NOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo! Not the Macarena!!

Welcome to the Cellar Tigana. Shame you had to arrive on such a *sour note*. :lol:

Imagine listening to the Macarena and Mambo #5 over and over and over again - I once was in the same room as a faulty jukebox that really liked to play those two songs over and over and over again.

AAAARGH! Not The Macarena! I'd forgotten the damn thing and now it will be playing in my head all night. I'll get you for this! :D

I have tried very, very hard to repress that memory. Particularly of AlGore "dancing" to it.

Thankyouveryfuckingmuch.

ooops! :biggrin: Heck of a way to make my first impression, but you have to admit if thats not the worst it's in the top 10 maybe even the top 5 !

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles:
 

Do You Love As Good As You Look
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
Heaven's Just A Sin Away
Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me
Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares
How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You
know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I Don't Know What Came Over Me (When I Came All OverYou)
I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine
I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car
Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)
I Meant Every Word That He Said
I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
I Wanna Whip Your Cow
I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him
I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite
I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home
I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The Afternoon
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
I'm Not Married But The Wife Is
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I've Got Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat
I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time
I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over You
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight?
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love
If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long
If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)
If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone
else Who Will
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me
It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long
Learning To Live Again Without You Is Killing Me
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your DearJohn Was Breaking My Heart
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
Oh, Lord! It's Hard To Be Humble When You're Perfect In Every Way
Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed
Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
Please Bypass This Heart
She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without.
Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love
Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You
Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me"
There Ain't No Waste In My Baby's Love Canal
They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me)
When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?
You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play
You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
You're A Cross I Can't Bear
You're Ruining My Bad Reputation
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

Wow...as detailed as some of these titles are, who needs to hear the song?

jdbutler, are these compiled on a site somewhere? Or are you just amazingly fastidious to present them in alphabetical order for us? Funny stuff there, thanks!

BTW, my mom used to sing the "chewing gum" song to us -- I had know idea it was a REAL song, much less C&W!

I think "Chewing Gum" was pop rather than country, actually.

"I'm Going to Hire a Wino" is one of my favorite songs.

And I hate country.

I know that some may disagree, but I'm not that anally inclined so as to put them all in order. They were sent to me in an email years ago and I saved them to a file. As far as I know they are all real song titles, but they are funny! :thumbsup:

Another song that sends me into a blind rage - McArthur Park. I hate that song! :angry:

I recognize a couple, but many are definately ones that probably got 5 minutes of air time and were never played again. Country is actually an interesting genre. There's the sappy, "Ma' Coonhound done left me" group, but there are also some incredibly clever songs with great lyrics and a terrrific rock beat that make wading through the "coonhound" songs worthwhile. Its also like belonging to a secret club. Most people just hear the word "country" and their mind turns off. To each his own. I couldn't stand a strict diet of Country only, but there are some country songs that make me want to laugh and dance at the same time. Can't beat that. ;)

my sister once arrived at her 8:00am math class in HS to see the words to this song written on the blackboard, by the teacher who was in a frothing rage, screaming at the students: "DON'T EVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!"

Out of curiousity, I transcribed the song to see if I could divine some message that I should be warned against. No idea.

Terri Gross had Jimmy Webb (the perpetrator) on the other day and they chatted about the song. She failed to extract any useful info either.

As far as the math teacher goes I think they didn't had the really cool meds we have now...

FYI:
Written By: Jimmy Webb

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

[break]

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one
And I ask myself "why?"

[break]

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!

However,
NOTHING is as bad as Cher's stirring "gypsies, tramps and thieves" You might as well say beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice.

how about "Flying Purple People Eater"

That's got to be one of the worst