particular opinion one way or another about how likely that scenario is. For all I know she might have bunged the thing in with a hammer.

But, do you think that she is the only one who ever lied in the Cellar? I don't have anything in particular in mind, but I'm guessing no. Certainly she's made some bad life choices, but she's also not the only one on the Cellar who's done that.

I admit that there's a lot of the Cellar I don't read, so I might have missed something else. But I have to say that like HM, I don't get it.

Beestie 12-14-2006 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad
A staple gun does not produce enough force to go through a single sheet of newspaper at six inches. It does not produce enough force to go through a sheet of tissue at two feet.

That depends on how much hot air is behind it. In this particular case, I think the extra energy would easily permit the staple to penetrate a two-inch thick sheet of polymer-reinforced titanium like it was a stick of warm butter.

Happy Monkey 12-14-2006 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad
A staple gun does not produce enough force to go through a single sheet of newspaper at six inches.

Um, a staple doesn't have to pierce anything to get stuck in a lock.

Happy Monkey 12-14-2006 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie
Which is it? Do you think the Cellar was a better place with her in it

Yes.

lumberjim 12-14-2006 01:17 PM

HM, you're suggesting that coconuts migrate.

Happy Monkey 12-14-2006 01:34 PM

I never thought that the staple actually pierced the lock. I can see why people might be so certain it was a lie if that's what they thought. I thought the staple went into the keyhole and got stuck.

Undertoad 12-14-2006 01:58 PM

[youtube]ukOSm_-E3Hs[youtube not ready yet]

This'll probably be available in another hour or so. The Divx version is available for download here.

lumberjim 12-14-2006 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey
I never thought that the staple actually pierced the lock. I can see why people might be so certain it was a lie if that's what they thought. I thought the staple went into the keyhole and got stuck.

really? really, really? you believed that? honestly?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigliar
I went around with my staple gun and my fliers and I posted a flyer in front of the post office and then went in to check my mail. Well, as fate would have it, the ax murder's PO Box is in the row right above mine. When I walked in this afternoon, the postal workers had gone home for the day and no one else was in the post office. I had my handy staple gun in my hip pocket, and I whipped it out and pretended to be Annie Oakley and shot at the ax murderer's box.

Well, damned if I didn't score a direct bull's eye! The staple went right into the key hole of his box. Now, I am not a good shot and the odds of this happening must have been a zillion to one.

I stood there for a moment dazzled by my excellent shooting skills until I realized its probably a Federal crime to tamper with someone's post office box. So I went over and tried to pry the staple out. It was in there good! I tugged at it and it finally snapped off with part of the staple still in the key hole.

The ax murderer is not going to be able to open his box on Monday, and I will be the prime suspect. This wouldn't bother me but for the fact that the post office might have one of those closed circuit cameras like ATM's do and what if my Calamity Jane stunt got caught on video?

isn;t it much more likely that she was trying to pick the lock?


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