I was all set to walk the mile to the metro in the 9 degree, -200 windshield factor, when my wife offered to drive me.

Hell, yeah!

So I went out and started the car to let it get a little warm inside, and it struggled getting started. But it did! All sorts of creaks and squeaks from the suspension going over the speed humps and such.

It's winter alright.

-19 this morning. The thermostat was set to "stun" and the house never got above 66.

And what I noticed is this: when I went out in that frosty and started the car, I was all worried about it, like, how's it going to react to all this cold? I was worried for the first five minutes.

But I realized something: the exact moment I stopped worrying for it was when there was enough heat to heat ME up. Oh it's nice and toasty in here, car's doing fine!

No, car's still out there in that 5 degree weather. It's YOU who's doing fine...

Well, my pipes are frozen. I have no water and it's freezing in here. I feel like crying.

Those pipes froze last winter too, didn't they?

How many years have you been there? Is it just these two winters?

Yeah, probably. It's my fault. I don't have my gas turned on because my gas company said I had to have work done on my furnace but that work can't be done by a furnace guy it has to be a plumber and like what the fuck the furnace was fine before and you had no problem with it you're just being dicks and I was like fuck it because gas only runs the furnace and the gas range and I have a wall oven that I use and I'm an idiot and I went through this last year and I'm an idiot. I've got heaters all over the place and pointed under sinks but it ain't enough. Oh, and I'm an idiot. Plus, I'm an idiot.

And also, I suck.

(Yeah, I know.)

Yeah, no. I wasn't saying you are an idiot. I was wondering what was going on with that apartment.

Shouldn't the landlord be fixing the furnace? Why is that your job? Or am I misremembering? Do you own the place?

I wasn't saying you were saying I'm an idiot. I'M saying I'm an idiot. ;)

Yeah, I own the place. I rent the space it's on. You can infer from there. It's in a 55 and older get-up (I'm one of the 20 percent who is allowed to be younger than that) and it's nice for me. No jokes please. It's usually a nice set-up for a single woman. Enough space for me. Quiet. Safe. I'm just a terrible procrastinator who can't ask for help. :(

I know you like it there, by the river with good neighbors.

I guess you know what you need to do, and you'll do it when you do it. Meantime, don't beat yourself up, and try to stay warm.

Yeah, I don't know what my major malfunction is with dealing with things. I was worried about the mess in the spare room (can't let a repair guy see that or the world will end) and I've fixed all that and still...ugh.

Thanks for being nice. I'm going to go to lunch and spend the day at the library and prepare for my job interview next week. (Yes, job interview. Must focus on positives must focus on positives.)

Well, that's not gonna happen. My car, which always always always starts, won't start. It went 'oom ooom ooom ooom' so I tried again and it went 'ooom, clicky clicky click.'

So now that's probably broken too.

fml

Nah, the car battery is just cold. It will work again when things thaw out a little.

Thanks. I walked down to the restaurant down the road (so bundled up I felt like Frances mcdormand in Fargo) and am having coffee and tomato soup. I have bottled water and plenty of coffee and hot chocolate at home for my keurig. Just hope this cold snap doesn't last very long.

If you get some heat tape at the hardware store wrap it around the pipes and plug it in. If there is any heat tape left at the hardware store.

If you can get a jump, your car will start. Older batteries lose their cold cranking amps and as such become old, cranky, amps instead. When you have some extra dough buy a battery with lots of CCA.

Oh, and don't you dare call my friend an idiot; she's a fuck of a lot smarter than you.