The Cellar - Women please vote

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Don't Dana. It's honestly not worth it.

*Chuckles* I know...I know...I was spoiling for a fight I think. Not usually my style.

Buddog, out of interest, do you think a serious subject is best discussed with short snappy posts, or longer more in-depth treatment?

Simple remedy against date rape; kick him in the bullugs...

mmmm........ just checked out the poll-results...... though interesting, I found the tag-line underneath the results quite..... apposite...

"Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.
--Wernher von Braun"

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

When it comes right down to it.....we have a tendency to make the most awful aspects of our world a source of humour. Does that negate the awfulness of the subject? In some cases yes....in other cases no.

I don't think a person who makes a joke about rape plays their hand as someone who doesn't see the seriousness of the crime. That said, someone who does not see the serious nature of rape will most likely find it an easier source of humour than someone who does.

As for the proposal on changes to the law; I think its about time. We are convicting fewer not more rapists in the UK. The treatment of female victims by the courts has not changed significantly in thirty years, resulting in far more women pulling out of the case than following it through. If a woman has been so drunk that she cannot remember consenting(or has had her drink spiked with something to mimic that effect),there is an assumption of consent. The difficulty comes in when women make false claims against a man. This does happen; however, given the hoops that have to be jumped through; given that rape is one of the most difficult crimes to successfully prosecute and given the character assassination any female victim is subjected to, it is likely that such false-claims represent a very small percentage of rape charges brought against (mainly) men.

Currently, we have a justice system which is more concerned with protecting small numbers of men from false charge, than it is with prosecuting greater numbers of actual rape.

Take it from someone who studied this in college...
All humor is based in pain, in suffering. It is its nature. That is why you do it. It is its function, to help us deal with pain and discomfort.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

I just wanted to thank the people who voted on this thread. I realize it takes courage to do what you did and it means just as much that you could say what you did even though it was anonymously.

I hope that even though some people will never understand what you've been though, they may at least have had pause to consider your anguish and in future, maybe things will be different for you and for me.

That is very kind of you. The rape of males is something that is still not discussed very often. It should be, but it is very difficult with the way we are looked upon.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buddug
Stop being so selfish . Sick people are far too selfish in general.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pie

What does it take to make her go away again?

Am I selfish because I'm American or sick... I can't figure it out.:rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

Yeah, well, shoot me I guess for not wording it correctly...many apologies

I did not mean it that way at all... I am very sorry you took it that way.
No inflection in text.

Eh RK - if I read your post today, I wouldnt of taken offense at all. I must of been pissie about something that day. :blush:

Good thing we only joke about less serious things like murder, torture, war, starvation, disease, etc.... :right:

The purpose of this thread was to illustrate the actual number of women - or men - whose lives are touched by rape. The reason behind wanting to illustrate this fact is that when people crack jokes about rape, they might be playing to a very limited audience, not to mention bringing back terrible memories which are sometimes best left in the past.

So, for those of you that feel the need, go ahead and joke about it all you like. It seems that perhaps this was a pointless excercise anyway. I'll just accept that I was wrong and instead of trying to create understanding next time, I'll just decide the person cracking the joke is an insensitive fuckwit and react accordingly.

Aliantha. I think you are being unfair. You started a post which led to a debate about the issues at hand. It's a sensitive subject, so naturally there is a risk of people getting a little more heated than a post about, say "Tofu".

I am guilty of getting a little heated myself on this one. But I am still glad you raised it. The fact that humans generally have the capacity to find humour in the most disturbing areas, is an interesting thing in itself. Maybe it speaks of our own relationship with the horror and pain which is an ever present feature of existance.

My point really is that we'd all do better to consider how our actions or words affect those around us.

As I said, I was wrong. It's not fair to expect people on an internet forum to care that much about their fellow posters.

btw...I was responding only to Bruces' last post. I don't think any of the horrors he mentioned are more or less terrible than rape, and the fact that he chose to suggest that perhaps they might be demonstrates that I have failed with this thread because quite clearly, there is no understanding.

Maybe there can't be for someone who's never been there, so maybe it's not his or anyone else's fault. Maybe that's just the way it is and maybe me and anyone else who does understand just needs to learn to suck it in, shut up, and move on.

I don't think it's an indication of caring, or lack thereof, when someone makes those jokes. I think Bruce's comment was suggesting that they are on the same level of seriousness. Point being we make jokes about the the aspects of life which are most disturbing.

I'm aware of that Dana. I'm also aware of the psychology behind why people do it, however, all those other aspects affect almost every one of us and so we have a base understanding and therefor can relate to the joke - maybe see the funny side of it. On the other hand, I think rape is something different and it will never be funny in any way to me.

Surely other people can see why that would be? Surely other victims understand why it's different to the other things mentioned as comparable?

Well, as a victim myself, I can honestly say that jokes like that don't bother me over much. It all depends on who is making the joke and the context of it. Intention is a major factor for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

No! No it isn't different. You only think it's different because it happened to you.
If I go out with a friend and the end of the night he beats me senseless, that's not as serious, not as traumatic, not as damaging, as you being raped?
What about people who were kidnapped?
How about POWs?
What about people who suffer discrimination/racism, every damn day of their life?

A lot of people suffer heinous crimes that are hard for others to contemplate how they survived no less came to terms with it.
Most likely, any joke or even mention, of anything serious will trigger bad memories for someone.
That's why their can't be any subject that's taboo for humor.....or there would be no humor.

I'm sorry you've had a traumatic experience, but I'm ever more sorry you haven't been able to deal with it. I'm convinced you haven't by your suggestion that anyone joking about rape is an insensitive ass. :(