That was interesting. We all draw our own lines. I'm growing a new Kombucha mother on the counter right now...

I fukced up again. I binged. Only three days this time and quit on wednes. but brain/typing co ordination is off off off to the point of annoying to type.

yeah. I fucked up. isn't that grand? maybe If I was all big Bookie I would be fucking cured.

Oh hugs Bri! Big hugs. You quit on Wednesday, that's the most important thing.

Sorry Bri. Hang in there.

So what made you stop the binge? I don't have any personal experience there, so I'm wondering how that works. Do you just feel so crappy you stop? Seems like it would be so easy to keep going for a while.

I'm glad you found a way to stop. We still love you here.

Glad you're back :)

thanks, all.

Glatt - I stopped b/c I ran out of money AND I felt like shite and I knew it would only get worse and worse and I am sick of going to the very compassionate doc that I have (and he really is a good one) and letting him down AGAIN. So, lots of things there. BIggest reason, though, to be honest? no money. I"d probably still be drinking. My sister said the binges are getting shorter. I have changed some stuff about my drinking = and I still go to meetings and die for a cup of hope. thanks for caring you all. It helps to know I can come here and admit my faults and move on. and you don't hate me or shun me for it. thank you.

Do you think the extended family time played a role in triggering it? I'm glad you pulled yourself out again, nevermind whether it was for lack of money or bootstraps or whatever the reason. We do love you and will be here.

thank you. Now I'm tearing up!

I think being in constant contact with my mom and dad for the past month or so has def. played it's part but ultimately I am the one who is responsible. I did it. I drank it. No one held a gun to my head (except myself maybe). My mom must call me 20-40 times a day and my dad hates me so much he's betting he outlives me. Not a great atmosphere. I"ve asked the sisters to help - one of them is now among the unemployed so she's available, but they just won't help out for whatever reason.

I hate feeling this way.

You guys make it better. After the meeting I hope I'll feel more like "me" than I do now.

Oh, now, don't cry! But Clod's suggestion can perhaps be helpful if it makes you more aware that that is a risk factor ... Hoping you feel better soon x

*hugs*

((((((((((Bri))))))))))

The important thing is, you stopped. Hang in there!

That would do it for me!
Why is family such a horrendously hurtful force for some of us? Im glad it was a shorter episode for you Bri. You prolly went thru a mega amount of emotional stress.

When my ex quit she didn't see/talk/communicate with her parents for almost a year.
No B-days, holidays ... ZERO.
She credits that with her continued sobriety. Her parents were fucked up too. Manipulative beyond belief.
Maybe your sisters have issues with them as well and thats why they don't help you. They are too busy helping themselves stay out of the trap you are in. Hang in there.
(talking out my ass here)

No - not talking out your ass. It's really closer to the truth. THEY have escaped the vortex that is J&J (my 'rents). One is their "good girl" favorite who always, always did everything right (and I love her very much; she's my huge support person and i love her) and the other smokes so much weed she qualifies for Jamaican citizenship and just doesn't give a care.**


**'splain "so much weed" - when I was with her up in Maine she lit up about every twenty minutes. That's a lot of weed smokin' right there.

Sounds like your sisters haven't really 'escaped' the family situation - more like they're using their own coping mechanisms that aren't necessarily healthy. Sometimes the only way to recover from longstanding toxic patterns is to take some time and space for yourself and only reconnect when it's possible to do so in a way that doesn't set you up for hurt.

{{{{{{{Bri}}}}}}} .... hope you're doing better today. Lots of support and good thoughts coming your way. Take care of yourself today - and tomorrow - one day at a time. :hug:

I hadn't realized we left this thread for so long. I checked Phagebook this morning to find a lot of drunk pics of my family. I'm watching my attitude cuz everybody has to live his own life. As far as living mine, I haven't had the itch in a while. I feel maybe normal.

Normal is good. Congrats on normal. :)

Well, normal for me. ;)

I did have stress this week, a terrible kindergarten team showing up for a CPSE/CSE meeting, but I compartmentalized it.

I remembered how I found this thread so helpful at one time and felt it important to record this day here and to thank the others who have contributed in the past.

As of this moment I gave been 2000 days without alcohol.

http://www.timeanddate.com/date/dura...&y2=2014&ti=on


172,800,000 seconds
2,880,000 minutes
48,000 hours
2000 days
285 weeks and 5 days
5 years, 5 months, 21 days

Congratulations, Rhianne!

Wow, thats awesome!

Well done! Keep up the good work!

Wow.

Attachment 49731

Well done!


Sent by thought transference

Bravo!

Fantastic.

I've been alcohol free for almost ten hours. Straight.

Come to think of it, I'm prolly not alcohol-free quite yet.

july 28th, 2015. 33 days today and counting, funny thing is that I have not drank for this long since I was on my hiatus from society. The difference this time (from when I got out)? Knowing and admitting step 1 and wanting to quit, and not being ordered by the state to go to AA or similar program. I have way too much on the line now, they were always there before, but they were hiding behind the heineken curtain.

The rewards are numerous! improved marriage, improved relationship with my son, better sleep, no hangovers, better health (except for smoking, started smoking more), endless supply of ice cream :p:, in the process of getting my medical back so I can fly when I want to, jet training, job flying several models of jets that are covered by the type rating I will eventually obtain (about 6 months to a year or so), and so on and so on....list is pretty long :D !

Hoo-ray!

Good work brother.

Excellent, a big change, but huge bennies. :thumb:

It's only a day at a time, not *that* big. amirite? totally doable.

very doable. the first week was the toughest. i am, however, consuming large amounts of ice cream!! (and not gaining any weight!! :p:)

seriously though, sweets have been a lifesaver doing this. the first two weeks i think i ate a box of skorz bars and 2 gallons of ice cream lol! and yeah, it's a big change but the bennies are worth it!

Thailand government campaign.

hell that ad was so bad it almost made me drink lol!!! (j/k!)

CC Sabathia is going to try to climb on the wagon. Good luck to him.

Good for him.

He must have done something REALLY REALLY bad to walk away the day before the playoffs.

90 days today boys n girls!

what a ride it's been. in the past 90 days i've:
1. started sleeping better
2. smoking more (layoff! one thing at a time ;))
3. began my pilgrimage to get my medical back from the FAA due to 2 DWI's
4. after 13 months of being "demoted" from inside contractor to outside contractor from the office to being called BACK into the office not only as an inside contractor once again but this time lead designer AND project manager on two separate client jobs, one of which has roughly 12-16 sites
5. eating TONS of ice cream and NOT gaining a pound (my wife hates me for this :p:
6. due to #5 will be able to easily save for my Cessna Citation CE-500 rating once #4 is completed (barring any rating suspensions the gubmint might enforce (ie. no new ratings for you for the next 6 months or lyear). by obtaining the CE-500 type rating is good for the Citation 500, 501, 550, 551 & 560. Cessna uses the names: Citation, Citation SP, V, Ultra, Encore & Bravo.
7. learned to see things a whole lot different, in a better way.

8. last but certainly not least, my mother in law passed away just this last wednesday all while trying to get accustomed to being back in the office. where my wife and i work, if you don't work you don't get paid. I would get off work on monday & tuesday evening and go over to nana's and help out where help was needed then wednesday she called right when nana passed and i was there almost as fast. she passed gracefully and peacefully with friends and family around. you sure couldn't ask for more, not in this situation, anyway. point is though with #8 here is rather than do what me and my wife would have done (she has quit drinking right along side me) which would have been to go get drunk, we faced (and are facing) the issues that come along with this ultimate fact of life with clarity and pretty much knowing what to do next and if we don't, ask. make sense? we just arrived home about an hour ago from austin where Nana was laid to rest next to her loving husband of 28 years who passed back in the 80's.

it feels great to not have to deal with the crap that constant over indulgence of alcohol on a regular basis creates.

Good for you, Fred! It helps to have a supportive partner.

Well done.

Well Done!

Good job, philthy and wife. So sorry for your loss. :hug:

Makes dealing with the rest of the crap life throws at you less complicated too. Having a supportive partner is a big help and I agree with Mrs Fred on the ice cream :p:

Congrats bro. Very happy for BOTH of you. Lets catch up later this week.

thanks all, i'm doing my best and shall continue to do so! had a HUGE bomb dropped on me today as well. my sister and i haven't been all that close due to my drinking and the hiatus from society didn't help either but when i told her that today i picked up my 90 day chip, she informed me that i am an uncle and that she hadn't told me about this due to my drinking. i'm still floored! i don't know too much at this point other than that he is 4 years old but i will be finding out more details soon.

btw, this isn't something i have mentioned on the bacefook site and i will at some point but for now, i'm keeping it under wraps.

Wow. That must've blown your mind.

Wow. That's big news. Congratulations on the 90 days.

So much going on for you - congrats and condolences Fred, very glad to hear of the 90 days and the new family connections.

Good stuff Uncle hijinx...

4 months and counting.

Good lad, keep grinding.

coming up on month 7 with no problems, this has been much easier for me than I ever thought possible.

Most of you, if not all, know that I'm a pilot and hold a commercial certificate and that due to my drinking the FAA revoked my medical a few years ago because of it. Well, I've been jumping through the various proverbial "hoops" as directed by the FAA to re-acquire my second class medical.

One of the hoops was to undergo a substance abuse neuropsychological evaluation performed by a Human Intervention Motivation Study (HIMS) neuropsychologist. I took, and passed, the test on Feb. 4th which took all day and was very mentally intense as well as costing me a small fortune in cash, no credit cards or insurance accepted. Here is an excerpt from the conclusion of the doctors evaluation: "Given the fact that I fortunately saw no signs of aeromedically significant cognitive impairment on testing, I can recommend that Mr. Scheid be granted a Special Issuance in order to return to active flight status at this time."

next step is to open my mailbox and see a letter from the FAA with my medical inside. I'm sure it will only be valid for 6 months at a time for the next 2 years, but at least I can fly unrestricted once again and also for hire :D

That's great news. :celebrat:

Great job taking care of business.

Excellent!

Good for you, Fred!

Nice!