I'm there as soon as you get a new eye and a sparkling personality...

i'M JUST SHORT FOR MY WEIGHT

:(

Oh well. Apparently pictures of The Greaseman bring more conversation than pictures of The Dave. Maybe if I had my own radio show too...

and witty shenanigans...don't forget the witty shenanigans

Wait...he's that porn star, right? Ugh, everytime I see him I'm like, "Yeesh, he did porn???" :eek:

Not for all the money in the world! ;)

And yet, you're with sycamore.

i'm still waiting for a pic of hayward.......

lets go!

Okay...you want conversation about your photos? Here...

You know, the one that shows Dave's face...he looks like he's 12. I saw a picture of him a couple years ago on his old website...and he looked 12 in that photo too.

So...doesn't Dave look really young for being 22?

And yet, Jenni's with you.

And that being the case, earns the title "Most Tolerant Person In The World".

(Rho gets the "Poorest Taste In The World" award. :P )

That, or she's blinder than you.

I think we all need to remember what's important here:

we want to know who the celeb was!

I would think that would be quite obvious.

(Incidentally, I'm the only one out of the four of us that doesn't wear glasses and has 20/10 vision. You fucking nerds.)

For the record, I have never done a celebrity...though I was given celebrity-like status by my friends for getting it on with a 30-year old at age 21.

I may be a nerd, but how is your depth perception and peripheral vision?

My peripheral vision is quite good. The depth perception obviously is non-existant. Neither have kept me from having a job while you were collecting unemployment these past few years.

(What's it like to be a burden to the state?)

That's what I suspected...yep, you're pretty much a fucking nerd too.

I can't help it if they have affirmative action programs for the mentally challenged.

It felt good...real good. I figured this god-forsaken place owed me a little something for us moving here. Rho and I went to the beach at least twice during the weeks I collected unemployment (one week in 2002, two this year). Thought about picking you up a souvenir, but then realized that a dumbfuck like you didn't deserve one. Keep it up, and there will be no squeaking dolphin for you on the next trip!

Me neither. Not that I would have stood a chance with any of the celebrities that I have met.

Although, I'm sure that hooking up with Prince would have been "veddy" interesting indeed! :D

I know where you live. I can break down doors. I will have my dolphin. And I will use him to squeak out whatever the fuck it was I was squeaking out last weekend.

no fair picking on a physical malady....besides, there's so much more to work with there. you don't have to go right for the glass eye. ( i'm inferring from context)

that has always been a fear of mine, to lose an eye. how'd it happen dave?

I done got shot in the eye by a high-powered pump action BB/pellet rifle.

The second most frequently asked question, after "How did it happen?", is "Did it hurt?" Yes. It did.

The third most frequently asked question is "Can you still see out of it?" No. I cannot.

It was me. I lost my virginity to September.

As far as picking on me/joking about the eye... I would agree that it's a bit out of line, as far as the "in good nature" 'fighting' that sycamore and I do. Making fun of someone for something they can't change is... well, out of line. I call sycamore "ugly" or "stupid", neither of which he is. I don't joke about his weight either, 'cause it doesn't seem fun to make fun of him for an actual fault. It's definitely disappointing that he's not more creative in finding things to joke about, but I'm not losing any sleep over it either. Nothing anyone on the Cellar says about me actually bothers me. I've heard it all before. No matter what your insult or joke about my eye, someone has done worse. Like I said, it's more a disappointment than anything else.

But she told me I was her first !!!!

Of course, it usually helps if you tell someone that you'd prefer them not to joke about something...especially when they've laughed with you about it before. And of course, had he asked me to refrain, I would have been more than happy to...I would have even removed the posts with references to it.

Talk about disappointing...

OW!


Actually, MY second question would be," who pulled the trigger, and are THEY still metabolizing?" OR "wasn't you, was it?"

Like I said, it's not a huge deal. It's kind of like not winning the lottery.

I didn't care to make a big deal of it, 'cause it wasn't a big deal. You're a cool enough dude that it doesn't make our friendship a negative thing for me. Re-introducing me to Reverend Horton Heat (I hadn't really listened to much by him since I first heard of him when Toadies broke out), feeding me Philly cheesesteaks... there was something else cool about our friendship, wasn't there? Oh yeah, you're ugly.

The person who did it to me was one Robert Buck of 2372 Gillis Rd, Mount Airy, MD 21771. He's still metabolizing because after a BB hits your eye at some 590 feet per second, you're really not thinking about anything else, and after a week in the hospital and months of freaking doctor appointments, I really just felt like getting on with my life. He was talking some shit about it at school, but with an IQ of probably 85 (he was *really* slow), I figured it was just because he was dumb. If I ever lit into him, I figured I probably wouldn't stop until he was dead. I don't need the hassles associated with murder, so I just dropped it.

It happened in '95. It's taken some getting used to, but life is pretty normal. It doesn't affect me very much. It has certainly made some things more challenging, and it's not like I'm glad it happened, but I'd rather have lost the eye than, say, a hand.

That's interesting. I've often wondered about shit like that (usually under the influence) but not having some experience remotely related to reference, I'd never been able to come up with a conclusion. Thanks man.:)

Because with two hands, you can always get some strange whenever you want! :king:

talking shit, as in, he meant to do it? You were 14? that's a really tough age to have something like that happen. Sorry to have taken you back there. Interesting that you have his address memorized.

reminds me of a story

But enough of a deal to put it out here on Cellar?

(4:38pm) (7:03pm) Well, the 2 times I was on unemployment were not due to any fault of my own (that I know of)--both were unavoidable situations. There wasn't anything I could do to change them (other than look for new jobs, which I did).

So, how would you explain the first comment? Was it said to "teach me a lesson", b/c I gave you shit about your eye?

No, I was just fucking around with you. If I wanted to "teach you a lesson", I would have brought it up a long time ago. Like I said, it's not a huge deal.

I do consider being unemployed a situation that can generally be remedied if you work hard enough. I know that you were looking for a job, and it's all good. I didn't write it angry or anything. But "looking for a job" and "being so desperate to work that I was begging Steve's Prince of Steaks to hire me at minimum wage so I could have a paycheck" are two different things. I'm not saying you were a lazy bastard, but I seriously doubt you were scouring the city looking for any place that would take you. You were too busy posting on the Cellar. :)

I don't have it memorized. I know what road he lives on, so I looked it up in Switchboard. :)

He definitely meant to shoot at me, because I got shot in the arm as well (and have the scar to prove it). I don't think he meant to shoot me in the eye. I don't think it occurred to him that what he was doing wasn't just the most dandy idea from which nothing wrong could ever result. Like I said, he was extremely dumb. (If you think that I think OnyxCougar and LUVBUGZ are dumb... they are really basically just average intelligence. Robert Buck was actually dumb. He couldn't take normal classes at school, but he wasn't in the "special" classes either. 85 is probably right about where his IQ was.)

Well, think about it, you can live a basically normal life with only one eye. It definitely takes some adjustment, but it's not a major life-altering happening unless you let it be. The only thing that's affected is my vision. Driving is a little bit trickier, but bigger mirrors and whatnot make that a non-issue. I'll never be able to serve in the armed forces, but I wasn't planning on doing that anyway. I decided pretty much right after it happened that I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself.

If you lose a limb though (or even just a hand or a foot), think about how different things are. Spankin' that booty, using a computer, driving, eating, picking up groceries, bench pressing... most of the functions of an eye are duplicated in the other eye. Depth perception obviously is gone (close one eye and then try to catch stuff that someone throws to you, like a pen or an apple - kinda tricky now!) and peripheral vision is affected a bit. I needed to re-learn how to shoot a rifle, 'cause my right eye was the dominant one (and it's the one I lost). But I can still do all that other stuff.

Now, if it was between losing both eyes or losing a hand... no fuckin' choice. Good-bye hand. They can re-attach those and you need serious physical therapy to make it useful, but with the hundreds of thousands (millions?) of nerve fibers working that eye... fat fucking chance. Maybe in my lifetime I'll see out of it again.

So anyway, there's some perspective on it for you.

bwahaha.. :3eye:

Stop that.;)

David, under the thread "things you should do" here is the thing you should not do:

You should not playfully start insulting people as a way of cementing your friendship if you have an invisible line they cannot cross.

This is inconsiderate at best, game-playing at worst. Suddenly you go from happily taunting to being hurt, and there is no way to know where that line is.

Either you have to drop the practice of insulting people as a way of being close to them, or you have to accept *anything* they hand back to you.

And by the way, just for future reference, I don't play that particular game; if you insult me as a way of getting closer to me, I will probably react poorly.

I never went to being hurt. The only thing I posted that in any way resembled that was the frownie, which I did because I thought it was funny. (Come on. Dave, He Who Hardly Ever Backs Down And Never Shuts Up, posting a single frownie. I thought it was funny.)

I didn't say anything until lumberjim said "no fair picking on a physical malady", where I then explained that while it wasn't my favorite thing in the world, I wasn't bawling over it either.

I went from happily taunting to... happily taunting while explaining my reaction to certain happy taunting. I even made it clear that there really isn't anything someone could say here that would hurt my feelings.

Now you say "Either you have to drop the practice of insulting people as a way of being close to them, or you have to accept *anything* they hand back to you." -- which is <b>exactly</b> what I've done. I didn't ask him to stop, I didn't explode at him. He's done it a number of times, and his creativity in it at times is quite funny. So I let it slide, 'cause it's not a big deal. When I said it was "out of line", maybe those weren't the best words. What I meant to convey was that it seemed abnormal for the sycamore. Not that I was distressed by it.

For future reference, I know you don't play that particular game, which is why there are threads in my weblog dedicated only to kissing your ass and making you feel rosy. You're a cool dude, so is sycamore. I'm not mad at him, though I am kind of bewildered that this has turned into such a big deal. I just thought it was appropriate that lumberjim's comment was addressed, and as the night went on, I realized that I hadn't done a proper job of offering my whole view (bwahaha, NBN).

You know, I'm just going to put it here again, so there's no question about it:

sycamore cracking eye jokes is not my favorite thing in the world, because if I could change it, I would, and yeah, it's kind of a shitty thing that happened. It's sort of like making rape jokes to a rape victim - one of those things you normally don't do. So when he first did it (it doesn't really phase me any more, because I expect it), I was taken aback. Now, it's kinda like "oh well". Like I said before, I'm not losing any sleep over it. I think about it for probably about two or three seconds, and then I'm over it. sycamore is a pretty cool dude, and I like him. He's made eye jokes for a while now, and I haven't stopped liking him. No one need get upset at people taking cracks at me (I can handle them), especially playful ones.

If you don't want something discussed on the Cellar, <b>don't mention it on the Cellar</b>. It's not like I started a fucking thread "sycamore picks on me unfairly about my eye". He made a number of cracks about it, jim said something, and I offered my thoughts - 'cause, you know, it's <b>my fucking eye</b>.

Tony, I respect your opinion, but I do not agree. I hope this has clarified my position, and I will email you about some further issues so as not to "air dirty laundry" in front of the crowd.

Holy shit -- I disappear for a week or two, and look what happens to this place...

There are strange mystickal forces at work. It's not just The Cellar, it's pretty much the whole world. There has been a stirring in the dark side of the force, etc.

Yes.

Dave dude ,, sorry to hear about your eye . Glad you have taken it in stride .
One question , and tell me to shut the fuck up if you want , i will understand .
Is the eye easly removeable ?? And if it is have you ever thought about some of the cool inserts you could get made ??
Like a scull and cross bones , or a cat eye , or goat eye , or get a small laser pointer embeded in an eye so when you go to one of those Quake conventions you can freak out the compatition .

As I said you can tell me to shut the fuck up if you want , but you seem cool about the whole situation .

I have the actual eye in and not a glass eye. I decided to keep it because there is a painful recovery period (or so I was told) with the removal of the eye. Like I said, I just kind of wanted to get it over with and move on, and a painful recovery period didn't seem like it was going to help.

I'll probably have something done eventually, but I'm not sure what. Right now, it's about 80% of the size of my other eye, due to loss of pressure fluid (that, you know, oozed down my face after I got shot - most offensive question I've ever been asked is "Did you lick it off?" - the answer is "No"). You can definitely tell, as soon as you look at me, that something is not right with the eye. There's also the fact that to sew the hole up, the pupil had to kind of be manipulated and blah blah blah. I'll take a picture with a camera that has a good macro function. Anyway, I haven't been very active in pursuing an eye cover (they make them to look exactly like your other eye) because I don't really give a fuck what I look like (because those that would judge me by appearance aren't people that I want to know). But yeah, one of these days, so I don't freak out the kids' friends.

After reading this thread I can't seem to bring myself to watch the christmas story this year. Silly red rider bb guns.

I saw that for the first time a couple days ago...I wasn't terribly impressed. And it has an 8. something on IMDb! I was astounded. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't something I could watch every year. Now, Christmas Vacation...I can watch that every year.

For me, Christmas Vacation was a see once and over.

A Christmas Story, on the other hand is endlessly entertaining and I look forward to the 24 hour marathon of it on TNT every year.

Everytime you turn the channel on it's the good part ... the little orphan annie decoder, the major award, visiting santa, flick and the flagpole ... yeah!!!

Indeed!! I'm looking forward to unpacking the special edition DVD for the first time.

http://us.st8.yimg.com/store4.yimg.c...f_1770_5396545

Now THAT's a doodad. (not to imply that anyone else's doodads are any less doodaddy).

That lamp is in "all" the catalogs this year. It's a pretty faithful reproduction but it's only 2 feet high.:(
Christmas Story- Quote lines from it and you'd be amazed the cross section of people that respond. It rings true with every strata but probably older (35?) people most.:)

so...there goes my "capture UT's attention" strategy.

drat.

sez you.

And yet it didn't keep me from posting Holocaust jokes on the "Tasteless Jokes" thread, and chasing away Nic. Then again, I'm a mildly offensive Texan.

Good luck to ya, Dave. I'll still take you out for some real barbecue if you ever make down here (just give me ample warning).