It counts, Jim. Being married doesn't guarantee sex, just more convenient to ask.:)

bumped for ducks nuts

I was drinking water when I read this. You nearly drowned me.

yeah....that was a GOOD one. I plan to use it on jinx tomorrow night. I bet it'll work.

Here's my personal favorite:

1) Lick the tip of your finger.
2)Look them in the eye and wipe their shirt with the finger.
3)Say...."Now lets get you out of those wet clothes."
:)

I was just about to write that one, so I'll make one up.


"You make my dick want to vomit."

Um...Sal.....That doesn't sound like a good thing....I wouldn't go with that one...especially if you only have one second of air-time.
:)

It might work in a S/M dungeon, if you're sniffing out a slave...?
In some twisted way, it's a more "refined" way of saying "you give me a stiffy."
Maybe...

I once used this one during a group session:

"Do you mind if I slip into someone more comfortable?" :D

I use this one:

"Excuse me, do you have the time? Good, I have the place."

lol!@Shawnee!!

If I could re-arrange the alphabet I would put "I" and "U" together.

"They put a man on the moon, how about I put one on you?"

Guaranteed to work:



"When you're ready to shag, I'll be over there"

Or this one:

I'm leaving, do you want to come with me?

Here's my two faves:

"Sit on my face and i'll suck your guts out" (has worked once but generally always gets a laugh)

and

*holds up two fingers* "you know why women use these two fingers to reach orgasm?"

woman: "no, why"

Me: "because they're mine".

Has worked as well - but once again, great for the laugh factor :D