Too soft. If they say no, ask them how they would cope if you were suddenly ill and had to be absent. Whatever they would do in that situation is what they can do in this. Maybe point out that if you don't take this leave you WILL become ill, and/or maybe point out that you are actually ill and should be on paid sick leave, and are doing them a favour by taking it as holidays. Put it in writing, CC an attorney.

Oh and here's a tip. If/when you leave this place, you will lose access to the work email, and all the record of this dispute. Set up a single purpose Gmail account and FWD all their mail, and BCC all yours, to it.

Well, yesterday was clearly a nightmare. Lowest of lows.

Time to think has made me realize that it's a skill to make people quit...that's why they brought in The Dragon Lady from Humid Recourses. They save money. I won't quit.

I have been working very hard. Anyone who has ever stepped into this office can see that. The Dragon Lady was firing questions about stuff she has no IDEA how it all works. It was awful. I was the deer in the headlights. Completely caught off guard. It was brilliant on their part, really, but it didn't work. And I have to thank you folks here for helping me, letting me vent it out. I was so close...so so close to walking out.

I have documentation. Actually I print stuff out. I have reams of documentation.

As to making me sick, it's funny that I have a sore throat and a slight fever today. I think I caused it, crying, sinuses all clogged up, draining away. And also: I really don't believe I would have needed to go get help had it not been for the pressure here. All my medical history is documented. The pattern is easy to see, the accelerants to my depression and anxiety are quite easy to pinpoint.

I will take a vacation, if I am still here in two weeks after my cap runs out. If not they have to pay it out.

I lost my way yesterday. I gave into almost everything on the 'what's making you feel bad' list. I have to keep telling myself that this is my life. Whatever happens I will survive. That they can kill you but they can't eat you. I am woman hear me roar. Well, not really, I'll leave the roaring to The Dragon Lady.

Thanks again everyone.

I'm glad you are back on course. :)

Shit, Infi, come over here.
Beg, borrow, steal (if you have to) money to get a flight.
I'm a big fuck-up but I can do hosting. At least I think so, I haven't had the opportunity for such a long time now.

Turn up at Heathrow without a penny in your pocket and we'll work it out somehow.

I'll show you my spider veins...

you know i'd love to. when i get my brave and fearless spontaneous self back, maybe i just will.

sick today. fever, chills, sore throat and ear canals. so i call and say i won't be taking tomorrow off like i'd planned, but won't be in today. i have a doc appointment this afternoon and rescheduled my appointment with my psych that was to be tomoorow. next appt is a month and a half away. doesn't matter i think this dram will have come to its inevitable conclusion by then.

work called me back to tell me something i did wrong. then i logged into webmail to an email about how i didn't do this vague assignment they gave me right.

really, they're very good. i may not up and quit but thinking of tendering resignation with 30 day notice so i can at least get my vaycay paid out. tomorrow may change all that though.

and i care. i used to really care about my work and the institution, but it is obvious its a bad fit where i am now.

wishing for a miracle, like horses, but mostly i need to figure out my own way. i hope i can.

For any of you who may be thinking of buying a home, but will need a mortage
... the world has changed.... Be prepared for PAPER TRAILS.

My daughter has been in the process of making an offer on an existing home,
having the home inspection, and securing a loan from a well-known bank.

Although created of the banks, by the banks, and for the banks,
the banking fiasco has made loan-seekers give up their time and money to satisfy almost impossible audit trails.

An earnest money check delivered to the Title Company,
then generates a demand from the mortgage company for
a bank statement of the account from which the funds were drawn,
which then (weeks later) generates a demand for a photocopy of the canceled check (front and back).

Likewise, employment records are demanded from the employer,
a bank statement is then demanded of the account(s) where any of the paychecks were deposited.
Of course, the companies that provide this data charge a fee.

If there are any other (non-paycheck) deposits to that account,
statements are "requested" for the originating account from which such funds were drawn.
If such a deposit was a gift, then signed forms are demanded
from the gift-or and gift-ee with statements of "irrevocability" and "purpose".

It goes on and on, and the same income and bank statements are queried at least 3 times during the loan-approval process.

On top of being an enormous pain, there are lots
of opportunities for mistakes and/or misunderstandings.
Each of which requires further documentation, etc., etc.,

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
... have your accounts in order BEFORE starting the loan approval process.

P.S. The business about "pre-approval" is pretty close to being
Mickey-Mouse paperwork of the real estate industry.
The mortgage company has little interest in whatever may have been pre-approved,
and it certainly does not save any time or effort for the Buyer.

The best alternative: Pay cash !

When I worked for Boeing, they would verify I was employed. Period. No more information would be forthcoming without a court order.

It was the same for me with Carphone Warehouse. I moved to Leicester and tried to sign on with an employment agency, but they required a reference. Fair enough.
Turns out the company would only accept a written request - not email or fax, snal mail only - and even then would only provide the dates I was employed.

The month it took to sort this out ate up most of what I'd saved to live off when I moved.

And it's hardly as if it was part of the Official Secrets Act, pushing mobile phones.

Crazy stuff Lamp et al. Good luck Monkeygirl. My cow-orker burden got much heavier this week so I used some honesty. We'll see how that goes...

Our younger cat, Maurice, hasn't been well for some time. Hard to define, but definite weight loss and gradual decline, certainly.
Today's trip to the vet reveals he has a large tumour on one of his kidneys. Inoperable. Hard to say how much his kidney function has been compromised without blood tests which can't be done til Monday. Depending on the results of those, special food and medication may make him feel better for a while ...
:(

Oh, no. Poor Maurice. Sorry limey. :(

Oh Limey I am SO sorry. Maurice is such a gem of a cat.
What horrible news. Must hurt like hell.

All my love to you and Mr Limey & Jasper.

Poor kitteh. :(

It's so hard when they don't feel well; they can't tell you what hurts.

Hope Maurice gets better soon, limey.

And Griff...good luck dude. They be hatin' my honesty here. HATIN' it. :lol:

And I'm glad I have no desire of following along the American need to own a home. Good for those who do. Since I have no gumption I rather like living in old house apartments where there's nothing permanent and repairs have to be done by the Lord of the Land. I can pick up and move if need be with a much smaller financial impact. This works well for me, too, because I don't see me living 100 years or anything. Part of that is living alone too...I got no honey to honey-do, and I probably wouldn't anyway. Also, no offspring. I'm a nomad in a corporate rat's body. For now. ;)

Damn that sucks limey