I couldn't understand why I wasn't at my parents' wedding. I kept asking to see the photos with me in. When I finally grasped that concept... I couldn't understand why my (older) sister wasn't there.

I use to think that kids grew up and adults "grew down." I would tell my mom that I would be the boss once I grew up and she grew down.

I'm still entirely confident in this theory.

I am starting to wonder if I wasn't right all along, also. In fact, sometimes I wonder if I don't learn more from my son than he learns from me....?

Irish Baby Food
 

I had this (taken at a pub in Ballyvaughan, Co. Clare) as my "desktop" background at work. I work in a hospital. I called social work into the emergency department early one morning regarding a pediatric abuse case. She was not amused :mad2: !!!

USCivilianSon#1 was ten months old at the time. Every night on this two week vacation he sipped the foam from my Guinness :yeldead: . I cannot wait to take his little brother to Ireland someday soon and keep up the tradition.

Hah. Cute.

I had a dog, years ago, that was partial to a drop of guiness from time to time.

Plausible Deniability
 

My immediate reaction (what I imagined I would say) upon reading the above: "Hang up the phone. Destroy the tape. Deny all knowledge of the event. Do not tell your mother we spoke."

Went to a banquet last night and my little cousin was there. She had on a real cute dress with black tights. Later into the evening she has to go potty. She's 3yrs old. So I take her and after she's finished, she says that she has to pull up her "Pantypose". I thought it was cute.

School spelling words = sentence writing for homework.

I can't remember the spelling word, but one sentence said something about liking to get wet and playing with the "hoes".

:D

One summer we were walking out in the pasture, in the blazing hot Texas sun, and my nephew says "I'm losing life units!"

...the kid plays alot of video games.

Both stepkids play a lot of Pokemon.

The other day, I overheard the older one explaining to the younger one why we wash our hands: "Because germs are weak against water attacks."

I was innocently driving along yesterday when my car started stalling at every traffic light, and then smoke was coming out from under the hood. I pulled into a parking lot and called AAA, then called Mrs. Dallas, who was at a rehearsal (that I was supposed to be at too!) We agreed to talk again at the rehearsal break to see what was going on. When we did, she said Young Master Dallas wanted to speak with me.

"Dad? Was there really smoke coming out of the car?"

"Yep."

"Actual SMOKE??"

"Yes."

"From the front of the car????"

"I'm afraid so."

"COOOOLLL!!!!"

time to sit the boy down and have the Talk !!!!














( about engines that is )

"Now, son, sometimes, a piston and a cylinder will really love each other.. but there just won't be any oil left . . . "

Last night, a ghoul in the haunted house jumped out and scared the crap out of my nephew (7)... so he gave him the finger.

Been hanging around Uncle LJ too much that one

Yeah Steve That Talk !!

I was doing the 'changing nappies and 'naming the body parts'' thing with my son several months ago.

Point at his arm.
"What's this?"
"Arm!"
Point at his leg.
"What's this?"
"Leggy!"
Point at his willy.
"What's this?"
"Superpower" (I swear, I'm not making this up!)

Ever since then he refers to his penis as his 'superpower'. It makes sense. He's mad-keen on Superman, Spiderman, Batman and Wonder Woman.

More recently he threw a ball at a wall, it rebounded, bounced and hit him in the groin.
"Ow, hurt my superpower!"


I call my penis 'Hollywood'*. I'm kinda proud he got in on the game early and named his... and in such a cute and endearing way.



*I called it 'Hollywood' because of '1942' the movie, when the Japanese Sub surfaces and the nude female swimmer is clinging to the periscope. Just as it's diving one of the sailors looks up "Horrrywoood!"
It just appealed on a stupid, pureile level, I'm proud to say.

Would this be the same car that you changed the battery in?

It might be. Are you suggesting I put the battery in backwards? (It's not impossible.)

Nah, but maybe adding a little post-it to your minitor to remind yourself to get a bit more regular car maintenance checks might not be a bad idea...:D

We were watching a special on the human body.
He started saying that he had "rings" inside him as well as "gwutz".
I told him that he was not part tree and was, indeed, just guts and stuff and not rings.
He yells at me that he "does too have wings" and gets The Lip.
So I drop it.
He is in an stage where he likes to make things up and not be disagreed with about it, but we never really know when he is playing or it is serious.
I hope this does not last.

Ohhh, I remember that stage Rk. Its amusing and frustrating all at the same time.


Apparently, to my red headed near 3 year old, the world is about to end when *I* foolishly open the box of sultana's that *he* wanted to open "meself".

It resulted in enough tears to break the drought, a screamed "youre not my best friend no more!!" (when I was caught smirking at the tanty) and finally some deep sobs that were drawn out to achieve maximum effect.

no monitor postit. send yourself an appt in outlook

I'd have a colonoscopy and a root canal in the same week before I start using Outlook.

Wait . . . .

The car is toast. Timing belt, water pump, muffler & related issues... not worth it for 12 years old, 115,000 miles. We got our money's worth out of it.

The smoke didn't kill it? What kinda car?

how long do you expect this stage will last?

Oh frigg, its Thursday huh

You are so predictable it is boring.
But to answer your question, as if you were actually asking one, about a year or two, it depends on the child. He is asserting his independence because he just started a more regimented school and schedule and this behavior helps him assert personal control. It is normal and healthy and should not be fought unless it gets in the way of day-to-day functions.

i knew you were going to call me predictable. REAL mature, rob.....REAL Mature.

1995 Ford Escort Wagon (aka Sycamoremobile)

R I P

What are the "related issues" and how much you want fer it?

First let me say that Ifound this thread just tonight and have read every single post. Hugely amusing! I love it.

When my ex's youngest was appx 2 years old, I took her into work with me one day to pick up my check. I sat her in the dispatcher's window and introduced her with a huge so-proud-I-could-puke grin. The dispatcher reached out her hand and sweetly said "So nice to meet you, BethAnn." To which my beautiful step-daughter replied with a raised middle finger.

I could have killed the ex. In hindsight, I shoulda.

Another night, we were having dinner with his parents at a nice restaurant in our "Sunday Best" to celebrate someone's birthday. It was a Friday night and the place was PACKED - we had waited over an hour because he forgot to make a reservation. When the waitress got to her and said "What can I get for you, Sweetie?" BethAnn said, in what seemed to be her loudest possible voice, "I HAVE TO POOP!!!!"

Heh. When my daughter had just finished kindergarten, we were signing her up for a summer day camp. There was a small mountain of paperwork to complete, and one of items was a list of camp rules that we were supposed to go over with the kid. So I dutifully sat her down and explained "Listen to the counselors", "Don't steal stuff from other kids", etc. Then: "Swearing will not be tolerated." "Dad? What does swearing mean?" "Ummm well, swearing is when you say bad words you're not supposed to say." "Oh. <pause> Well, I guess that includes swear word fingers too." And she pointed her middle finger straight at me. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or to explain that tradition demnaded a vertical presentation.

My 11 yr old has taken to wearing her bra to bed at night because one of her aunts told her she would get boobs faster that way

I told her be careful what you wish for 'cause once you get them you've got them for life

A lad in one of my classes had this gem last week. "My teacher has cajunkinhereye." That is 4 year old for conjunctivitus (pink eye) if you can't put it together.

Oh, good job aunt!! :rolleyes:

Selling Scrip* tonight, my friend buys some "Chicken Jesus" cards for the babysitter to use when entertaining the brat.

ChuckECheese's.

:lol:

---visions of Bob Evans menu including "chicken-fried Jesus"---




*Scrip = gift cards bought at a discount by school, sold at face value = fundraiser

Does that come with sausage gravy??

I'd rather not speculate....

Only if it's kosher sausage.

And snipped.

My kids have their swimming carnival on this Wednesday. We were talking about what strokes they're entered in. turns out it's everything for both of them. They're both going to try for age champion.

anyway, my youngest was talking about butterfly, and he said, "I'm the best in my class, but I still suck".

Reminds me of a swim meet last summer where one one my friend's kids said in a huge loud voice at one of the few quiet moments "I suck at breast". *snicker*

my 11 yr old has a great new weight loss idea - tiny little tapeworms in a capsule, that you can just swallow:eek: :headshake

I like it!!!

It's not original - the idea has been around (possibly as an urban legend) for years. I have seen posters (possibly fake) dated from the early 1900s advertising weight-loss tape worm eggs.
Uggghhh.
I suppose you could also develop a giant hair-ball.

That is really sick

LOL you would!!

okay no more tv for my 11 yr old- she just told my 7 yr old "take it up with your attorney"

haha....now that's funny.

From the 9-year-old stepdaughter the other evening:

"Are you sure these pajamas are for girls?" (This sort of thing has always been a huge concern for her.)
"Of course. First off, it's a nightgown, and boys really don't wear nightgowns, and second, it's pink and covered in hearts and glitter."
"Then why does it have a boy's name on it?"
"What?"
"The tag says 'Steve' on it."
"Honey... that's 'St. Eve.'"

hahah!

LOL thats too cute

Late last night, my insomniac 2 1/2 yr old daughter comes strolling out of her bedroom holding her doll. She looks at her dad and I and while pointing to her doll, says.."Look! Look! Baby has a boo-boo!! Awwwwww...."

There was a panty liner (new) with the strip removed, stuck to her doll's arm like a giant bandaid. :eek:

She bandaged and re-bandaged and kissed that boo-boo for hours.

Tonight, I just cleaned up BBQ sauce (from one of those small plastic cartons you get at fast food places) that she had poured all over her doll and the couch...exclaiming..."look!! Baby boo-boo, is bleeding!"

Maybe she's going to grow up to be a doctor?

I was helping in class yesterday (grades1&2), and they were just finishing up Spanish when I walked in. Thor proudly rushed over to show me his work -three pictures of waether conditions with the appropriate terms in Spanish)then went off because he wanted to draw a picture on the back. Other kids came over to show me their work, I enthused as per my role, then the teacher called the class to the meeting space. Thor runs over excitedly to show me (and then her) his last picture:

it's gotta be the first word he's ever written legibly and spelled correctly!

Did he get point off for not writing it in Spanish? ;)