eh, thanks. It isn't so much that I worry about what they are saying. I live in a city of millions and I'm licensed in other states as well. there are always more clients to uncover. It's really the stress of sitting with people, looking them in the eye, and telling them horrible truth. They can blame me or not blame me, but it doesn't change the fact that these people have watched their retirement dreams get flushed. it may be by their own decisions but the fact still remains they work for 30+ years with a reasonable expectation of a comfortable retirement. I now have to sit with them and explain that Yes, I know they are ready to make some changes now, but I've run the numbers dozens of different ways and the answer keeps coming back the same - they will outlive their money. It sounds cliche and ridiculous but people don't hire me to watch money - they hire me to ensure they reach life goals. I've been spending waaaaaay too much of my time over the last few months explaining to people that its time to come up with different goals because the old ones? not gonna happen.

:comfort:
Think of all the people you did help, LO. The majority of clients that took some or all of your sound advice, and are consequently much better off than they would have been.
You can't save people from themselves. :headshake

ETA: the future's not guaranteed. You work hard, you do (mostly) the right thing, and guess what? Sometimes, life still sucks. Like getting diagnosed with cancer 6 months after your retirement...

We've never gotten upset with our financial adviser (not sure if that's what you do but it sounds like it could be). Then again, we've done everything he's suggested, only adjusting a few times for the risk we were willing to accept under our current situation when he made the suggestions. I know he has more knowledge, both current and historical, than us. I don't know that he has the same conscience and sense of personal responsibility as you. Tell me again, in what states are you licensed? :)

My aunt and uncle retired about 12 months ago. They're now worth 30% less than they thought they'd have to retire on. Fortunately they reckon they're going to outlive this crisis and end up being ok anyway.

The good thing for them is they not only have shares as investments but they have realestate which they draw an income from.

I guess it's always good to have a couple of different investments so you're not totally reliant on one income stream.

People are just angry and afraid and upset as you know lookout. It's really not personal when everyone's in the same boat. These people have relied on your advice that's for sure, but they could have made different choices also. You're not responsible for the choices they've made in the end. You've only offered them choices.

I haz a headache and thrush.

Being a chick soooooooo rocks

Get thee to the chemist! (and stay there till you're better lol)

Busted water heater discovered as I entered the shower.... and they can't fix it till next week per Home Warrenty contractor... Bullshit I say... you want me to keep the home warrenty it will be fixed today...

Get 'em honey! Rip their balls off! help me get her all riled up, she's great at this stuff

I called AHS back and said "You honestly expect me, my husband (who has to go to work every day... clean and well groomed), my two children for whom meal time is more of a contact sport than it is eating and a bath is absolutely required... you expect us to shower in freezing ass cold water duing the winter for 4 days? No... this is our ONLY hot water heater in our Only shower/ bath and there is a HUGE amount of water on my floor... the lenolium is pealing up and rolling over on itself, the wood is puffing and I just had 20K worth of foundation repair work done. No I cannot wait till tomorrow much less next week. I need it fixed today or I will call around and find a company who can fix it... and believe me if I have to pay for this out of my own pocket... I WILL CANCEL MY WARRENTY WITH YOU... you will NOT talk me out of it this time." The poor bastard on the other end of the phone said he'd bump it up to an emergency and they call me within 2 hours... so at this point they have 1 hour left to produce a solution before I cut them off and pay for a new water heater with my fucking credit card... I would have been able to buy one outright had I not been paying my monthly warrenty bill... the ONLY 3 reasons I've kept them... 1. the AC is 22 years old and bound to die soon, the Hotwater is 12, the huge double oven around which the kitchen was designed is 55 years old. They are supposed to replace if unrepairable. I 've just been afraid they die at a time when we couldn't manage to fix them on our dime.

I haven't really slept in 3 days thanks to the little boy.... and dammnit all I wanted this morning was a hot shower to stand in for about an hour while I try to remind myself that he his just teething not trying to drive me insane.

Frozen washcloths saved us. Run water over half a washcloth. Wring it out and put it in the freezer. We kept three or four of these things going. Let 'em chew on the frozen end. The cold and the texture do the trick.

I've never heard a positive story regarding home warranties. I think they are a scam.

I hope you prove me wrong.

All warranties are a scam. Rule #1 never bet against the house because the house always wins.

All that money you pay monthly could be going towards new appliances. When the 55 year old stove craps out and they have to replace it will it be replaced with a $100. Roper or a $5500 Vulcan?

AHS did replace the hot water heater and AC unit on my first house. Slow and inefficient but saved me a bunch of money.

We recently put up an expensive fence to keep the neighbor's big bozo dogs from bounding into our yard and terrorizing our softy dog (she likes other dogs, but dogs with manners - a heritage from her show career) and so she and our new dog could play outdoors. We did not fence the lake side of the yard, thinking that a 50" high fence around 3 sides would cause them to roam elsewhere. There were just in my yard, minutes after the pups and I came in. Grrrr! The dogs are just big, clumsy, energetic oafs who like to splash in the lake (one is a lab) but hey! The potential death/injury to my own dogs in their own fenced yard is real. Maybe I'll ask Santa Claus for a pet lion. Or shark. Yeah, that's the ticket.

SW... I can understand your fear. That is exactly... well minus the water... reason we didn't buy a house 2 streets over ( which actually, save that issue would have been a better choice for us) the neighbor next door had Akitas and they were known to break loose and kill other enighbor dogs... with a baby on the way that senerio didn't sit well with us. The neighborhood was taking the dog owner to court, but had tried before with no positive results. It is difficult to control others... even harder ... their dogs.

BTW... just talked to AHS... the new contractor is "working me in and will be here as soon as they can" I reminded him that I have yet to bath and my kids and I are still in our nighties. The sooner the better please... I have other things that I need to do today outside the house...

Why is it that contractors/ businesses feel it is acceptable to make us wait around on them all day??? Take the cable or phone companies for example... 8am to 8 pm is not a timeframe. Thats the whole day.

Have you seen the theory that it was Nicole Brown Simpson's Akita that killed her and Ron Goldman? Weirds. Not that the dog couldn't kill a person, but that it would wear gloves to do so. :)

glove wearing dogs upset you?

Dogs shouldnt be allowed to wear gloves. It cheapens all the legitimate and faithful glove wearers, all over world. Who do glove-wearing dogs hurt? Everyone.

:lol:

Sorry, Akitas turning vicious? What's next, killer poodles?

Did you stress just how sheer your nightie was? and lacy? And low cut?

3-year warranties on steam vacs are the business. One payment of $40, the $300 vac always fail at about 2.5 years, they give you a new one and sell you another $40 warranty for another 3 years. So we've paid $$420 for an excellent steam cleaner that's lasted 7 years and is still as good as new and has another two years in it with no extra cost....

I feel sure that one day they will cotton on that steam vacs are not as simple as vaccuuum cleaners and break down far more often... but until then :D

"Look, all my clothes are dirty so I'm running around naked. I'd get my husband to do it, but he's away in Tierra del Fuego for another month on business. I really need to be taken care of right away..."

Or something like that.

Sorry Look, I just saw this. Exercise, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation. This site has a couple tools which are good for tracking and coping with stress. Good luck man. Breathe.

Maybe we need a new thread for this, but in light of Elspode's situation and lookout's and the rest of us, should we be comparing notes about "What the hell is your game plan for when the really big shit hits the fan?" This is only the fumes of the shit that is coming.

In another thread Ali mentions people growing their own veggies. How many pounds of potatoes to pay your property taxes and mortgage?

All around me people are being laid off, I wonder what they are all going to do since around here people live pretty lean to start with.

Someone sent me this http://www.thepowerhour.com/news/ite...ppearfirst.htm
How soon will we be in this situation or will we?

Excellent, excellent advice Pie.

From what I know of you around the Cellar, you are a genuine guy who honestly just wants the best for people.

You did your best to inform them, don't second guess yourself. "I could have, I should have..." will only get you more sick. It sucks royally to be the bearer of bad news, but at some point you have to remind yourself that they are ultimately responsible for their own actions. You aren't a bad person for letting it go. In fact, it's imperative you do let it go. Easier said than done I know.

I hope that there is little collateral damage if they do badmouth you. Hopefully anyone they whine to will either a) already know they are an idiot and be impressed that you gave them good advice (that they didn't take) and will look you up. or b) just be another idiot who also wouldn't listen to your advice, who now you don't have to worry about dealing with.

No calls from my headhunters this week. Unemployment skyrocketing. Maybe I am well and truly fucked after all?

As a former IT headhunter I'd advise you to be very very proactive even if you feel like you might be irritating them. Be in regular contact with the headhunters. Right now they have a lot of resumes sitting on their desk with nothing but the name and most recent job description showing.

In all honesty they are probably spending most of their time right now calling companies begging for orders to fill. The last time this happened a lot of companies started doing their own recruiting and hiring again to avoid the fees. Headhunter fees are only worthwhile if there is more demand than supply.

[by proxy] I am Otto, and I am bored!

Nobody hires in December. You'll find something in first quarter.

80 people from Dazza's office were made redundant on Thursday of this week. D should be fine, but we were talking about our game plan on the way home yesterday.

Did you start the new thread F3?

I'm sending myself to therapy. :( Ah well....can't be healthy forever.

Sometimes therapy is a good thing. I had some earlier this year and it helped a lot.

I hope you're as lucky.

I lost my original wedding ring several years ago, and hubby bought me one of those One Ring facsimiles from LotR - a big, heavy solid gold ring. Last night I noticed it wasn't on my hand, and I have no idea where it could be, although I shredded 4 bags of paperwork and threw it out, and did a lot of cleaning indoors and out, and it could be anywhere... I've lost my Precious. Now I know how Gollum felt. Damn damn damn.

Nightmares. Dammit all the way to the hot place and back. My therapist keeps telling me... has been telling me for half a dozen years... that they'll slowly fade, happen less and less frequently. Yeah, that's so not happening. I can't keep waking up in a screaming, fighting mess. It's not fair to Ted, it's not fair to my now terrified daughter, and dammit I'm just sick of reliving those two years of my life. This SUCKS!

And I am about 95% convinced that our new dog is about 95% deaf. It is not a deal breaker, but it means I will have to train him using gestures, lights, and whistles rather than simple verbal instructions while teaching the other dog using the same methods. And I will be adding the "go get him" command so she can help me get him back when he wanders off across the yard. :kettle:

I am sorry about your nightmares. Does your temperature have any effect on whether or not you have them? I know when I am feverish or just plain hot, I get them pretty much without fail.

I have nightmares irregularly, but I still have them. Like migraines I get irritated when people call bad dreams nightmares - like calling headaches migraines (I am not directing this at you Trea - my nightmare criteria certainly includes waking up screaming!).

Sorry to hear you are afflicted - mine are separated by YEARS but still distress me.

No work here in Aylesbury. Or so it seems. Bear in mind I was looking for a healing period of bar/ restaurant/ supermarket work while I was looking for another job! I'll have to start pushing the agencies I signed up with (although to be fair they said it was unlikely they'd have anything for me before Christmas) and after that just be prepared to work my socks off at anything - pizza delivery, cleaning, ironing etc.

Oh and I'm worried about Diz - he doesn't look any thinner to me, but his collar is a lot looser. The spectre of diabetes raises its head again, only without the funds for a thorough investigation. I'm sure it's paranoia. But he's the only living being I think would suffer if I was gone and I worry about him.

Pil's been on anti-biotics and anti-inflammatories for a week (vet bill last week was about £50 iirc), because he had made a mess biting his leg and making it raw and infected.

I'm wondering if it's connected with bad joints or something. He's very clicky and the breed's prone to arthritis.

Anyway, night before last I watched from upstairs whilst he went down the stairs in the half light. He went down them almost crablike, really carefully, and seemed to be having difficulty bending his rear right leg. Today I was stroking him and messing about and noticed a swelling on his right leg, like a spongy mass around the side of his ankle joint. Different leg to the one with the infection.

J gave me some cash the other day (£100) 'cause he'd got paid and I'd helped out a bit when he was broke last month and I went and put it into the bank thereby avoiding going over my overdraft limit. I was £12 away from going over.

I could really do without a bunch of vet bills right now. I was just starting to think I might actually manage to buy a few presents lol. Anyway, much as the vet bills are worrying me, mainly I'm fretting over Pil. It's an unwanted reminder that at 10 years old, he's on the wrong the side of the hill.

He's been struggling with the stairs for a while now, and getting up and lying down is sometimes a little more effort than it once was. It's gonna floor me when I lose him, I know it. He's the first dog I've raised. He's my little wolf.

Aw hon, I'm so sorry. Give Pilau some huggles from me. :(

Oh ba. I'm so sorry.
I have ral concerns bout Diz's health right now. Added to issues about how he's coping with the move.

Imagine this - you move into a place with your GF. She's always taken care of you before. But this new place - you're not sure about. People seem to wander in and out. You wake up the first morning, some bitch has sprayed graffiti all over the place! Every day it's the same! You never see her, but it's everywhere!

Well. That's kinda how Diz feels.

And I feel like I might have to give him away. And tonight, being alone (my parents are aways) it's making me cry. But I know this is about my survival, not his. Dani will know. Dani met him.

Oh chaps I am so unhappy.
Feel a bit grim.

Deserve to.
Have had a bottle of vodka today if you count 24 hours.
In fact if you count 24 hours it's been about 30 units (max advised for a man a week is 21)

Parents away, not sure what to do
I know they are worried about me
I know they have spirits hidden in their room (I thought Dads was sneaking one, but he was so inept I realised it was for Mum). And Mum went in "my" room to put something away last night and there were 2 beer bottles and 1/2 a bottle of vodka - she's nor blind.

I know they're looking out for me, but I don't know what to do. I have 3/4 glass vodka & diet coke and have thrown up twice. Good! Can drink more! Still burping up haddock from 17.00.

Woke up at about 04.00. Had Toffee Caramel vodka drink. Dozed off til Diz woke me up. And again. And again. And again. Started to drink Strawberry & Cream vodka drink at about 06.00. Finished off very good book (translated from Japanese; very bleak). Then started on half bottle of vodka (before shower). Has gone on from there.

See? Hardly worth saving, right? If you saw me on Jerry Springer you'd be booibng me, right?

Going to bed with the remains of the new bottle I bought today. At least the mixer was De-Caff :) This will really humiliate me tomorrow. Good. I have a glass to drink and I know I will despite my raw throat. And I have to get up about 08.30 (GMT) to get rid of the evidence. But I am being honest. I'd almost rather puke.

It's a pukey post anyway.

Shit. Am seriously weighuing up - go to bed (rub dirt in ot and suck it up) or go to A&E and tell them how scared I am.

Suck it up I reckon. I mean if it's even an option (with apostrophes!) it's not that bad, right? Having to revise it is just Friday night drunkenness. OMG - what if they just put me in with the drunks?

Shit - I hear Diz shouting at Mia (cats) between the doors. Still thinking.

(A&E = UK Accident & Emergency)

SG, just sleep it off. Discuss it in the morning. We'll be here.

You know I was all up for going - I had my clothes on & everything. I felt I needed an answer,

Then I read your post and now I am not sure.
I really was seconds away from calling a taxi...

I called an alcohol helpline - she seemed baffled as to why I called,
Maybe you're right. Maybe it's a problem for another day
Wake up and hide the evidence again

No advice, just want you to know I am sending you thoughts and love from across the pond. We all fuck up now and then. If I was there, I'd hold your hair back for ya, make you drink a big glass of water, then tuck you in. :)

I second what UT says. Go to bed and make decisions with a clear head. you can't make good decisions when you've been drinking, no matter how seasoned you are.

Am interested to find I threw up twice. Will have to go check the toilets just in case.

I went to A&E.
After waiting for 2 hours to be seen, the doctor advised me he was going to call the Crisis Team. Yeah, they really helped last time I was suicidal - called me on my landline 24 hours after my GP advised them I was alone and afraid and felt unable to go home.

Meh - you get what you pay for.
In the end I walked out. Shoulda listened to UT and just slept it off (as I intend to now, £10 poorer in taxi fares).

I shoulda asked them to breathalyse me. I reckon it would have been a record. But because I presented myself (yes I heard the whole conversation) they didn't think I was in any danger. Not that I'm boasting - if I could drink less I'd be a much happier person.

Right.
Sort life out.
Tomorrow.
Sorry - today.
13 December is turning point for me. No more unhappy.

Thanks for being there people. I appreciate it.

SG, you know your parents know. Can you try to let them in to help? They want to so badly but they respect your pride too much to just wade in. You could do with some good friends on hand right now, and there are times when your parents can be good friends and I suspect this may be one of those times for you.

Ah, I have this issue with my Mum.
All through my childhood and especially those painful teenage years she would throw any confidences back at me when I was at my lowest.

"Look at the state of your room! No wonder Julie didn't want to be your partner in Drama!"

[Situation created for example - everyone wanted to be my partner in Drama because I wasn't cool but I was a good actress. For a 14 year old.]

If I let her in now, I risk being hurt really, really badly. I'd prefer tp dance around the elephant for a while. Who knows, maybe I can just wish it away. I have a feeling my parents would prefer that too.

What about just your dad?

....can you explain to him why you're afraid of letting your mum in?

You know as well as I do you're not drinking to feel good, you're drinking to feel bad... punishment. Knock it the fuck off. :eyebrow:

I'm not going to preach, just make an observation. It is all the rage now to re-learn how to drink. This assumes that alcohol isn't completely toxic to us. I still have a little voice in my head that says I could learn to drink reasonably. In my case, that voice is a cruel deceiver.

Good for you Griff that "little deceiver" is to me, also known as the voice of addiction. Do not listen.

This is the sentence that gives me the chills, SG. What sort of "again" is that? Again like last night? Again like the last time the parents were away? Again like last Friday? Again like the last time life spiralled down into depression?
How can we help you to stop doing it again? How can you help yourself to stop? Because you know you can stop, and you are worth helping.

Back in the land of the living.
Sigh.

Going to really work at it this time.
If I'm not constantly ashamed of my behaviour maybe I can let my family in more genuinely. I do love them, we are close, but the dancing around doesn't help.

Well - it would if it were literal - exercise!
And that's what I'm going to do tomorrow - get out and have a good long walk. I'll come back soggy, mind - we're having torrential downpours here at the moment.

Sundae--if it helps any, I was on a three day binger from tuesday until friday. i called the AA helpline,, my mom and dad (I spent last night at their house so if I had a seizure they would be there to take me to ER) and yeah, today sucks, but I'm not drinking today. Oh, and I had about a pint of vodka every hour or two. from tues to friday. Yeah, the withdrawal was insane. I love you. I am here for you,, such as my self is of any help. you are NOT alone.

Please keep it together ladies. This is the worst time of year, but you can see it through. We all care about you very much. g

Sometimes a walk in a filthy downpour is great as long as you've a warm house and dry clothes to come home to.
As Griff said, it is a tough time of year for all sorts of reasons and being out of work in winter really Really REALLY REALLY sucks. Try to get yourself a routine going SG - exercise, go to library for a scour of the job pages, or just a good read, is there anywhere you can volunteer (I know you've considered this) ... Hang in there SG - we're all here for you.
And Bri - good on you for calling on the resources you've got - that's a hard decision to make.
:grouphug: to you both.
did I say the jobless thing really sux?