Cuntegonda was a character in Candide, IIRC.

Mutiny on the Cunty.

Coward of the Cunty

Dudley Do-Right of the Cunties

ACM - Academy of Cunty Music

No Cunty For Old Men

Cuntytime lemonade

Scarborough Fair/Cunticle

She's a little bit cunty, he's a little bit cock and roll.

Yes, I've been unemployed since I moved up here. I was doing contract work prior to making the final move up here (wife and kids were already here in the house I was paying for, so the kids could get acclimated to Portland before the start of their first school year here). I've just now found a new full time job, making a lot of money like I always had before. I start my new job next week--this is literally the first time in six months I haven't been trapped in a shitty situation with no options.

Ah, next week. I was under the impression you had already started the new job.

So do you have plans for what you intend to do next? Have you glanced at the real estate section of the paper to see the apartments? Or however you find apartments these days?

Light at the end of the tunnel, Flint.

God, what a total headfuck this whole thing sounds. I'm glad you're heading hopefully into calmer waters now m'dear.

I'd be looking for an attorney

If children are so resilient like everyone says, then why do I remember feeling so much turmoil, confusion and divided loyalties for years after my own parents were divorced? And trust issues which not only continue to this day, but are completely validated--people ARE selfish assholes who will do shitty things. So if children are so resilient, what does that mean--they'll learn sooner that the trials of life leave you with defining scars?

My son is like me--he just wants people to get along. He wants everyone to be okay, in a situation where that isn't possible. I know how he feels because I see it, and I remember feeling that way. My daughter is more emotionally mature, but if she is imprinting her stability on this situation, my concern is that she will have no idea what a relationship is--are people just pawns to be manipulated to suit your own purposes? Why not, if happiness is so easy to achieve by crawling over the backs of people you've betrayed?

Once I get free from this situation, the kids will see me being happy and stable and awesome. And they'll see their mother and I trying to cooperate and respect each other. The disingenuous aspect of this is that I will be compelled to treat someone with respect, out of necessity, whose actions haven't been honorable. I didn't make the decisions that created this situation, but I'll be the one carrying the burden. Picking up the pieces and making the best of a shitty situation--but what lessons will the children take away from this? And how, exactly, does that magical resilience I've heard so much about protect them from being fucked up by this?

It doesn't, kids are all mind fucked by their parents to some degree. Most kids are able to live their own lives eventually though. The danger is in what they come to believe is normal. You'll need to be pretty direct with them as they get older that this situation should not be repeated. I work with kids who are the product of multi-generational poverty and am shocked by what their parents think is normal.

They will feel sadness and confusion. They will be changed by this change. And they will survive. Resilient, not impervious.

You'll do what you must to mitigate the negative effects. They will get a glimpse of the bad side of relationships. They'll know you're suffering, and they'll see you come through it.
They will be ok. Because you'll both still love them. It really just is what it is for them. It's not like they've been raised in a family that stayed together before, and can compare this reality to that. It's not the optimal situation, but they're safe and loved.

Wait.....what if they look at the friend as the father figure and Flint is trying to take them away from them??