Is it "giving up" or "realising the value of your investment of time and effort"?
At times like this I toss a coin to decide. You have to really believe that you will do what the coin tells you to do when you look at it, and I do mean really. Note your reaction to what the coin told you to do - relief? Misery? Then ... go with your gut, follow that reaction.
You can't use this method too often, but just now and again you can suspend your disbelief long enough to find out what the reaction tells you.

This isn't about giving up. My practice is at a point where a decision has to be made. I can't grow any more without significant investment (which I just can't swing right now), but it has significant value to anyone who purchases it. I have good name recognition and networks that could take someone else considerable time and effort to establish if they start from scratch. At the same time, if I sell and stay as an employee the new owner would receive value from my continued production. They win. I win.

I'm burned out and tired of having everything rest solely on me. In all honesty if I could think of something better to do I'd walk away entirely.

Maybe at some point in the future you will think of something better to do, and having sold the business will be able to walk away. In the meantime, this sounds like a good solution. Hard to swallow, I know. But you may find that, with the pressure of being 'the decider' removed, you rediscover some enthusiasm for what you do. You are, after all, very good at it. Either way, it strikes me you've done marvellously well to create a going concern in this economic climate, and getting it big enough to sell, and hand over the stressful running of it is a major achievement. You deserve to feel proud of yourself for that.

The buyout sounds awfully good to me... because you sound burned out, and this gives you 24 months when it can become clear to you whether you're better off (for whatever value of "better" is important for you) as "the employee" or "the decider."

"Grow" in what sense? More clients? More $$$ under management? What happens if you don't grow?

With your resume showing you as a successful business owner, I imagine you'll be a "decider" no matter where you work. This has been my experience.
I sold my company to my current boss (who is now my employer) a couple years ago. He matched my salary and tossed in benefits. Really scary at first, and honestly quite humbling.
It wound up to be the best decision I've ever made. Except the one about skinny dipping with Becky Sue. That was good.
I miss some things about it. The competition is the main thing.
Good luck with this, lookout.

My family. My dad. Fucking jesus dick on a pogo stick.:headshake

I used to have serious issues with my Dad, then I learned to just say, "yes Dad" and go ahead and do my own thing, or alternatively tell him I'm really not interested in what he's talking about (he used to spend a lot of time bitching about my mother even though they've been divorced for years, and she's passed away. As you can imagine, particularly after her death I really wasn't interested in his bitching) He doesn't bother doing it anymore because I stopped talking to him for almost 2 years because of it.

We have a great relationship now. We've both learned some lessons.

Tough situation mate. I wish you well.

My dad is actually awesome, and we have a great relationship... it's just that I think he may have done something REALLY stupid.

And just family drama. There's only so much you can take before it stops being cute and eccentric and starts feeling like a circus tent.

So the elbow that I split open three weeks ago is still in pain - got x-rays yesterday - My regular doc called me this a.m. to tell me he's referring me to an orthopedic doc.

Sorry, I wasn't entirely clear; what I meant was "giving up the 'I own my company' bit" ...
The consensus here seems to be give it a try. It's not a forever decision. Take 24 months of not being in the hot seat and see how you feel then ...
Best of luck whatever you decide!

Last night one of my closest friends, B, called me because one of his hens had been mauled and was in bad shape. He figured she needed to be put down, but he couldn't do it... he loves his hens, and this one, Buffy, was his favorite... the most docile and friendly of the three.

On the phone I was asking him questions about the injury, hoping it wasn't as severe as he thought, but when I got there it was... oh my god... fucking awful. :( I think a raccoon must have cornered her and then basically just started eating. I've never seen anything like it, and I didn't know a living thing could be damaged that badly and still be walking. Poor, poor little hen. Me and another friend sent him on a walk around the block while I took care of and buried Buffy. Then we took B out and got dinner and beer and hung out with him a while.

:( :( :(

Aww, that is sad. :(

Aw, Tiki. A pet is a pet. Thanks for taking care of Buffy, and your friend.

Thanks guys.

I know it's a risk of keeping chickens, but god. It was heartbreaking.

I've had chronic sinus infections/problems for awhile now. Was finally referred to an ENT, which before I had no clue about, my last doc just kept me on antibiotics. Was supposed to see the ENT today, come to find out our health insurance $$ has run out. So I can't go. I can't buy prescriptions or see any doctors unless I pay out of pocket.
We, as a family, have a $5000 deductible before insurance starts paying. The company, my dad's job, paid $2500. So we thought we had a $2500 deductible left. Wrong. We have $3750 left that we have to pay out of pocket. For some reason the first $2500 only counts as half off the deductible. I know alot of people don't have any health insurance, right now I might as well not either. I can't afford to pay for all my prescriptions, lab tests, doc visits out of pocket. Which triply pisses me off because we pay over $500/mo for health insurance.

I feel your pain. I had a tonsillectomy and sinus surgery a few years ago that ended up costing $14,000 out of pocket, despite having insurance.

Health insurance is such a racket these days.

shitty rainy fucking weather.

Moar, that's awful. Especially, as you say, since you are paying for the insurance. That's a kick in the teeth. Bad enough to be without insurance...but paying for insurance and not being able to call on it, that really is shit.


Those insurance companies need getting ahold of.

I have this pain, left hand lower back and oh.my.god...its crippling.

Ouch, there's damn little you can do that doesn't affect the lower back. :(

Flu and an infection in my mouth. Everything seemed to hit me at once on friday night. Must have been holding off til after my finals. But my word, did I ever sink like the proverbial stone! Yesterday passed in a haze of fever and sleep. Couldn't walk the dog, so mum took care of him for me. Couldn't eat, except for a little soup. I smoked maybe half a cigarette, across the whole day.

Everywhere hurts. There's a big lump on my tongue at the back that makes swallowing difficult. My mouth hurts. My back hurts. My ribs hurt. My chest hurts. But...I am at least feeling closer to human today.

I did come into the cellar a couple of times yesterday but after 5 mins had to switch off. Couldn't look at the screen for more than a minute or so, before my head and eyes hurt.

*smiles* like I say I am feeling a little better today. A little more like myself (just a sick version). Yesterday was weird. I was really out of it. Last night must have been the peak. I was having fever dreams all night. And then woke feeling like I was myself again.

So...my plans to spend the weekend listening to Doctor Who audio plays went for a burton, I couldn't concentrate on anything. I'm hoping that I continue to feel better and I will maybe listen to one later.

Is that a reference to Richard Burton's behavior?

Urr. No.

I have no idea where the phrase comes from. It's usually "gone for a burton".

I just looked it up, and apparently it's almost unused now....which surprised me, cause I use it and hear it a lot.

Means it didn't work out.

A dude I have just met (noob at the lodge) in an inane attempt at gallantry, introduced me to his wife.
Verbatim:
"Marcie, I'd like you to meet the Sargent at Arms, Tony. Tony is also an EX MARINE."
Marcie: "Great to meet you, Tony. Sam and I will be getting drunk on Monday at a BBQ at our house. We'd love for you to join us. After all... Monday is YOUR SPECIAL DAY!. Hope to see you there."

I don't think so. What a pair of asshats.

Sounds to me like she was propositioning you. ;)

Damn! I never thought of that. I really AM getting old.:smack:

geez Dana get well soon. and Morthan...I hope something is resolved for you.

Thanks sky and dana. Trying to shop for new, but its a pain.
ducks, take care of that back! Hope your kids get well soon too.
capn "getting drunk and BBQ" how did you miss THAT clue? You can't be that old.

Today's irritation is really carried over from yesterday. Went house shopping with my sis and mom. Found one house where the people were home and completely willing to show us when we called. I was first at the door, met the lady, then intro'd my sis as the prospective buyer. That was my first big mistake.
2nd mistake was making any comment at all about the house as we were looking (all compliments by the way). Aparently saying "this is a big driveway, you could have a lot of cars here." Is very rude.
So when we got done and back in the car my sis immediately started telling me how stupid and rude I am.

Why is that a rude thing to say? I don't get how that's rude.

I am feeling somewhat better thanks:) Have managed solid food today (see happy thread).

So-called "friends" of my girlfriend playing mind games with her during a very rough patch in her life.

Just as well I'm not in London any time in the near future. I can become very inventive, when provoked.

It isn't directly rude, but it is an unspoken rule of house-shopping that you don't comment about the house in front of the current owner. Most people have this weird emotional connection to their house, like they want you to love it exactly the way it is, rather than the obvious reality that you're going to bring in your own furniture and all that. There's a possessiveness that is very hard to explain. You're selling it, but you don't want to picture their stuff inside it, their cars in the driveway. It's not rude, it's just--awkward, I guess.

That being said, it's also an unspoken rule of house-shopping that the current owner is supposed to go the hell away while people are looking at their house. Preferably gone from the premises entirely, but finding some excuse to hang out in the back yard, at the very least.

I do understand what you're saying, don't get me wrong. I still don't think it was reason enough to bitch me out.

The house is for sale by owner, no realtor to show us around, so the owner had to be there. So yes, a bit touchy to mention prospects for the house, but the woman herself is showing/selling. It comes along with the territory then, and I doubt she was actually bothered herself.
Plus my sis was initially pissed off that I told the seller, that she is the buyer. Was I supposed to pretend I or my mom was? Is that not crazy?

Oh I definitely don't think it was worthy of being bitched-out, MTP. The owner deserves what she gets if she's going to hover around while you're looking.

That said, tell your sister to be very wary of buying a house without her own realtor to represent her. The seller pays the realtor fees anyway, so there's absolutely no reason for her not to use one, and they can keep you from getting screwed in a lot of different ways.

If the house is "for sale by owner", I don't believe the seller will pay realtor fees.

Aden didn't put all the cats in their room last night, so one of them was wandering around meowing in the middle of the night.

One of the dogs decided to chew up one of Dazzas bait esky's (cooler box thingy. I don't know what you call them)

Max decided to be a shit when he woke for a feed at 5am.

I'm very tired and I've had enough.

That is all.

Hmmm, was this by chance a control issue with you sister?

Yeah, that's often true, unless they've been on the market forever and have started to realize that it's really hard to sell a home by yourself, and then they start getting desperate--really, there's basically no incentive for a buyer to buy a house that's for sale by owner. The house is usually overpriced too, because everyone wants to believe their home is worth more than it is, and it's the seller's realtor who is supposed to bring a dose of reality to the situation for them.

FSBOs (pronounced fizz-bos) suck. You get what you pay for.

Or they figure they can ask a lower price and still come out with the same in their pocket.

My best buddy just closed on her awesome new home on Friday. Great planner that she is, she took a class in real estate (which was free tuition as employee perk) as she started the process of house hunting so she would know what the heck was going on. She ended up getting it for her price.

Feet are covered in ant bites and, despite the anti-itch cream, I can't fall asleep. Grr!

It'd be a real shame if your REMF caught a right hook in the snotlocker.

Discipline, CG... discipline. ;)

Update. Had a really bad night last night. Mouth just got more and more painful. New sore spots springing up every where. Molar really starting to hurt and radiate into face and jaw. Tongue and back of throat also hurting.

Decided enough was enough and wasn't going to wait until doctors and dentists open up again after holiday weekend. Got up this moring, and phoned a taxi down to A&E. Wouldn't normally bother them with something like this, but the rate of progression was worrying me. I really didn;'t want it going into my jawbone or something hideous.

I have a very badly abcessed tooth, and this has triggered the infection in the rest of my mouth. So, am now on two different anti-biotics and ibuprofen, and under strict instruction to phone my dentist tomorrow and get them to see me this week.

Couldn't chew food again today. So, in order to fulfil the 'with food' instructions, I necked a bottle of chocolate milk. That seemed to be ok. Took the ibuprofen at same time. hakf an hour later was able to manage half a tin of macaroni cheese.

God Bless Heinz. The saviour of convalescents and dickheads who don't go to the dentist when they should.

My dentist told me long ago, not to take antibiotics with milk. Somehow keeps them from working properly. Don't remember what the particular antibiotic was but it was for an abscessed tooth. :confused:

I feel for you and feel for you having to do the macaroni and cheese trick.

I have been going through this the last week. The dentist wasn't able to pull it due to the pain of the infection. * drat * now which makes me freaked plus referred me to a surgeon due to it being close to my sinus cavity. * Then why did he try to pull it to begin with!* sigh- I am almost finished with the antibiotics and it still hurts to eat.
I think I will ask for Sodium Penathol because I don't think this simple pull will be so simple.

The last tooth I had pulled WAS so simple. This one hurts and in a strange your descriptions make me feel better. I thought the jaw pain was worriesome so I'm not as worried now. You know they say misery loves company.

Lastly, Nobody sign up for Willamette Dental. It's what I get for choosing the cheapest plan. I wait a whole month for someone 60 miles away to pull my tooth.

I loose my insurance altogether in 3 months.

Was just going to say the same thing--milk coats the intestines (just like it coats your tongue when you drink it) and prevents proper absorption of most drugs (and many food nutrients too, but that's a different thread.) But if you got some relief, enough must have gotten through. Just remember, back before antibiotics, an abscessed tooth was a common cause of death. Keep that sucker in check with the meds, Dana.

oh. Oh dear. *winces* Ill be careful on the next lot then. I daresay it won;t stop them working entirely though, so it won;t have been a complete waste. Still, no sense taking further chances. I'll just make sure I time them for a little after the painkillers in future. Once they've kicked in I can stand to eat a little.


@ Sky. Oww, honey that sounds awful. God that makes mine sound much less nightmarish, the whole dentist thing sounds like it was an ordeal. lol there ye go we both made each other feel better :P





[eta] googled advice and it doesn't seem to be a factor with these two anti-biotics. No conclusive answer though. Will still avoid if poss.

So you're not on track with the celery and apples, then, Dana?
[sorry]

Umm...not sure what the fuck was going on this week. After I seemed to be getting better (tuesday? somethinglike that, I lost track) and ate food without puking...few hours later: bang back again to the puking every hour or so, only able to take in liquids, no energy, no ability to watch anything, read anything, do anything. Just drifted in and out of a haze for days, feeling like shit. Gave up on the anti-biotics entirely, but was still ill.

God bless complan, diurilytes and Mum.

SWINE FLU!!!!!!!

....did you go to the dentist?.................????....hmmmm????

Made an appointment *pleased with self*. Can't see me til Tuesday. Probably just as well. I'd have just yakked all over their surgery if I'd gone an sooner lol.

My dentist is a hell of a travel away. Worth it though. They specialise in dental phobic patients. Which is good, 'cause otherwise my teeth really would be falling out my head.

I am going crazy again. I can feel the muck inside my brain.

wish was dead. cannot go thru this again.

That's not muck, just you're dirty mind. ;)

Bri, you know and I know this is temporary.
You've been through the shit and survived it, and you won't be there forever.

Alcohol is a poison - okay in lower quatities and with amusing side effects, but not in the quantities we are capable of ingesting. But its effects don't last forever, just longer than the morning after that casual drinkers limp through.

You're walking wounded at the moment, going through hell. Dry out, get your medication sorted (seriously, they should have you on something that takes alcohol into account, like acamprosate - which I am still hoping to be offered)

I've taken myself off anti-depressants before. It's not a smart thing to do you know. I hope the new doctor works well with you. Be completely honest with him/ her.

Good luck darling.
I hope you can find yourself in all the chaos. I'm still here if you want to contact me. And I believe in you even if you can't believe in yourself at the moment. You've believed in me when I thought I had nothing to offer after all.

Please be careful Bri.

This too will end Bri. Here if you need a shoulder.

thanks, everyone. You are all very kind.

to add insult to injury, someone stole my account number and charged (fraudulently) 480.00 to my debit card, Via PAY PAL making me twice in the hole plus the 480...

sigh. I hope those fukers rot in hell.